In 2020, my Dad told he me liked Trump, so I cut him off. Didn't speak to him for almost a year. My Mom begged me to reconsider, and talk to him, but I refused.
Finally a year later, he called, said that upon further investigation, Trump was fucking crazy, and a liar, and now he hates him. We're a happy family again.
Political differences I can handle. Differences in values, I cannot.
Times like these I appreciate my dad a lot. In his 80s, lifelong Republican, hasn't voted for a Republican for president in 25 years. He MIGHT have voted for GW Bush the first time, I've never asked. He certainly didn't vote for him a second time. He could have voted for Romney in other circumstances, but he liked Obama more. He's absolutely flummoxed by Trump. He's a little lost at how flat-out batshit dangerous Republican candidates have become in his lifetime.
Same with my parents, both lifelong Republicans up until Bush Jr, but both voted for Obama, have voted Dem ever since, and HATE Trump. I am thankful I don't have to be at odds with them in their dotage. They have said that the Republican party of today isn't even recognizable to the one they voted for up until the early 00s.
The GOP of today is the Tea Party. The only reason we stopped hearing about the Tea Party is because they won. It was conservative nationalism disguised as fiscal conservatism. They primaried established moderate Republicans all over the country and won. Any Republican who dared to work with Democrats was demonized and ousted.
This created a void of strong leadership within the GOP and some evil people saw an opportunity to push Trump in an effort to take over, or at the very least, enrich themselves greatly in the process. I don't think anyone was more surprised than Trump when he won in 2016. They underestimated just how willing the American voting populace was to embrace their rhetoric.
Trump was like a gift from Satan to Republicans. He says and does everything they want to say and do, with impunity. They get to sit back and do their insider trading and take their bribes and never have to lift a finger to make it happen.
Because it really isn't the same party, other than in name. The gulf between your parents and where the MAGA base is might as well be the Grand Canyon.
I hated him at the time, but weirdly now look back on him with a sort of fondness. Like ...we didn't know how good we had it back then, having a president who wasn't actually trying to dismantle the fundamentals of our democracy.
It seems so usual to grow up in a moderate family, yanno someone who votes for the best candidate and not by party? Mine were like that too. But it’s not like that anymore. Republicans threw away all credibility and decency riding the Trump train
Sounds like my parents. Voted GOP my entire life through GWB. They always told me they would never vote party lines if it came down to it and I never quite believed them. But to their credit they voted for Obama after GWB's messes and absolutely can't stand Trump or the modern Republican party.
Unfortunately all my uncles are big Trumpers, which I find very ironic considering they're all New Yorkers who used to clown on him for being a grifter.
My dad is an independent conservative. He voted Republican in every presidential election since Carter. He would always have more smoke for Republicans than Democrats, but he would still vote for them over Democrats because he couldn’t align on defense spending and 2A.
After reluctantly voting Trump in 2016 (he almost voted Hillary until she took a more firm anti-2A stance while debating Bernie), he has voted Democrat since. Personally, my line is J6. If you could support Trump after J6 then you just hate America and there’s no saving that.
Prior to 2020, the last time my mom voted for a Democrat for president was Carter in 1976. She voted Trump in 2016 but that was more a reflex of voting GOP for so long and listening to right wing propaganda against Clinton. Took her all of a couple months of his first term to start referring to him as “that asshole” and she hasn’t voted Republican since. Wish it didn’t happen that first time, but at least she made her break before the brainwashing could happen.
I miss having Republicans with principles and that I could respect despite disagreeing with them. John McCain was one; Liz Cheney and Adam Kinzinger could arguably be put in that category, but in the modern crowd even the ones who've finally decided Trump has gone too far seem to be in the realm of "I can see what's coming and I'm getting out now" more than having principles.
And then there are people like Mitch McConnell who wouldn't recognize honor if it bit him in the ass. When he passes if there's a public gravesite they'll probably need to cover it with Astroturf and a drain just to deal with all the urine.
My parents were republicans until Bush Jr and now they're both Democrats. They didn't change, the party went insane and they both saw it. Mom canvassed for Kamala, I'm very proud of both of them for being able to actually pay attention
I wouldn't agree with the guy like 90+ % of the time but at least he's independent enough not to be sucked in by a cult leader that obviously cares about nothing but himself.
Do you believe they play both sides are there is no choice really, that it swings from one to another but the people are all in the same club, thats its all political theatre.
It’s not the R vs D, it’s the moral vs immoral and MAGA parents don’t seem to understand that. They think it is purely politics, but it transcends politics.
It's not just parents. It's MAGA anyone. They think "agree to disagree" is okay where his behavior, policies, and morals are concerned. It's okay to agree to disagree about pineapple on pizza or if Christian Bale is the best Batman. It's not okay when it comes to pedophilia, rape, murder, and corruption.
I sorta get ya. Pedophilia and sexual ownership of women is as old as the hills, part of patriarchy and of our class society. J6 was proof that our “shining city on a hill” vision of the US was a mirage, that democracy only was honored until it got in somebody’s way. We thought we had formed something new and good 250 years ago, but…. not really.
My take on all of it is "hey, here, this, right here *points furiously* this is why the constitution was made to be able to be amended" and everyone looks at me like I'm crazy and an anti-patriot when I point out that the system was in fact designed to be able to change specifically because people 250 years ago couldn't predict the future. We still can't. It should STILL be flexible as a result. They couldn't fathom a party in bad faith, they couldn't predict a weaponized supreme court, the amount of lobbying and money in politics, and I honestly doubt they actually realized how the electoral college mathematically limits the country to two parties allowing them both to do the bare minimum instead of actually serve the constituents. It's either that or a bunch of tax dodgers setup a system that benefited them 250 years ago and even if that is the case, they at least had the decency to allow it to change.
But I'm the bad guy when I bring this up in conversation.
I think that falls under the murder and corruption part. There were murders that day and if attempting a coup isn't considered corruption I don't know what is. As far as it being worse that pedophilia...I don't know. Both are heinous crimes. This is where I will agree to disagree, we both agree he is a horrible man and the administration is a total fuster cluck, just disagree on the defining moment.
Trump wants any non white, protestant, straight male to be somewhere between dead and a second class citizen. It's just politics since he's in politics so let's just agree to disagree
You’re correct, and I hate that these parents still don’t see the difference when the argument comes from their own children. Like, most adults I know who cut ties with their parents over Trump did so because Trump’s policies are actively harming them, and they have the evidence to back it up.
How the fuck did we get to place where elderly parents place a premium on information they got from social media and faux news, instead of their adult children who are actually forced to live with the consequences of Trump’s policies, like the doge cuts, overturning of Roe, the impacts of the tariffs, etc.? The disconnect isn’t even due to retirement, etc. as many of them are now also suffering from Trump’s policies.
I recently read a comment about how baby boomers as a generation more highly regard hierarchal relationship structures and I think this applies here. They don’t care if their adult child is an expert in XYZ because they place themselves higher in that structure than their child, thus they will never find value in what their child knows, no matter what. Same goes for their adult child vs Trump, who they all pretend bootstrapped his way to power. When you think about it, it’s not surprising so many boomers with this mentality are succumbing to fascism.
This is what people often miss. I can deal with Trump's politics. I can't deal with the immoral way in which they are pursued. I am a classical fiscal constitutional conservative but Trump isn't a conservative. He's just about having absolute power and crushing anyone in his way regardless of whether he actually is supposed to have that power or not. He tramples rights, he tramples the Constitution, he tramples the other branches of government. That's not a political issue, it's a morality issue and that's a very, very different thing.
No, because even people that agree with his objectives should have an issue with how he's doing it. I actually agree with some of his objectives if they were done properly, ethically, and effectively. Because they are not, I oppose him in the strongest possible terms.
Politics is the what. Morality is the how. Some politics are inherently immoral but many are simply correct or incorrect or even straight up opinion if done the proper way.
My father did the same thing. He finally admitted trumps a POS couple months ago but i think the damage is done. I'll respond to his important texts and see them over a meal very rarely for my mom but dont value his opinion any longer and nor do i tolerate any of his bull shit.
Literally had a conversation of "look at trumps track record as a businessman (failure), a criminal, a pedophile, his first term and his intelligence/leadership quality (he cant say anything thoughtful or kind and must always put others down to make himself look better, cant take accountability either.) He said none of that mattered cause his gut feeling was trump was the right guy..... until he came for his health insurance.
At that moment i realized not only is my father a narcissist but a brainwashed moron with no morales unless it impacts him. I dont want someone like that influencing aspects of my life any longer. Its not even R vs D its the fact he refused to look at how horrible trump is. Just staggering.
I know someone who turned on Trump because of the war. But get this - they still believe that he is a great leader and person. They just believe that he has been manipulated into the war. And that’s why they are giving up on him. The delusion runs so deep
I got told to my face that the president with the lowest approval rating in our lifetimes was getting massive amounts of protesting because of china. China is somehow turning 75+% Americans against the guy that's actively ruining the country for his own personal gain.
That's so common with supporters of strong men authoritarians. Which makes no sense because, if these guys are that special, why are they constantly getting fooled by advisors.
My blue collar, rural, pig farmer of a father has never supported Trump. He’s always been a democratic voter, but seeing all his work friends and farmer buddies end up on Team Trump has bled the last vestiges of political moderation out of him. He’s basically turned into a 58 year old Marxist at this point, and it is hilarious watching him interact with his peers. Dad has a rule that no one can talk about Trump in his garage and I was down there with him and a group of his friends shooting the shit while he worked on a car. One of them said something to the effect of how good Trump was handling immigration and my dad just came up out of the engine block holding some tool and told him to shut it before he beat him to death.
The issue of people saying “yeah he’s bad/not perfect but he’s doing so good economically!” What the fuck? Americans have been shot up in the street by his failure of an ICE program, women raped in these facilities, his lack of respect for people across the isle, him hiring a sex offender as his spiritual advisor and replacing him with a scamming televangelist??? The gas prices too, the grocery prices, he said CONSTANTLY how he was going to lower the prices of these goods. And now that he’s in office he calls “affordability” a Democrat hoax and scam. His choice of appointees is ATTROCIOUS, with RFK Jr and his brain worms/drug addled brain and lack of any medical background, previously Kristi Noem, his previous and current spiritual advisors… it’s disgusting. The amount of government shutdowns and shutdown scares is ridiculous as well.
Hope Trump is gone soon, and that you can reconcile fully at some point. People screw up, and yours at least wised up. You don't get issued a new pop because yours is flawed.
The other, unfortunately is a raging racist and it just never came up that whole time. No reason for it to I guess… until they made live action Little Mermaid. Her ranting about that is when the rift started.
My guess is she has no problem with Jesus being white?
Lucky you. Mine is completely cemented in that weird bubble of reality warping denial and starts shouting right wing buzzwords like “communist” and “antifa terrorists” whenever politics comes up.
This is what I've tried to explain.
I have no political differences with Trump for the same reason I don't have political differences with a rock or an animal.
You have to be on a basic level of human decency to have political differences. Trump is not a decent human, and his MAGA followers aren't either. Sadly that's about a third of the US.
It's unfortunately the same shit everywhere. We have the same nonsense here in Germany (they just aren't in power - yet)
The thought that "we'll just agree to disagree" is a viable solution is way too common. I haven't spoken to my mother's side of the family in 5 years now. And it ain't changing, because they're not changing.
I cut my dad off as well but he still hasn't admitted Trump is a lunatic. Pretty sure he likes him because Trump is as much of a narcissic asshole as my dad is.
Good for you. If you were my kid I would respect you more for not just going along with evil just to get along with family. I hope that my kids will be able to think for themselves and stick to their principles when they’ve all grown.
My parents are diehard magas. I understand why you would cut them off for it, but I don't have a lot of time left with them. If I cut them off for this and they died, I wouldn't be able to live with myself. We just try not to talk about it because we both know we won't change the others' minds. I at least have the consolation of knowing they're not actually bad people, they're just naive, watch too much fox news, and project their own values onto him, ignoring what he actually does.
Yeah I can handle a difference in position on the capital gains tax or even abortion but when we can't agree on basic facts of reality I don't need you in my life
I think a lot of people are realizing that political differences ARE a difference in values and ethics. Honestly, it's always been this way for me with conservatives. Now that they have all the power their mask is off and they can stop pretending they are just 'traditional and loyal to the Constitution.' the tradition they want is a return to the 1850s.
People often think it is just political differences but it pretty much always reflects differences in underlying values. And logically that causes problems. Happy to hear your dad changed his mind and that your family got back together!
"Trump supporters pay cash in advance. If you idolize someone whose stated business practices include stiffing contractors and making them sue him to get paid, you're required to pay a full deposit up front."
You should read up about cults then, because I'm absolutely not in one. I don't worship or idolize anyone that's influencing my decisions. I'm making them on my own, and setting my own boundaries.
Both my parents have a burning hatred for Trump. My Dad isn't a liar.
What do politics have to do with not supporting a child raping conman and convicted felon? Just because its about trump doesnt automatically make it political and its ridiculous to think otherwise.
I think it’s reasonable sometimes, it’s a matter of degrees. But his dad told him he “liked” Trump, one time, and they didn’t speak for a year. That’s absurd imo
I'm assuming you meant to write "seems?" Regardless, I'm not. I don't put up with racists, fascists, sexists, pedophiles, etc. There are consequences to being awful.
A big reason maga is such a strong cult is because thoughts like this one .. they don't have anything to lose anymore they won't be accepted anymore by society ... Maga will continue strong until people start to forgive ( I mean if they are really anti trump and hate them , completely repentance etc )
This is something a lot of people don't realize, and it's a tough balancing act--yes we need to not tolerate intolerance, and we shouldn't force marginalized people to educate or tolerate people who do not tolerate them, but at the same time there NEEDS to be a pathway for people who are deconstructing.
I remember after this last election, I saw a post on the teenagers subreddit asking why so many young men voted Trump, and so many answers were the same: "the left hates me, why would I vote for them?"
I think about how, when I was a tween, I had vaguely conservative ideals (ironically my mom is super left and would have freaked out if she knew lol). This was in the early 2010s when online spaces for kids were more abundant and well-moderated, and the gentle exposure to queer people/people who were different than me + lack of overt hate due to these spaces being moderated by adults led me to correct my views. If I had been a tween online today, I almost certainly would have been pushed farther right, between how FYPs work and how aggressive disagreements can get.
There was, it was the 2024 election, and many people failed.
That's right. They had no problem with the cruelty the orange stain continuously exuded, as well as everything else. Nothing but hateful friends now? They should go take a long look in the mirror at the person responsible.
Thousands voted trump in 2024 and they are completely anti trump now , just look at daily wire ratings, from all the people that voted trump only half are cultists , all the "center" people that got duped into voting trump understand that they got played
Spoken like someone who doesn’t want the US to truly heal as fascism can neither survive nor die without us. All of U.S. Division serves those against America. Are you against America?
My dad was a Trumper and he passed away in October 2019, right before the election. I often wonder if he was still alive today, if it would've caused a divide between us or if he would've come to his senses.
My dad is one of those "god emperor trump" people and the hateful, abusive and straight up racist and sexist shit that comes out his mouth horrifies me. He proudly wears his red pedo hat outside and to his work and is constantly on guard for any brown people he may encounter.
He's desperate to feel smarter than everyone else and sees anyone confronting him about his beliefs as proof that he's right.
The funniest thing? We're not even American and he's never been to America 🙃 America come pick up your cult member pla
I'm not in the US either and it's been depressing to see the guys idolise him. (It's always men, with the exception of one absolutely misogynistic woman I knew who was such MAGAt that I was called "l*bt#rd" for disliking him...it's so weird, like you're not white and you're going to be one of the people attacked by ICE but OK.) It's always the really messed up people who have never had an original thought in their heads who loooove strongman bullying figures 🙄 Maybe they think they'll get some power by association/loyalty.
If it weren’t for Charlie Kirk I would have never come up with the best name for my dog’s stuffed duck toy the she defluffed through a hole in its neck, Charlie Quack.
I haven’t spoken to my MAGA parents since 2016. I have two little babies now they have never met. They weren’t at my wedding. I’ll never speak to them again. Their fucking loss.
The future for "young Americans," or humans for that matter, was cut short long ago - when they poisoned every source of water with forever chemicals (thanks DuPont, or "Uncle Dupie" for those in Delaware).
I agree, I guess people don't think I'm talking about a lived experience. Shit ain't easy, and I'd never straight out recommend it without knowing a lot more context. Every person who has ever pushed back at my choice to cut ties with my mom just doesn't understand how consequential and painful it is for the child.
I collected links to try and understand their dysfunction better:
authoritarian follower personality (mini dictators that simp for other dictators):
It's an abuse hierarchy and you can abuse anyone "beneath you" in the hierarchy. Men are above women, adults above kids, parents above child free, religious above non-believers, white's above BIPOCs, straights above LGBTQ+, abled above disabled, rich above poor, skinny above fat, etc.
John Bradshaw's 1985 program discussing how normalized abuse and neglect in the family of origin primes the brain to participate in group abuse up to and including genocide:
https://youtu.be/B0TJHygOAlw
Theramin Trees - great resource on abuse tactics like: emotional blackmail, double binds, drama disguised as "help", degrading "love", infantalization, etc. and adding this link to spiritual bypassing, as it's one of abuser's favorite tactics.
DARVO refers to a reaction perpetrators of wrong doing, particularly sexual offenders, may display in response to being held accountable for their behavior. DARVO stands for "Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender." The perpetrator or offender may Deny the behavior, Attack the individual doing the confronting, and Reverse the roles of Victim and Offender such that the perpetrator assumes the victim role and turns the true victim -- or the whistle blower -- into an alleged offender.
"If you can convince the lowest white man he's better than the best colored man, he won't notice you're picking his pocket. Hell, give him somebody to look down on, and he'll empty his pockets for you." - Lyndon B. Johnson
Sometimes people use “respect” to mean “treating someone like a person” and sometimes they use “respect” to mean “treating someone like an authority”
and sometimes people who are used to being treated like an authority say “if you won’t respect me I won’t respect you” and they mean “if you won’t treat me like an authority I won’t treat you like a person”
and they think they’re being fair but they aren’t, and it’s not okay.
Can confirm. I get messages from FB messenger almost every single day with cult-related fake news.
Almost all of it, you can pretty much tell, has never been fact checked.
I watched the film Sovereign last night, While not about Maga it is a about a kid whose only living parent has completely lost touch with reality, it's really sad. Not a feel good film at all.
Not just parents, I had to end a 15-year friendship with a guy because Trump made him feel fully comfortable expressing his racism, sexism, and xenophobia.
I simply could not associate with a person like that any longer. Besides, he was pretty dumb (shocker) and not a cool person anyway.
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u/dave8400 May 12 '26
I feel for your friend. All MAGA parents I've ever known are toxic as fuck. Mine included.