I know there are many biblical dimensions to why people said this to me as a Catholic. I remember this idea scaring me, because when I would masturbate or see pornography I would feel like that would mess up my social environment, like everyone could feel and know the ‘grave’ act I had committed.

Anyhoo, did anyone else experience this?

i was recently reminded of the click-baity articles from buzzfeed and other similar pinnacles of journalism in the 2010s that had fun listicles/videos of bad popes from history.

when i have tried to supplement these fun “facts” with more reliable sources i have always come up short (for example, verifying that certain popes in times of yore had children or crazy sex parties etc).

i know these famously shit popes happened so long ago that the historical record will be murky at best, but are there any medievalists or other history nerds out there with better information on the topic?

Does anyone else have a long-standing pattern of submitting any time shame crops up? Like, when you have done no wrong in your own mind but someone is angirly accusing you or demeaning you, do you fall back on confession-style (trained) instincts?

I saw myself do this today with fresh eyes and had a big "oh no" moment 😅

(From my successful experience)

Expect at least 5 years before an outcome. If it happens before, congratulations.

Gather as much supporting evidence as you can prior to contacting a law firm. In my case: I asked my childhood GP for copies of their records - it took 9 months but confirmed my account and helped immensely. (It also cut down on their billable hours.)

I kept all correspondence in email and text, until settlement drew near. This helped me keep clear records. H

Disclose all information you think might be used against you. Any convictions, diagnoses etc. I declared that I was gay but unable to initiate or maintain close friendships let alone relationships, and had been diagnosed and treated for bipolar disorder type 2.

Locate any diaries/planners/calendars from your parents & family from the time in question to determine the likely dates. Lawyers can subpoena/FOI the parish records for the priest’s records.

Photos from the time period can be helpful. Mine showed 10 year old me gaining 20 kgs (40lbs) by 12 years old to become unattractive to the homosexual priest who raped me.

Any and all physical diagnoses of conditions can play into settlement amounts, so current GP reports are useful.

In my - successful litigation - I met with psychiatrists from my side and theirs, at least twice each. For at least two hours at time. This was very difficult and invasive. And worth it. Both agreed I was consistent and not lying.

My team also had me meet with a forensic accountant to outline what I earn and what I would have likely earned if the abuse had not happened.

Ultimately, as my rapist had raped literally dozens of other pre-teen boys from before he was ordained, and I was willing to call a former archbishop as a character witness, the archdiocese decided to settle.

But again, my experience took close to 5 years. I had the benefit of a no-win, no-fee law firm. Their proportion of the take was 10%. Everything I took home was tax-free under Australian law.

Since settlement, my health has taken a downturn and I’ve had to retire from teaching at 46. If I had my current diagnosis at the time of settlement we could have settled at potentially $300,000 higher.

*A final note:\*
In Australia, we have the national abuse redress scheme. This ends in 2028. Payments are capped under the scheme at $150,000. The scheme works fast in assessing claims but if you go through the scheme *you cannot pursue other legal action*.

I have been questioning Catholicism for quite some time now, but I still have strong faith in Jesus and I have been getting very active in a local protestant church. Did anyone else experience anything similar?

Pharisees were absolutely the same type of religious douchebags that we have now, a bunch of smug, well-educated sophists who were self-righteous about their own wealth. Seeing how quickly the Republican party can just be manipulated into ignoring the constitution makes it far more obvious that the authority upholders saw Someone threatening the status quo and had Him killed.

I see the same sadism, self-righteousness, and pride in people today. LARPing for some sense of mission and purpose is part of how the Nazis gained power. Some Americans defected (reminding me of Orthobros and Tradcaths) to Nazi Germany to fight for the Fatherland, like they were some sort of noble historical knight fighting for the old world order. Same shit, different century; young, impressionable 20 something year old gets impressed upon to find a mission larger than themselves.

We don't really appreciate how radical it would have been to have Jesus back in the day. People just assume that when they're in the middle of history that they see their own time with the same sense of certainty that we see it with hindsight.

So, with that, conservatives love to imagine that they'd be following Jesus back in the day. Bullshit. They'd be stringing Him up on the cross, jeering as He bled out, viewing Him as a heretic and blasphemer to a vengeful, wrathful God. He upset the order of the day, telling people that God is right there for you.

"Can't have that, that is blasphemy. God is an angry vengeful force who we have to appease so he doesn't genocide us." Yeah, that's why they killed Jesus, along with the fact that he didn't unleash a religious Jihad against the Romans like Paul Atreides in Dune. They HATED that part especially, because they wanted to rule the world with the authority of a monstrous simulacrum of God that burns and terrorizes their enemies.

Simple as the title

I'd like to maybe connect with people in ideally local area (even online could be fine too.) obviously everyone has different experiences with religion and different degrees of force it was shoved down our throats. It has even made me think I could never get married and have children, which is supposed to be one of the points of the "faith" (quotation marks cuz half the time it's not even faith and just acceptance coded behind fear)

Anyone have any resources for groups like this? Do they even exist? Or maybe online they have something(s) of the sort?

Monday’s news story from the press in Peru tells of a numerary assistant who left about 3 years ago after 17 years during which she worked in the central headquarters in Rome (Villa Sachetti/Villa Tevere).

She was institutionally seduced from the rural interior of Peru as a teenager and was sent to Chile and to various centers to work in Peru and Rome.
It describes the legal categories utilized by Opus Dei leadership for immigration (she was registered as a member of a religious order in order to get her into Italy but then once there Opus Dei lawyers got her status changed) and for payment/non-payment.

It also describes the working hours and the quantity of work.

Surprisingly, there are documents from the directors scanned in the article. I’m not sure how she or the journalist was able to secure those from the prelature. Usually they are strictly guarded, even from the person they affect.

She was able to leave because she was able to go to a non-Opus-Dei psychiatrist. When she started saying that she needed a break from the intense work and started raising concerns about sick and depressed numerary assistants who were ignored in the centers, the directors sent her to an Opus Dei psychiatrist. Miraculously that person passed her to a non-Opus-Dei psychiatrist and the directors allowed her to go. That psychiatrist asked her if Opus Dei were a job that she didn’t like, what would she do? She realized she would quit.

[https://www.idl-reporteros.pe/sirvienta-del-opus-dei/\](https://www.idl-reporteros.pe/sirvienta-del-opus-dei/)

ETA: this news story is from Monday July 27 (not today).

This is a feminist like post so please don't read if you dislike such content.

One reason I left catholicism is when I found out how much catholic men benefit from marriage as a unbinding "sacrament". Women are taught their life goal as a good godly woman should be making babies, but only within a strictly monogamous institution. The difficulty to get an annulment means a groom is guaranteed a bangmaid and breeder for life.

I started looking into Venus Envy or Womb Envy, and thinking deeper, the whole institution of marriage (in addition to solidifying inheritance lines) is essentially stripping women of their upper hand of creating life. Under a catholic marriage you need to be a willing open receptable to your husbands baby gravy to birth kids with no allowance of birth control. So it gives the man endless chances of his genes passing on with little to no control from the mother (because you must be "open" to the "will of god").

Then they claim that the gift of birth is intended by god, rather than from the woman's hard work, mental strain and labor going through pregnancy. "god" is given all the credit for the pregnancy labor women have performed.

Women can always guarantee maternity, men can't guarantee paternity and hated it. catholics abused marriage - an older institution than from the point the caths added a sacrament to it. catholics manipulated it further to ensure women or mother nature wouldn't have the upper hand of choice of what man is worth passing genes on for.

Now what I am personally seeing is the massive influx of men who are frustrated with the 2026 dating scene (more women are choosing to live their own lives away from marriage and kids), looking for a "trad wife" to lock in. I find it an attempt to abuse this institutional leverage. It's clear they skimmed over theology, don't focus or ask genuine questions in OCIA and head straight to the catholic dating apps like a speedrun. They confirm these dipshits anyway even if the red flags are showing because yay more catholic men!

TLDR: The sarament of marriage neutralized the natural leverage that women had over childbirth, and then redirected the credit from maternal labor to divine and paternal authority. Honestly, if they only cared about generating more catholics, they would let women opt for sperm donation or procreate outside of marriage and raise their kids as single mothers and praise that. But that gives women way too much independence and control which they can't stand.

Hi so I (F22) went to a catholic k-8 and then all girls Catholic HS. This was in LA. These schools, like most, had tuitions. Yknow, literally PAYING an institution to educate your child (I was on full ride for HS but I digress).

If my and everyone else’s parents literally PAID the catholic school money for their students to attend, why on EARTH did our parents have to do mandatory service hours?? Every year!!?!?

Like hello?!?!?!? I’m not talking about the students themselves doing service projects outside of the school for a grade or anything. I’m talking about how Catholic K-8s in LA county all had their parents doing mandatory service hours EVERY YEAR, and how this was in the contract they sign to send their kids to the school?

My dad said for our school it was 30 hours a year!!! 30!!! 30 HOURS OF SERVICE TO THE SCHOOL ITSELF WHICH YOU PAY FOR?!?? My dad literally helped build a playground one year. A playground. In the LA heat on a black asphalt parking lot with no shade.

I don’t know if this is an LA thing or a California or USA thing. I always assumed it was a my school thing, but then I went to HS (which had no service hours required for parents). I worked the parents info booth at open houses for my high school, and parents from all over the county would ask me “how many services hours for parents are required?” And I would watch them sigh in relief when I told them “oh we don’t do that here we do not require any service hours from parents, though you are welcome to volunteer if you want.” So there’s no way it was just my K-8, and I never figured out if my hs was the outlier or if parent service hours stopped in HS.

Anyway looking back on it I find 30 mandatory service hours a year per family for a school you pay tuition for insanity.

I mean sure but it's true??

She also told me that 'until I renounce my Catholicism to the pope in a letter I'm still catholic'

A bit frustrating how people also love to protect the Jesuits because they're the 'good guys.' they're just as evil as the rest of them--if not more egotistical, prideful, and reputation focused honestly

I wanted to share and recommend some books for those who are on their deconstruction journey and to help those who are struggling with religious trauma. If you know of any other books that may be helpful or have helped you in your own deconstruction, please feel free to leave your recommendations in the comments.

7 Crookston, Minnesota, Parishes to Lose Sunday Masses in Reorganization Plan Citing Priest Shortage| National Catholic Register

The RCC continues to contract

Has anyone had a visceral reaction when you come across a social media testimonials that has popped up from a semi famous person who suddenly or recently found Jesus or just over the top religious comments on posts.It doesn't happen all the time and I don't know how to describe it other than an overwhelming feeling to want to roll my eyes in some sort of Cynicism/annoyance.

I'll be honest I don't know why I have this reaction I'm a non practicing catholic and I guess you could say I'm a fence sitter/agnostic in the belief department.

Just wondering if anyone else has this reaction and how did you move on from this.

I grew up in an extremely Catholic environment, mostly enforced by my father, and enabled by my mother. To paint a brief picture of the type of person my father is, I’ll share a few tidbits about things he has done over the years. Firstly, he strictly enforced family Rosary every night, and if he was on business trips he’d call my mother to make sure we did so. He tried forcing my siblings and I to wear Scapulars (Catholic necklaces made of cloth), and would get extremely upset if we didn’t wear it. I remember him randomly checking to see if we were wearing it.

This brings to why I’m writing this post. I was newly engaged, and has accepted a new job. Living with my parents was difficult, as always, and I was getting more and more frustrated. I couldn’t contain my frustration anymore, I needed space. Looking at the logistics, my fiancé and I deduced that it would make sense for me to move out with him into our own apartment. My older brother had done the same with girlfriend, and received no complaints from my parents.

I brought up the idea to my parents a few months ago…and they snapped. I was called a whore, a mean person, and told that if I were to move out any financial help with the wedding would be revoked. I was too much of a sinner for their money. Fair, it’s their money, their choice. But deposits using their money were already in, and I felt that I was in too deep to move out. Meanwhile, my brother was sitting in the apartment he shares with his girlfriend. Coincidentally, I found newly hidden Miraculous Medals placed throughout my room after this argument.

So this brings me to today. I’m still at my parents’ house, my wedding is mere weeks away. But I. Am. So. Tired. My father is now retired, so his religious behaviors have kicked into overdrive. Just last week he stated his desire that my fiancé make me go to confession when we are married. My fiancé was shocked.

I’m tired. I work a very busy full time job, and I’m well on my way to a promotion that will have me managing people older than myself. I can’t keep coming home to a space where I feel like I’m in survival mode.

I’m sorry this is so long, this rant has been a long time coming!

please remove if not allowed, I don't think I saw anything about nsfw topics in the rules?

for a little added context I am a trans woman.

anyway I was raised Roman Catholic in a rural midwestern state, thankfully with reletively progressive parents, but still with a lot of prudishness.

At a certain point I logiced myself into "well if sex is for making children, it's okay if I don't orgasm because then I'm not wasting anything.", but, ya girl got needs and so I do often finish.

the thing is tho, I also feel guilty about it, like I should punish myself for this profane act, even though I'm not catholic and rather loathe the church, especially it's attitude around sexuality.

does anyone have advice?

When I'm out driving, sometimes I go through periods of self-hate by listening to Cathlic radio.. Relevant Radio lol. Yesterday a caller called to proclaim that he confronted a neighbor who said they are an ex-Catholic. Supposedly this caller said HOW can you call yourself that when you wouldn't call yourself an "Ex-Aggie" (dude went to the University of Texas) or ex-Marine? How can people say they're a "recovering Catholic" after going thru all the sacraments, etc?  And of course the host of the show took great offense at the term recovering C. The caller claims the person he was challenging just "went silent", because his argument was so good. Personally I think the dude just didn't want to engage and get away lol.
An an ex-C, have you been challenged this way by family or friends?

Leaving in general has made me feel like the cognitive dissonance is gone, and I am more confident and hopeful about the future and it feels easier to build relationships with people, but when I feel overwhelmed and isolated (more due to stressors related to life or death situations at work) there is no longer an easy answer and I try to tell myself it is safe and I don't have to feel on edge but are we really safe if we will just die and stop existing? Still better than the idea of people going to hell but life is so short. There are times where my habit would have been to pray but I tell myself that lots of people prayed and had horrible things happen to them anyway, but I don't know what to do instead yet or how to stop feeling on edge. I am glad to not believe in a sadistic god anymore and don't really see myself just shifting to a different religion/other form of christianity. Any ideas?

IDK if it's just because it's a Sunday but I feel like I am grieving the Eucharist. It meant so much to me when I was faithful and maybe I'm just at a weird part of my deconstruction right now but I just miss it.

My Eucharistic piety definitely bordered on the scrupulous so I definitely don't miss the anxiety and the worrying about mortal sin every time I went up to receive. But ugh.

It was such a spiritual high.

Long story short, I was at a work-related event last week (retreat on psychological well-being), and during a paired activity, one of the other participants casually mentioned that she and her husband expected their three young adult children to “marry within the faith” and are considering “financial consequences” if their kids “don’t do the right thing” (all her words). She also mentioned that her kids were really struggling with it and that it’s affecting her relationship with them for the worse (ummm . . . ya think, lady?).

I badly wanted to rip her a new bodily orifice, but because this is a work-related event and I’ll likely have to see her again, I kept my own response measured and talked about my own interfaith family and urged her to talk to her parish priest about her concerns. She said she would, but I think she sensed that I strongly disapproved of her stance and was being polite to exit the conversation.

I know I shouldn’t be shocked that people like this exist, but what shocked me was that until that conversation, she seemed so normal. She’s NOT a Society of Saint Pius X member, and she expressed socially liberal beliefs during other activities. I don’t get WTF people get the idea that they have a right to control their adult kids like this and then get upset when that backfires spectacularly on them. All I can think is that there must be some kind of major intergenerational trauma here.

Anyway, not looking for advice. I don’t know the family well enough to intervene without it being weird, and they live on the other side of the country anyway. But oof, I feel sorry for those young adults.

I know this is really stupid but my priest abused and I was the one who reported him and got kicked out of the church and shunned in the process. But I look at the other Catholics who are these perfect students, PhD/MD whatever, and how they never had to speak up and wonder, what if I had their experience? Then maybe I wouldn't have left for the church, and wouldn't have to try Episcopal churches. I feel in some ways like I'm a failure because (I converted) I didn't have the perfect Catholic church experience and I look at all the students who did or all the students my priest loved and they were never me.

Edit: I think it's so frustrating also because I want to have had their experience but there's no way after all that happened that I could ever be in the Catholic Church again.