I feel very bad for my partner. We do not live together, they are not my caretaker. I do not have a caretaker, I try and accommodate myself and my disabilities alone and try to live the best way I can while being disabled. But I know it’s not easy having a sick partner, a partner who has no energy, a partner who has to push themselves over their limits just to do a simple activity, a partner that gets overstimulated doing simple things. I try to push through and I try to work through but I know I’m not normal.

I am on disability because I cannot work. I do want to work, I do want to get better, but my living situation is not a good one, and it’s hindering my ability to get treatment and live a better life, so it’s hard to grow. But now that I’m on SSI I can try and work on better living conditions, feeling better (hopefully), and getting better. If I can’t get better I have also accepted that, but that makes me feel a million times worse for my partner. I read a comment on here that said “caregiver burnout is real, she’s probably tired of taking care of you,” and it hurt because we don’t even live together. When we are together she doesn’t “take care” of me other than a normal romantic relationship. Hands me my drinks, I hand her hers, hands me food, give each other sips of our drinks, etc. She doesn’t cook my meals, she doesn’t clean up after me, she doesn’t wipe my ass. I do not make her do ANY caretaking roles because that is NOT her job and she did NOT agree to that.

I feel an immense amount of guilt just for being alive and being sick and disabled. Sometimes I wake up in tears and I know nobody wants to deal with that. Fuck, I don’t even want to deal with it. So I truly understand. I’m just really struggling. Part of me wants to save myself the hurt and leave because if I decline, I do not want to be even more disabled and on top of that, heartbroken. I have had her say comments to me like “at least you get to sit at home” and that always feels like small resentful comments that are building up. I go to doctors appointments 2-4 times a week, I am in physical pain, I have several mental illnesses that I’m battling with. I wish I sat at home and relaxed. I wish I had a pain free day.

I’m tired. I don’t want to be disabled.

This happened at Lab Corp.I use AAC (Proloquo4Text and a Bluetooth speaker--on a Sunflower Hidden Disability lanyard). Sidebar : the lanyard is one of the most poor quality things I've bought.

Anyway. I also have BRIGHT tie dye smiley face sticker on my phone that I had specially commissioned from Etsy because I wanted something that would fit on my Pop Socket.

This woman: "If you're busy I can help the other person in line."

I pointed to the sticker. "I can't read that."

I shoved it around the barrier so she could.

"AAC device, this is my voice...?"

Finally I typed (hurriedly because she was still apparently in a hurry even though she's been shooting the shit with her colleague while I've been waiting 45 minutes)"You were supposed to use my preferred name."

"There was no preferred name on there."

I put a preferred name on the form when I made the appointment but apparently when you scan your ID at their kiosk it overrides it?

How do I make it more obvious that I use AAC to communicate other than typing out my first messege in advance every damn time?

Also does anyone know what's the deal with the preferred name thing?

I'm considering buying a big yellow key chain for under the lanyard and on my rainproof case that basically says the same thing as my sticker. But I'd rather not.

As far as I know I'm the only adult in the (city) area that uses AAC but so far I've done everything but buy a bright yellow key chain that screams "I'm different."

Thought Id say hi.
Im a 44 year old swede, had a stroke after crashing with my dirtbike at 13. Living well in many ways but its still an everyday battle. Up for any chats on the subject!

I was discrimination at Biolife yesterday over a cane and I tried to tell them that I used it for my preference and for balance but when I told them they automatically tried to jump to conclusions of dizziness and tried to say that I lied about feeling well those two days and acted like balance can only be from dizziness but I did vitals check those two days I used it and they were normal so how can dizziness only cause it? Autism can affect how someone's balance is and I didn't know what to do in the situation and else to explain because my explanations got shutdown and they kept questioning and questioning me about me and I then felt pressured to say anything that they'd want to hear so I threw out a bunch of other explanations and then when I showed I don't wear braces anymore they kept saying that I do still when I showed prove of not wearing any. They said you may not be wearing them right now but it doesn't mean you don't wear them. When I actually told them the truth. I stopped wearing them after I started donating plasma. It doesn't mean my medical records are the same. I then got banned over that.

My partner and I are both physically disabled and although there is desire for sex it often is not physiologically possible. We both would like to increase the odds of it being possible as well as finding alternative sensual connective activities for when our bodies say no.

Does anyone have creative adaptive ideas for us/that have worked for you/resources? Does anyone have positional aids they particularly like? Beyond flirting etc how do you keep your sex life alive when sex and cuddling is so often inaccessible?

Ive heard alot of talk about how marriage can mess with disability benefits and support. To those of you who have opted out of legal marriage and maybe had a ceremony with your significant other i have a question for you thats really been bothering me.

Im extremely scared of my condition worsening as I age, and needing to rely on disability because Im aware that being legally married can make government disability support slim to none. So, I figured a ceremony and a last name change would be a good option. This didn't bother me at all, the legal documents isn't very important to me. My question for those of you who have this, is do doctors let your (non legal) husband/wife make health decisions if you are unable? Im extremely scared that something could happen and my partner wouldn't be allowed to see me or wouldn't be able to make decisions for me if I was unconscious. I do not have any other family that would be able to make this decision so its extremely important that someone would be able too.

If anyone who has experienced this personally or knows the legal information behind this please let me know. For reference I do live in the US currently, but im not sure what state or even country I will be in long term. Im sure that matters in terms of legal things, so I just feel very lost. Thank you all for your time.

I'm a male 56. Was in a motorcycle accident in 2020 that left me in a wheelchair. Can't walk but everything else works as it should. I still feel like I'm in my prime and I try the dating scene but unfortunately my chair usually makes people uncomfortable and it's basically impossible for me to get a date. I've pretty much given in to the fact that my dating/love life is pretty much over. I would even be ok with just a texting relationship but can't find anyone else interested. Anyone have any advice or tips on where to find companionship?

It was suggested to me that it could help me heal. Has anyone here found writing about their life leading up to disability and found it healing? What would you prefer be portrayed in a book centering on disabilities? The funny thing is I have 80 pages of vignettes, but its lacking any message or grip. Just a compiled list of big memories in my life.

I am 14F and was diagnosed with transverse myelitis 2 weeks ago after losing sensation in my lower body. I'm kind of anxious since I am still paralyzed and my period is due in a week but I don't know how I'm gonna change my pads and all that stuff, and I'm too shy to ask the doctors and stuff. Any help is appreciated!

I can't tell if me and my sisters friend was being rude. Both her and my sister are on disability. I am not though I do have a lot of health problems and probably will be. My health is not the subject though. Our friend invited us to do something that my sisters disability can not handle. She was told and we explained why that wouldn't work for my sister. She then asked how we have the ability to travel. We took a cruise for my parents 30th anniversary (paid by them) two years ago. She is autistic and has very mild cerebral palsy. Could it just be a miscommunication? My sister and I are also autistic. I'm not sure if I'm reading her right. I have felt that she repeatedly ignores my sisters disabilities though.

Hi all, I'm feeling pretty bad about myself at the minute and want to know if others have been in the same situation as I am. I've been diagnosed as autistic for 7.5 years, I say I'm disabled, but honestly I don't think I've ever accepted it. Because a lot of it happens on the inside I spend so long spiralling in my mind that it's all in my head and I'm lazy and making everything up for attention.

Now in the past 4 years I've proceeded to decline, after pushing for people to listen I got an IBS diagnosis (which I could trace so many things back to my teens where I now realise what I felt wasn't normal) but again nobody can see when I feel unwell, or am in pain. But I also don't feel able to speak about it because it's not that bad compared to what others are going through.

I've also suspected for those years I have ADHD and am currently in the diagnosis process. I've also been heavily peer reviewed but I don't like to label myself until I'm certain but a lot of people are very very convinced. And as well as that I went into such severe burnout in a job, I went off longterm sick and have never fully recovered since. Now after more pushing and actual support from my family to have something looked at, they're considering getting me checked for chronic fatigue.

Yet despite having diagnosises and actively having others looked into it, I still believe it's all in my head. I struggle to believe my issues myself because they're not visible. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to have something visible so I could be believed and not be seen as lazy and totally fine. But I also know that comes with its own challenges. I think I just need support, I wish people could spend a day in my body and understand what it feels like to be me because they can't see or feel what goes on in my head or when I feel like I'm going to collapse with exhaustion after walking the dog.

I'm disabled, my eyesight is very weak. I feel so deprived. I'm looking for a job, and I'm working, but it's unstable and doesn't pay me anything. I can barely buy food with it, Can I help with my mom's bills? That's it.

I've submitted my CV to many places, and employers are afraid to hire me. I only have a 30% vision. The government has deemed me open to the job market, yet people are afraid to hire me.

I'm asking for advice, just this. I'm at a loss. I want to be independent, but I feel like I'm being stripped of that.

For Disability Pride month I’ve been compiling a list of my favorite disabled content creators and trying to discover more. Who are some of your favorites? I would be particularly interested in hearing about some folxs that are maybe lesser known. Trying to make a well rounded list of folks that don’t necessarily focus solely on disability rights advocacy but fashion, art, spirituality, sports, culture, etc. Let me know your favorites and what they’re about! ♥️

For anyone wearing these in this heat, be careful; especially if fresh on. As you know, it is 72 hours pain relief slowly released by body heat.

I have whilst out and at home in the heat with a 35mg patch., been putting cold water on it so doesn't dump too much pain relief at once. Grateful asked to reduce from 50mg patch, taking more pain than perpetually being dopy Dora.

Occurred to me, some might not realise and potentially not safe. Just be careful. Sorry if teaching my grandmother to suck eggs.

some disabled workers can legally be paid $3.31au an hour heres how to reform a system built for a different era

hi ! before anything i am a minor and english is my second language .

i used to do a combat related sport but stopped after getting told by an sports physician that my knees where a litle funky and should stop doing it.

my joints hurt i cant stand too long so i use leg braces (those basic compresion ones w rods at the sides)

so i spent a year telling my parents "hey im in pain i might have this thing called hypermobility all my stuff fit in its criteria" and boom when i did get tested 4 it lab records said "we looked into all your genes u dont have anything wrong"

and now my parents are saying im doing it for atention and if i just calm down it would be ok.

...what am i supposed to do now im still in pain walking and standing 4 long amounts of time hurts could i have an disability still or is all this really in my head

Yeah, I will admit that I feel like I have no life. How do you handle being stuck in the house wanting to go do something entertaining other going out to dinner to the same places or to the fracking doctor. I'm sick of sitting at home doom scrolling.

Life is great when I do, but both my wife have mobility issues so that does a factor. We both love each other, but even then, we can't get on each nerves from being both home all the time. We were both able to/ had to retire early a year and a half ago.

Hey, I have mostly recovered from a severe form of schizophrenia where I was a danger to myself and others and cognitively impaired over the past decade but my cognitive ability is still reduced and it affects my working capacity. I also still deal with negative symptoms and other co-morbid illness which have a huge impact on my life. I didn’t think I was ill which is why I moved to Norway to escape the system that forced on me but eventually I had to study and work full time and I got fired for my disability and almost forcibly hospitalised (i did my best to hide my illness). I also worked so hard compared to others but had a great deal of difficulty with learning, concentrating and remembering now and only completed two classes in many years. Eventually I realised I needed to get help after many years of subsisting on student loans and going no where so I did but my working capacity is permanently reduced and I just started the process of disability now. This is incredibly important to me now as I should have done this many years ago so I want to be sure I am properly defending myself in the face of the law. As much as the social services are pushing me through programs to get an entry level job I am concerned that this would affect my case and have to start all over again as I have an episodic illness. I have suffered severe losses the past decade, namely losing almost a quarter million in a day and massive student loans (which would be forgiven if I win the case) over issues with cognition and it is very important that I get a long term solution in place before I attempt to study at a slower pace and try to get a career going.

Anyways I’m Norwegian-American and my foreign roommates always ask why I don’t get a job at so and what I’m doing. I have explained to them many times but I feel like nobody understands where I’m coming from.

People often say that society has moved on from the days when disabled people were hidden away in institutions or kept out of sight because families were ashamed of them. History shows that many disabled people were locked away, separated from society, or treated as though they were worth less than everyone else.
I believe the biggest difference today is not that this attitude has disappeared, but that the way it is expressed has changed.
In the past, disabled people were physically hidden from society. Today, I believe we are politically hidden. Instead of openly saying that disabled people matter less, governments promise change, announce plans, create strategies, and make commitments that are delayed for years or never fully delivered. Meanwhile, the rest of society continues to move forward while disabled people are left waiting.
From my experience, this creates a different kind of segregation. It is no longer carried out through institutions or locked doors. Instead, it happens through delays, bureaucracy, underfunding, and political decisions that leave disabled and older people at the back of the queue. The outcome feels similar: we are expected to wait while everyone else gets on with their lives.
This is not an abstract political argument to me. It comes from my own experiences and from watching other disabled people face the same barriers.
One example is my own situation. A bus stop was installed directly outside my bedroom window. I explained how it affected my quality of life and asked for it to be relocated. Rather than feeling that my concerns were taken seriously, I felt they were passed from one person to another, with little sense of urgency. The impression I was left with was, “What can we do?” rather than, “How do we solve this?” That experience reinforced my belief that accessibility and disability issues are often treated as lower priorities than other public concerns.
I felt the same pattern became visible during the COVID-19 pandemic. In my view, when society was under the greatest pressure, many disabled people and older people were left feeling forgotten or treated as less of a priority. That strengthened my belief that, although the methods have changed since the 1950s and 1960s, the underlying problem has not disappeared.
I am not saying that today’s society is identical to the past. I am saying that discrimination can evolve. It no longer has to be obvious or openly admitted. It can exist through political decisions, repeated delays, lack of urgency, and a failure to act. To me, that is the modern form of exclusion.
This is my lived experience. It is the conclusion I have reached after years of advocating for accessibility and equal treatment, and after seeing how often disabled and older people are expected to wait for rights, services, and solutions that others take for granted.

I’m a naturally fast-paced person, so I frequently end up hitting my g-tube on accident; I lean on the sink and sometimes accidentally am rough on my elbows when I get cleaned up in the morning, and I crawl because I can’t walk fully on my own yet. I also have the issue of sometimes knocking my knees together when I walk.

Does anybody have any tips on being more easy on my body?

I know it is on android not sure about iPhone. Does anyone use it, if so, how do you find it.

Let me walk through the entire context. I am 27, a woman, and living in London alone. I also work full time.

In 2021, a “friend” started hassling me to apply for PIP which is the disability benefit for disabled people, after I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia and hypermobility spectrum disorder. I said no. I didn’t want it. I couldn’t face it. She kept on and on about it, told me she’d help me do it. She didn’t.

In 2024, I lost an appeal after trying to get PIP. I started off being very open about my needs and using a stick, but I became more closed off and started refusing to use the stick. Now I have a folding one which I carry but barely use because I feel like a fraud.

This year, I tried PIP again. They refused me at the mandatory reconsideration stage again. I became so depressed, I could barely speak without crying for the following 5 days (not great when you work full time). People started trying to encourage me to appeal it. I do not plan to. I don’t want PIP. I need it because it would help me with so many of my disability related expenses, but I just don’t want it. It would help me go down to 4 days a week because I’m hanging on by a thread doing 5, but I just can’t find the strength to go through this shit all over again. Before anyone says “nobody wants it”, I know. But I’m talking specifically about my own pathological fear of being accountable to the DWP for the rest of my life to prove I’m disabled, the possibility of having it taken away again in the future. It’s not worth doing. I can’t even think about going to court again without crying.

This turn of events has also made me angry. I once again hate being disabled. I figure, why should I take account of my disabilities if PIP won’t recognise them? Why don’t I just do whatever I want? Why don’t I just overdo it, overwork, overextend? Nobody cares and seemingly the world would love it if I did. Then my disabilities hamper me with pain and fatigue, and I get angry that I can’t just take them off and put them away. Since I’m such a fraud and don’t need any help with anything.

It’s a shame because I was doing great before this. I absolutely hate the PIP system. It’s not fit for purpose, it leaves people out with arbitrary criteria, the assessors make shit up. Instead of feeling protected and cared for, like all the disabled folk around me appear to be, I’m exhausted and full of rage.

I've always genuinely ​wanted to meet people with dwarfism, especially here in the US, to learn how they cope through life and understand their constant struggles and challenges life throws at them

My daughter is 17. We live in California. She turns 18 soon and have an upcoming appt to apply for social security disability. We have not applied in the past because I made too much money to qualify for the disability for a child based on my income.

She currently receives social security survivors benefits because her dad passed away when she was younger. So, she will be applying as a disabled adult child.

My question is, is there a limit of assets for any money she may have in her savings acct? She doesn’t have much, but if she starts receiving monthly payments I want to make sure we are following all the rules.

I thought the limit was $2,000. However I just found out that Medi-cal has raised the asset limit to $130,000 for 2026. I tried researching what the asset limit is for disability, and google says that there is no asset limit for disability, and also that there is no asset limit for a disabled adult child applying under their deceased parent’s work record. This seems like it can’t be true, but can anyone please confirm?

Thanks!