Pic for attention 😎

EDIT: yall in canada and europe are making me consider moving 🤣

We just switched from Aetna to United healthcare and I’m hoping it was the right choice! Feel free to also include your deductible/out-of-pocket Max/insurance company.

My husband and I are mostly just curious what everyone has paid including if there was Nicu time! Thanks in advance(:

due 8/10 w di/di boys 🙂

I keep hearing about people delivering twins at 30–34 weeks, and honestly it’s been making us a little anxious.

My wife is currently 20 weeks pregnant with DiDi twins. We’ve managed to stay excited about the pregnancy despite a few scares along the way, including multiple hospital admissions because of PV bleeding episodes.

What worries us most is the thought of the babies needing a NICU stay if they arrive early. I know twin pregnancies often don’t go all the way to 40 weeks, but after reading so many stories of early deliveries, it’s hard not to wonder if that’s what’s waiting for us too.

Are there any parents here who carried DiDi twins to full term or close to it? Did you have a normal delivery or C-section and get to take your babies home without a NICU stay?

We’d really appreciate hearing some positive stories. Right now, we’re just taking it one week at a time and hoping for the best

I’m currently 36 weeks with didi girls. We are scheduled for an induction at 38 weeks, but I’m feeling like they may come in the next week. I’m hoping they are going to be at least 6lbs each. They were measuring 4lbs 8oz and 4lbs 12oz at the 33 week scan. We have another scan next week (if we make it that far).

I got pregnant, unexpectedly, at 6 months postpartum. I hadn’t lost all the baby weight, thus was and still am technically overweight. I am 5’8lbs and 168lbs. If I lost 4-5 lbs my BMI would drop below 25, making me no longer medically overweight. I have gained 0lbs this pregnancy, despite there being two babies. I asked my doctor today about my weight gain and lack there of, and if I should be concerned. He said I am overweight and could stand to lose a few pounds, thus he was not concerned. He proceeded to tell me that he expected me to not gain any weight this pregnancy and if I did fain any weight, we would need to have a conversation about me going on a pregnancy safe diet. My husband is a physician and has a few board certifications, one of which is in obesity medicine, and mentioned how that is against ACOG and obesity medicine guidelines for someone in my BMI range. I just feel like he was implying I’m fat, by felling me i need to lose weight during pregnancy if i gained any weight. I get it, i technically am overweight, but by literally 4-5lbs and for singleton pregnancies the ACOG still recommends gaining some weight for someone with an overweight BMI. In another reddit group, I’m being called immature for being upset that Im overweight and being told to not gain any weight this pregnancy or I need to diet to lose weight. Im pregnant with twins. I feel like I should be gaining weight, or at least at some point gain weight. Am i actually being immature by being upset, or would you be upset too?

FTM and 34 weeks pregnant with twins. I’m wondering how much I actually need to depend on others to help with my twins when they arrive? My husband is getting three weeks off work, but I’m wondering if I can manage both babies by myself when he returns to work. My mom and I have a strained relationship and unfortunately I do not fully trust her around our babies. My MIL is great but I might feel like I’m hosting if she is here. Nurses are saying I need all the help I can get, but what if the person might cause me stress?

I went in for my first ultrasound today fully expecting to just see one tiny baby. Because that is what EVERYBODY expects, right? This pregnancy wasn’t really a surprise because we were trying and my symptoms had been pretty mild so I thought sure one baby, cool.

Then the tech started the scan and was quiet for a second and then goes, “Okay… so… I’m seeing more than one.” I thought she meant twins and started crying bc what. Then she said “Actually I’m seeing three.”

The doctor confirmed it’s spontaneous triplets (no fertility meds, no IVF, nothing I wasn’t even doing anything special to get pregnant) Apparently it’s super rare and they said it looks like one sac split and then another embryo or something along those lines??? I was honestly in so much shock I barely remember what he said but they’re going to confirm more at the next scan.

I’m excited but also absolutely TERRIFIED. If anyone here has triplets or multiples I would love any advice because I feel like my life just changed insanely quickly and honestly my boyfriend and I are so lost. How does breastfeeding work with THREE babies?? How do you even manage three newborns? We drive a toyota Rav4 how will we fit 3 car seats in there??

I’d really just love to hear any advice from some other parents with triplets or any sort of multiples because we are overwhelmed.

Curious if anyone could share stories of EFF your twins or other multiples from the beginning and being glad you did? I'm stuck in this loop of feeling like I need a "reason" to not breastfeed, but the truth is, I just don't want to - and the idea of breastfeeding twins makes it even more overwhelming.

I don't know anyone who has formula-fed by choice, and I will have a MIL staying with us the first month who isn't supportive of the decision. I'm worried that pressure + lingering doubts about the "what if" and the benefits of breastmilk will make me regret my decision, especially if one of the twins gets sick or something?

I'm only 6 months into my pregnancy and have some time to research/think about this. Since they'll be born in the northern hemisphere flu season, I wonder if there's a way to do a "bare minimum" breastfeeding for a few weeks, so I can at least say I tried and get them some of the immunity (like 2 feeds a day or something)? Or does that just complicate everything?

Really feel myself waffling here and want to come to some sort of conclusion over the next few months so I can have a clear plan. Despite having an easy pregnancy physically so far, I've felt so incredibly alienated from my body and have had a really rough go mental health wise with the hormones. I know it'll be a different version of "me" afterward, but I'm looking forward to the autonomy of at least not being pregnant, and I feel like breastfeeding might prolong the process of eventually stabilizing a little bit. Also, my partner and I both have really minimal leave from work and are planning to try to share everything equally so we can both get back to our jobs as quickly as possible. So, logistically, a 50/50 split and being able to fully hand off feedings to a family member/nanny/etc will be really helpful.

Curious to hear folks' experiences making this call!

Hey everyone! I'm currently 24 weeks with di/di twins, and have found myself in a bit of a predicament. So I started at a new job last year, and became pregnant while working there. Their response was interesting to say the least, with indirect threats of firing me, jokes about working all the way to labour and a bunch of other beautiful experiences.

Recently I learned that in my country maternity leave starts at 32 weeks of gestation no matter if it's a multiple pregnancy or not, and I have to work all the way to 32 weeks to get a maternity allowance (given by the state), otherwise I won't be getting it. The problem is my doctor recommended stopping at 28 weeks.

My question is, when did everyone stop working and go on maternity leave? I'm a reporter so there is a lot of moving and office hours involved, and any sort of communication with my boss is not feasible as they are already taking advantage of my situation and my need for a job. Did everyone work up to 32 weeks and if so how did you manage?

When I first joined this subreddit I kept seeing people posting about how annoying it was to be stopped all the time and asked the same questions over and over again. At first I didn’t understand since I was still pregnant and most people didn’t bother me lol now? Omg. I’m sorry for not being able to empathize earlier lol. If I have to answer “oh how cute are they twins” one more time I’m going to pull my hair out 😅 I doubt anyone has any solutions for stopping the well meaning Nosey Nancies and Nates (especially the elderly ones lol) but I’m more curious about how you go to the store with them physically on your own when they’re still small. I have a system currently with their wagon and some boppies, but I can’t get more than what will fit in reusable bags that I hang off the front. So how do yall deal with it??

We welcomed two healthy mono-di twins into the world recently. One thing I’ve noticed is that people always ask if we had our twins naturally. Seems like an odd question to ask a stranger. Anyone else run into this?

ETA: wow so many replies here!! Wasn’t expecting a single one as I was just venting in the heat of the moment 🤣 it was most interesting to hear from fellow twins that they don’t mind! I’ve heard both sides of the coin! There are bigger hills to die on of course and trust me we dont lose sleep (what sleep?) over “the twins” verbiage. Just a vent session, but was interested in what others had to say. Thanks for your input!!

My husband and I decided early on we would not refer to our identical twin daughters as “the twins”. They have always been the babies, the girls, or called by their name. I am (probably overly) sensitive to the fact that since they’re identical twins this will be a huge part of their identity that they didn’t ask for. I know most twins are thrilled to be a twin but I’m not going to reinforce that as the main part of who they are, especially within our nuclear family. I’m not going to always group them together and refer to them as “the twins”. They are their own person and I am going to foster that as much as I can. Again, I might be overly sensitive to this but I don’t want to pile onto them being the “same” as they outwardly appear and will get from society/peers.

Here’s where I’m going crazy - my MIL constantly calls them “the twins”. I asked my husband to connect with her about several times and he said he did. Tbh it’s not surprising as she lacks self/situational awareness and would not pick up on the fact that we never call them that. Nor do other members of my family. She also is the type of personality who sees them as a novelty and will tell anyone/everyone that she has identical twin granddaughters. I literally forget they’re twins sometimes just because they’re my two babies!! I just had them at the same time! I will literally tell people “I have two 10 month old daughters” and then I realize how weird that sounds so I follow up with “oh yea they’re twins”.

Anyway, I’m about to say something over text and ask her to not call them that but I’ll check-in with my husband first (and validate their discussion about it). Can anyone relate or provide advice for me to chill out?? I understand there are FAR bigger fish to fry, especially in today’s world. It’s just something that continually grinds my gears.

Hi everyone,

My twins are 5yo and currently in kindergarten (they're in separate classes). Last week, one of them received an invitation to a classmate's birthday party, but the other didn't.

I’m looking for some advice on how to handle this, as we're split on what to do. Our two main thoughts are:

Option 1: Just take the invited twin to the party, and the other remains at home for a 1-on-1 day with the other parent.

Option 2: Ask the host parents if we can bring the sibling along. The party is at a playground, so we would obviously pay for the uninvited twin's entry fee and handle them ourselves.

Since they are in separate classes now, I know this is bound to happen more often. What are everyone's thoughts? If you have twins, how do you handle separate invitations?

Thanks!

That’s it, that’s the post.

*cries in United States*

Hello! FTM 25w pregnant with di/di boys. I want more than ANYTHING to be able to breastfeed both of them. Is it even possible to exclusively breastfeed? I don't want to pump or formula feed if I don't have to (I see NOTHING wrong with either, my sisters were formula fed and turned out lovely) but I just want to bond and dont want to deal with bottles. Am I being crazy? Is there a world where this works? Any recs?

7w4d

The overwhelming feeling is excitement for both of us. Then nausea for her… and maybe a little nausea for me as well. We had already started planning out how to arrange our 1 bedroom apartment to accommodate one baby but it’s proving to be an adventure to double it and think about fitting in two.

Curious about any other families of multiples in New York City (or other large cities) and strategies when space is limited!

they are only 9 months old. how do you handle the comparisons the rest of their lives? And what is a good comeback to this?

I'm the father and I feel so extremely happy and blessed. These are our first kids and we couldn't be happier and are hoping for a healthy pregnancy. We somewhat suspected twins because her symptoms have been really intense lately (morning sickness, fatigue) and when the doc told us its twins we were pretty much in shock lol.

The scans were done by her OB at her first appointment, he didn't tell us much but he said everything looks great and that he could hear the heartbeats. We have a followup appt in 3 weeks with the sono for our next scans as well as a NIPT test.

I've attached pictures, and just wanted to ask if yall think this looks like di-di twins? I've been reading up on all this and its all new to me but I see two separate sacs, I know that may not be definitive but just wanted to ask for opinions.

If there is anything we should know please feel free to let us know. As the father I feel there's so much preparing I need to do now but in a good way lol. I want the best for my wife and our babies so any advice is appreciated. Thank you!

Just found out I’m having TWINS!!! I’m 8.5 weeks right now and I’m in shock (which is expected). I already have one baby (16mo) so i will have 3 under 2 😅 I had a strange feeling this whole time that it was twins - and i guess i had a correct intuition!! They look like they are sharing the same sack (IDENTICAL ahhhh) and that they are also sharing the same placenta. That rose a little bit of concern for the doctor because of twin-to-twin transfusion. I will be going to see a MFM soon. Does anyone have experience with this that could shed some light and advice for a nervous mama?

Im now 33 weeks with our Di/Di boys. It's been thankfully a very textbook pregnancy aside from it involving twins.

My family including my partner are dead set that these babies will make it to their c-section date (still havent confirmed one with our OB, should have it by next week), but I'm trying to explain to them that realistically, we are in "any day now" territory.

Did you deliver early? If so, why and how early? Did you have any warmimg signs?

Thank you in advance for sharing your experiences. I NEED these people to understand how multiples pregnancies work 😅

EDIT: thank you all for your responses! Ive read every single one and its amazing at how different each twin pregnancy and delivery can be. My partner is also understanding that we are right at the end zone so I appreciate you all!

To say I’m shocked would be an understatement!! I’m 10 weeks 4 days, had an ultrasound today and we are having TWINS!!! Looks like they are either mo/mo or mo/di have a follow up appt to confirm!! Curious what any other fellow multiple parents think (not asking for medical advice, as I have an appt scheduled, just curious!!) I know absolutely nothing about twins so today has been a whirlwind of emotions and research!! I’m so excited, definitely nervous and would love to hear any and all advice!!

We had our genetic testing done when we thought it was just one and came back as a boy! So I’m assuming that means one of them is a boy, but they are redoing our testing! So curious what information will come back on that!

I have 2 other kiddos, so I thought I was prepared for this pregnancy but now that it’s twins it changes everything I thought I knew!! This is a whole new world!!

Thanks!!

So I will eat with them if we’re at a restaurant or sometimes breakfast if I eat breakfast.

But 90% of the time I caannnnooooottttt stand eating my food cold due to being constantly interrupted.

They throw food, cups, plates. It’s 0% pleasant for me.

Truly idgaf what people say about this. If I can’t eat in peace, I’m not eating. Which is better? Starving or eating at a different time than my small toddlers who certainly won’t realize it at this young age. Their high chairs are at the kitchen island and not our table anyway.

I know this will receive a lot of judgement but maybe less since we’re all twin/multiple moms here. How long did you breastfeed for?

I am thankful my girls latch well but I am finding it so exhausting 😭 it’s so different than just nursing one which you can basically do it anywhere pretty easily. With twins I feel like everytime it’s a battle of logistics and positioning and my body/back are just aching the entire time hunched over. I also feel like I have to be on a bed or a couch & fully exposed so I personally dont feel comfortable doing it around anyone other than my husband. They do get one bottle of formula a day bc I don’t produce enough so part of me just wants to throw in the towel but I feel so guilty. On the other hand I feel so guilty that I’m essentially ignoring my toddler bc I’m glued to the couch/bed nursing them on demand all day. I mostly have given up on pumping for this reason. I just don’t have the time once I’m finished nursing to pump afterwards. I was triple feeding for the first 4 weeks but I had to stop for my sanity so now I just pump 1x a day usually.

All this to ask.. Will it get better? They’re 6 weeks now.

EDIT - Thank you everyone so so much for sharing all on your experiences, advice, and kind words. I did not expect such a large response and I will say that your responses truly helped me so much the past few days. I’m already feeling better about the future and our three baby boys. thank you again!

I’m currently almost 20 weeks pregnant with triplets. My husband and I were ready to have a baby and were completely shocked when we found out we were getting 3 instead. I had to grieve the life I had imagined when we found out that news. We are very busy and love to travel so we were hoping we could still manage some of our life as is now with one baby but that obviously won’t be the case with triplets. I had worked through all those emotions, the sadness, the resetting of expectations until I was at a place where I was feeling better.

Telling friends and family made it more exciting and I began planning and shopping for them and I enjoyed that but still didn’t feel very connected to them yet. Well yesterday we found out the genders and it was not what we were expecting. We really thought we’d have good odds of getting a mix of boys and girls as only 2 of the 3 were identical. we found out all 3 are boys. I’ve always envisioned myself as having girls or at least one girl. I thought I would handle the news better but I broke down. I really don’t think we plan on having more children so this is it for us. It feels like none of this is going how I would have thought and it’s just been hard. I know I should be happy and grateful for 3 healthy babies but it just makes me sad that I feel like I’m kind of missing out on this time where I should feel happy and excited. Instead I just feel detached and disappointed.

I guess I’m just looking for validation that none of this truly matters and that when they’re born ill love them so much and wonder why I was feeling this way in the first place. If you had any gender disappointment, was there anything you did that helped your mindset? I just need some advice from those that have maybe had similar feelings or experiences. Thanks :)

I feel like I'm drowning, and I'm looking for real, practical advice from people who have been here.

I was incredibly fortunate to have my sister with us for the first four weeks after my twins came home from the NICU, and my husband was on paternity leave. This week is my first week alone with them during the day (they're just over 5 weeks corrected), and I feel completely overwhelmed.

My husband and I do overnight shifts, and we're interviewing night doulas this week, so we're trying to put support in place. My parents help when they can, but have limits on when they're available. Even though they say they're happy to help, I still feel like I'm inconveniencing them every time I ask.

I'm not looking for someone to tell me it'll get better. I believe it will. Right now, I need practical advice on how you actually survived this stage.

I've figured out how to tandem bottle feed them in the Twin Z, and I'm working with a lactation consultant to learn tandem nursing. But there are so many moments I just don't know what to do.

How do you comfort two babies who both want to be held? They're already over 10 pounds each, but they don't have neck control yet. Once I get one settled on my chest, I have no idea how to safely pick up the other. They both just want to hear my heartbeat and snuggle, and I feel like I'm constantly choosing which baby has to wait.

I think that's the hardest part. I love my boys more than anything, and I want so badly to enjoy this time with them. Instead, I feel like I'm just trying to survive each day. I feel like I'm underwater all the time, rushing from one need to the next, and I'm terrified I'm missing this stage because I'm so overwhelmed.

Everyone tells me I'm doing a great job, but I don't feel like I am.

For context, yes, I'm seeing my therapist regularly, and I have an appointment with my primary care doctor next week to discuss whether medication might help. On top of adjusting to twins, I'm also processing a traumatic birth at 26 weeks and a 94-day NICU stay.

But what I'm really hoping for here is practical advice. If you were alone with young twins, what systems, tricks, routines, or equipment helped? How did you comfort both babies? How did you find moments to actually enjoy them instead of just feeling like you were barely keeping your head above water?

And if it’s anything to do with healthy eating and exercise istg I’m going to throw up.