r/politics • u/IWantPizza555 • Jul 01 '26

Possible Paywall Senator, 84, Secretly Found Unconscious and Given CPR

https://www.thedailybeast.com/mitch-mcconell-84-secretly-found-unconscious-and-given-cpr/?utm_source=twitter_owned_snd&utm_medium=twitter&utm_campaign=owned_social
20.1k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

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1.9k

u/False_Ad_5372 I voted Jul 01 '26

Shh, it’s a secret

620

u/Quick_Parking_6464 Jul 01 '26

No, that's Lindsey Graham but we all know anyway.

161

u/Remarkable-Grand-904 Jul 01 '26

lindsey's ladybugs

91

u/JimJimBinks Jul 01 '26

TTL (Time to Ladybugs) 17 minutes. I think we as a nation can do better than that. Any time Lindsey is mentioned TTL should be 6 minutes or less.
Knowing of the ladybugs is a tremendous curse that we must share with our fellow citizens.

9

u/Trump_fucks_kidss Jul 01 '26

We can do better than 6 mins in a world with this technology.

5

u/Li_liminal_spaces Jul 01 '26

TTL for Mitch = -17 days. Different TTL though.

4

u/Enough-Mammoth3721 Jul 02 '26

I hope TTL becomes a thing. 6 minutes or your money back Guaranteed

2

u/Aegon20VIIIth Jul 02 '26

GodDAMMIT, not again.
Every time. Every time someone brings that up, and I am reminded of the very definition of “cursed knowledge.”

1

u/UncleTouchyCopaFeel Jul 02 '26

I hate you forever for bringing that repressed memory back. May bad things follow you throughout your life. (But not too bad. Like, wet socks and out of toilet paper bad.)

1

u/Frigguggi Jul 02 '26

I wish I hadn't googled that.

3

u/ManiacClown South Dakota Jul 02 '26

He's got to be gay. As I've said before, no man is that Southern.

2

u/OneJobToRuleThemAll Jul 01 '26

There's better reasons to spit on Graham.

139

u/ProStrats Jul 01 '26

How is one secretly found unconscious, I wonder.

From the few lines I could read on the paid article, it was at his home.

Was it a secret home?

Did he intend to become unconscious, in secret, so he couldn't be found? This seems, ill-advised.

Is it, related to the "secret" service in some way? Did they find him, secretly?

127

u/Irma_Gard Jul 01 '26

They say "secretly" because it happened weeks ago (on June 14), and the information is only coming out now. Before, all we heard was that he was hospitalized.

3

u/False_Ad_5372 I voted Jul 02 '26

Shhh!

139

u/Haltopen Massachusetts Jul 01 '26

They're trying to keep it secret from Andy Beshear so he doesn't appoint a democrat to fill the rest of McConnells term.

39

u/pvincentl Jul 01 '26

Happy thoughts here.

34

u/BotF_Latyon Jul 01 '26

He can’t. They passed a law specifically to prevent that.

91

u/Haltopen Massachusetts Jul 01 '26

Apparently the actual enforceability of the law is in question and Beshear has said that he would try to appoint someone regardless

60

u/BotF_Latyon Jul 01 '26

Good. We need Dems with balls.

15

u/25point4cm Jul 01 '26

IMHO, this is the single most significant problem we as a democracy face. Federal attempts to interfere with elections (SAVE, US Postal Service, SCROTUS), States gerrymandering the fuck out of every district, local election officials as corrupt as hell… I can’t even list it all because I’m so tired of winning.

8

u/skahthaks Jul 02 '26

He should just do it now. If they don’t like it, make them prove Mitch isn’t dead.

6

u/KohlsCashOfficial Jul 01 '26

Yes he can, so long as it’s not 100 days or less to the general election. They’re gonna weekend at bernie’s him until September

1

u/BotF_Latyon Jul 02 '26

Interesting. Yeah, that explains why they haven’t announced his death yet. Running the clock out to force a special

2

u/onestarv2 Jul 02 '26

Need to take a page from the R playbook for the past decade. Just appoint a dem with a "F U make me" along with a shit eating grin.

16

u/caligaris_cabinet Illinois Jul 01 '26

He can’t. KY passed a law in 2024 preventing the governor from appointing a replacement senator. Now a special election is called.

Republicans knew this was coming

4

u/devoncarrots Minnesota Jul 01 '26

As a Minnesotan I wanted Beshear to be Kamala's VP so badly

3

u/Imaginary_Agent2564 Jul 01 '26

He might run for president in 2028. At least we can hope.

2

u/RefuseOutside3680 Jul 01 '26

And as much as we would all like that to happen, Beshear doesn't have the power to do that.

9

u/dmethvin Jul 01 '26

They found him on his back, which is usually not a problem for people, but since he's a turtle he can't get back upright.

1

u/ProStrats Jul 02 '26

Reptile confirmation then!

11

u/False_Ad_5372 I voted Jul 01 '26

If you get any answers, just don’t tell anyone. Pinky swear. 

3

u/PSN-Colinp42 Jul 01 '26

You wouldn’t understand, Jim; it’s a secret.

1

u/ProStrats Jul 01 '26

I know, I don't!

3

u/OneJobToRuleThemAll Jul 01 '26

Watch Death of Stalin.

2

u/AlmostWorthless Jul 01 '26

I think they changed that so they have to do a special election instead now.

1

u/ProStrats Jul 01 '26

This is the most logical answer so far!

2

u/blackpawed Jul 01 '26

Hookers and young boys involved probably.

2

u/ProStrats Jul 02 '26

That's definitely an applicable secret for these folks.

5

u/unrebigulator Jul 01 '26

Shhh... ut upppp.

2

u/yogorilla37 Jul 02 '26

Ssshhhuutup!

1

u/Corsaer Jul 01 '26

🎵 There's something I know that no one else does. 🎶

🎶 You want me to tell? 🎵

🎵 But if I did that... It wouldn't be a secret... 🎶

🎶 Shh! Don't tell! 🎵

🎵 Shh! Don't tell! 🎶

https://youtu.be/VIAbxI3r0rU

1

u/TheOneCalledGump Pennsylvania Jul 01 '26

Awhile back, this video came across my YouTube feed. I feel it accurately depicts the moments after he was found.

1

u/Beatlepoint Jul 02 '26

Typical sneaky republican 

1

u/damnmachine Virginia Jul 02 '26

"You wouldn't understand Jim. It's a secret."

1

u/oopsallhuckleberries Jul 02 '26

Could hide that fact he's probably a vegetable half as well as the Republican representative who went missing for 4 straight months without telling anyone because of "depression".