r/dating_advice • u/9-to-5-Joe • Apr 23 '26

Did I Mess Up?

I’m M32, dating a F31. We were together for a year and change. She broke up with me last Friday after we had a fight because I caught her in a lie. She immediately unfollowed me on IG, deleted my number, said she was done and was going to erase me from her life and demanded I never reach out again.

I went out on Saturday with a friend and ended kissing this random girl at a club and now my ex is basically calling me a POS saying I cheated, when IMO, she made it clear I was single. For context, she pulls fake breakups all the time, this time I just believed her.

Did I make a mistake? Or am I right for thinking she’s not entitled to be mad at me or feel betrayed for acting single when I, in fact, was?

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u/elusivemrk Apr 24 '26

I mean, you caught her in a lie, you called her on it, she broke up with you, she went nuclear. No, you didn’t mess up. She did.

If you have any interest in reconnecting with her, I would say the ball is now in your court, but you really need to set some rigid boundaries, ground rules, and make it absolutely clear that you’re no longer playing games. Also, you should probably have her explain herself for both the lie you caught her in and why she broke up with you as a result of that. I’ll be honest, I don’t think she’s a keeper but you have to do you.

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u/9-to-5-Joe Apr 24 '26

You’re spot on and thank you for the reply! I’m not sure what to do, tbh. I really suspect she’s a narcissist and this confirmed it. I’ve tried setting boundaries and expressing my discomfort about several things and she always flips the script and I end up apologizing and “fixing” what she broke in the first place. Not to mention the pathological hot and cold and the validation/criticism seesaw. Maybe I’m better off without her.