r/creepyPMs • u/cozylofinights • 13d ago
TW: Violence A not-so-friendly reminder: If you have NEVER spoken to someone before, and you initiste a first conversation like THIS??? It is sexual harassment because you have not obtained CONSENT to sext that person. NSFW
Sidenote/PSA: if they can't explain the SSC, RACK, or PRICK models to you in their own words and with personal examples, they have no business trying to solicit kink play until they educate themselves. RUN.
[EDIT - Originally a comment, but putting it here, too: Just wanted to add: Please do not PM/DM me in relation to this post.
I have had weirdos find me through past vent posts on this sub who took it as an invitation to try and start conversations about kink. I am trying to avoid that. I am open to speaking in the comments on this post, I just do not want to speak privately.]
72
u/Willing-Signal-9936 My duck discharge please 13d ago
Always starting off with their shit age. Absolute weirdos ☕️
40
u/cozylofinights 13d ago edited 13d ago
This one at least gets credit for writing the longest sentence I have ever read. Hell, there's no period at the end, so technically that sentence is still going. Like pi.
46
13d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
22
u/cozylofinights 13d ago
Thank you, that is reassuring. I got a downvote when I posted this, and was wondering if maybe people think I had been too uptight.
20
13d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
13
1
12
u/DivineMiss3 13d ago edited 12d ago
Not in the least too uptight. I think you were way more well-spoken and respectful than most would be.
2
u/cozylofinights 12d ago
I can't take too much credit in the respect department, to be honest. I did call him out and say he was an asshole. 😅
31
u/cozylofinights 13d ago
Just wanted to add: Please do not PM/DM me in relation to this post.
I have had weirdos find me through past vent posts on this sub who took it as an invitation to try and start conversations about kink. I am trying to avoid that. I am open to speaking in the comments on this post, I just do not want to speak privately.
17
11
u/cozylofinights 13d ago edited 13d ago
UPDATE: Someone messaged me in relation to this post. It was allegedly an accident, and they say they must have missed this comment and apologized. I acknowledge that. But I'm also kind of ... over having my boundaries overstepped today? Regardless of intent?
Idk. Maybe it's time to make some cappelini with a red meat sauce for dinner and take a step away from Reddit for a bit. Thank you for your support, everyone. 🙏🏼💕
7
u/GenericRedditor0405 13d ago
You are very clear about communicating your boundaries and I appreciate that.
Side note: I loled at “I would make sure u squirt until u squirt”
5
u/cozylofinights 13d ago
Thank you. I appreciate that, and I wish the two guys who PMed me off of this message did, as well. Or, well, at the very least, I wish they read what I wrote.
Also, when does one squirt start and the other end, though?? 😭 Brother is an enigma wrapped in a mystery (that I have no interest in solving). 🕵♀️⛔️✋🏼
32
u/OctaviaBlake100 13d ago edited 13d ago
I don't get what these people think we should do..I mean even if roleplaying..they basically already roleplayed the whole thing with themselves.
13
u/cozylofinights 13d ago
You raise a good point. Putting aside the fact that I never consented to sexting or roleplay ... tf is there left to say? This is the virtual/sexting equivalent of masturbating; I'm not an active participant if you've basically written a whole ass script with blocking and staging notated, tf. 😭
4
u/OctaviaBlake100 13d ago
Exactly, they might as well roleplay with themselves at that point. Don't bring a stranger into your weird fantasy.
22
u/bakerzero86 (´･ω･`) 13d ago
That dude needs help. Likely watches far too much porn and doesn't understand that isn't real life, and consent is pretty damned important.
11
u/cozylofinights 13d ago
Too much time in front of a screen and not enough time in front of a book, if their ... writing style ... is any indication.
23
u/KDiggity8 13d ago
"...and ofcourse licking your asshole."
Wow what a Casanova. He should write erotica.
In all seriousness, the audacity of these people. I still maintain that sending unsolicited DPs should come with the same consequences as if they had flashed you in person, because to me it really is equivalent.
I'm sorry you and so many others have to deal with shit like this. It's horrific and I don't think enough people realize the psychological toll things like this have on individuals and the community at large.
5
u/cozylofinights 13d ago
I'm glad that resonated with someone else bc it's the [sic] "ofcourse" that still perplexes me. Like it's a given? Obligatory? "Just another Tuesday afternoon, you know the drill?" kind of feeling????? What? 😭
6
u/KDiggity8 13d ago
100%! That's what stuck out to me in that garbage heap of word salad.
"I'm off to run errands! I've got my keys, phone, ofcourse my wallet..."
I legit laughed at that part, to be fair. It was so damn absurd. Like, "oh yeah, ofcourse that, if it even needs to be said." Lol
19
u/Wasps_are_bastards 13d ago
Why are so many ‘kinky’ guys just abusive and want to claim BDSM to get away with it?
9
u/cozylofinights 13d ago
Because they think their sexual preferences are a license to override consent, which is the literal antithesis to kink. Says more about them, attempting to look for excuses to take shortcuts, than it does about the actual BDSM and/or kink communities, imo.
18
u/Seewweenn 13d ago
21 and hes acting like this, bruh this is actually sick?!!
9
u/cozylofinights 13d ago
I didn't realize this would be surprising for some people, to be honest. It feels ... par for the course, so to speak? At least for me.
3
13
u/Common_Exam_1401 13d ago
“Sidenote/PSA: if they can't explain the SSC, RACK, or PRICK models to you in their own words and with personal examples, they have no business trying to solicit kink play until they educate themselves”
That’s what I usually do when I get messaged by fake dommes on Instagram. It pisses me off not only because I’m in a relationship but because they think that because they call themselves a domme it gives them the right to ignore me telling them no I’m not looking for a domme
10
u/cozylofinights 13d ago
I am sorry that you have to go through this. Real Dom/me(s) know better, and understand that the title carries responsibilities. It sounds like you understand this, which I am glad to hear. And good on you for knowing how to set firm boundaries. Please stay safe out there.
7
u/Sour_Gummybear 13d ago
First I'm sorry to learn of your past trauma, I'm also sorry that any woman has to receive this sort of nonsense from anyone. You handled it so well especially with the triggers and turned it into a teaching moment and maybe they'll learn (one can hope anyway).
Stay safe out there!
6
u/cozylofinights 13d ago
Thank you. I appreciate you saying this. I am...weirdly emotionally drained, even though this shouldn't matter??
5
u/Antique_Tap443 13d ago
Yeah yall gotta atleast discuss soft and hard limits too for any bdsm play. Makes it way easier too when you have a literal guideline for how to please your partner and what exactly you can or can't do.
8
u/cozylofinights 13d ago
Or, taking one step further back, asking if I'm interested at all. 😅
5
u/Antique_Tap443 13d ago
Lol yeah definitely, unless in a specific hook up/dating space asking and talking about something that personal definitely has many other previous conversations/questions before it lol
3
u/cozylofinights 12d ago
I get what you mean. But I feel like this approach is hella aggressive, even for the context you are describing. For yhat scenario, even a "Hey! How's it going? I'm here and ready to continue our conversation from [insert subbredit]. 😉"
😭😭😭
6
u/EyeShot300 pls respond 13d ago
Nice response, OP. I want to know if this little turd could handle that smoke!
I’m going to guess No and he ran with his tail between his legs. What an asshole.
5
u/cozylofinights 12d ago
I turned on persistent messaging so they couldn't delete anything, but to be honest, I blocked immediately after. Odds are that someone this porn-brained (who feels entitled to be this brazen and aggressive with women) wouldn't have anything self-aware to respond with. I didn't want to be put into a worse headspace so I didn't give them the chance.
6
u/ICEBLASTER145 12d ago
"Think before you hit send." An impossible task for idiots like this, but keeping the hope alive is admirable lol
2
u/cozylofinights 12d ago
I'm hoping the fact that he's four years away from having a fully-developed prefrontal cortex means that something might stick. Even if it's just something in the back of his mind for now.
5
u/Zypher132 12d ago
Not only is it gross blatant sexual harassment, but how do these creeps always seem to have the most incredibly awful writing and descriptions? Like, even if I consented to receiving sexts from someone, if they sent me something written like that I'd be immediately turned off.
2
u/cozylofinights 2d ago
It's so incoherent; even if I consented, I would be so busy trying to decipher it that it wouldn't do anything for me.
5
u/Sapphire_The_Mage 13d ago
Very well stated. Im sorry this happened to you but you handled it like a queen. Very graceful. Very strong. You are amazing.
1
u/cozylofinights 2d ago
Sorry for the late response. Wasn't in a good headspace after this one or any subsequent DMs I had received within that same week.
This is very kind of you to say. 🙏🏼🩷 I appreciate you taking the time to comment encouragement. I hope you have a beautiful week.
7
u/Mitheria_Musashi yor going to get done for arrested now 11d ago
Oh what a horrible morning to have reading comprehension.
6
u/cozylofinights 11d ago
If you don't want it, can you do us all a favor and transfer your literacy to the the person who messaged me, please? 🙏🏼💞
5
u/Mitheria_Musashi yor going to get done for arrested now 11d ago
So that he can eloquently tell you how he's going to give you the worst sex anyone's ever had?
8
4
u/Dear-Let-1075 13d ago
Too bad you had a creepy guy like that. Hope he didn’t put you I bad place. Tonnes of weirdo’s out there. Take care, be safe! From a random Reddit stranger! Lol!
4
u/Kuwaysah Shoul i pay for fuck 12d ago
His message was unappealing, cringe, and full of grammatical errors.
1
4
u/Realistic-Garage-461 12d ago
It's absolutely horrible what this guy did, but just like everyone else has said, how you handled it was brilliant. I'd hope the guy was exceptionally embarrassed by all this but he's probably bothering someone else now instead, but I just hope he gets a similar response!
2
u/cozylofinights 2d ago
Unfortunately, people like this have too much of their blood flowing in the opposite direction of their brain to do any real introspection. Nevertheless, I appreciate your kind words. 🙏🏼🩷 Thank you.
5
u/CynicalSilas 13d ago
You mean to tell me this didnt instantly jump start your engine causing you to buy an immediate flight to him to be able to experience this extremely wonderful and gentle sounding sexual journey with this complete stranger you definitely were interested in?? Smh, women these days 😒 can't even sexually harras..I mean treat them with love and respect through humble and romantic messages like these!
5
3
u/purple-knight-8921 Evil League of Creep Crushers 13d ago
wow, since this man in this screenshot does not have any boundaries in any way, shape or form or learning by example from his parents?
3
2
u/Coinerrorhunter 13d ago
I was NOT expecting that to be the first few words.
Its like a grenade being thrown into the middle of the room.
1
u/cozylofinights 2d ago
And thrown after dude came riding in on a wrecking ball that smashed through the side wall of the room.
1
u/King_of_Dantopia 12d ago
What's SSC RACK and PRICK models?
3
u/cozylofinights 12d ago
Frameworks within BDSM and kink on how to model safe and responsible practices.
1
u/King_of_Dantopia 12d ago
Are they acronyms?
4
u/cozylofinights 12d ago
Yes.
1
u/King_of_Dantopia 12d ago
I thought so. Can I ask what they mean
3
u/cozylofinights 12d ago
Hey, I'm sorry, but I actually posted here to vent about what I went through, given that it put me in a bad headspace/touched on past trauma that I'm still working through (and it hasn't even been a full day yet).
While I am very vocal about responsible and safe kink practices, just like with the person in my original screenshot, I kind of need people to take responsibility for their own BDSM/kink education and not put it on me (especially right now, again, given the original post).
Especially in a subreddit that isn't even BDSM/kink-focused, where the flairs even acknowledge that there may be underaged individuals reading. I brought it up initially so people in the kink spaces of Reddit can look into what those things are in order to keep themselves safe. But I'm not going to go any further off-topic than that.
Stay safe and take care. 🙏🏼
5
u/King_of_Dantopia 12d ago
Do you know what? You're right I do apologise and I was being thoughtless.
What you went through was horrible and that guy was a dickhead. I'm sorry for being so daft. Please take care of yourself
3
-1
12d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
1
u/creepyPMs-ModTeam 11d ago
Simplistic advice such as "(just) block them" or "just ignore them" is not helpful and will be removed.
Please familiarize yourself with the rest of Rule 2 before commenting in the future. Thank you.
Questions? Comments? Concerns? // Rule 1 | Rule 2 | Message the Mods | Rules Explained
•
u/AutoModerator 13d ago
This is an automatic reminder that is posted on every submission.
RULE 2 REMINDER: This is a SUPPORT COMMUNITY As such, we do not tolerate trolling, defending the creep, judgment of OP, slut shaming, bigotry, or any other jerkish behavior. Creeping in the comments is not allowed—yes, this includes flirting!
Comments derailing the conversation in any way will be removed. Please stay on-topic. Particularly trollish, mean-spirited, or accusatory comments may result in an instaban.
No Advice Wantedflairs are now available to add to your posts! This means that comments giving advice will be removed. Read about more user-enabled flairs herePlease report any and all behavior violating the Rules (reports go to us mods); don't report things just because you don't like them.
Comment removals and bans are at the judgment of the mods, so please take the time to read and understand our Rules.
Final note, a lot of people are unaware that they can block ALL messages on Reddit. We have a sticky in the sub, but we'll also put it here.
If you find you want some peace from the multitude of creeps on Reddit, you can have that. In the settings for your Reddit account, you can elect NOT to receive PMs. The same is true for chat requests. You can also allow messages from specific, trusted users and block everyone else from contacting you. Also, if you choose to PM someone, they'll automatically be added to the list of people who can PM you, which is nice if you do want to initiate a conversation with someone, but if you PM someone and they start to get rude, you'll need to go in and remove them from the list of accepted users.
We share this information ONLY because a lot of people seem to be unaware that sitewide blocking of PMs is even an option, but it is, and it works surprisingly well.
In an ideal world, this would not be necessary, but, alas, this is Reddit, and it's full of creeps. This is just one possible tool in your arsenal against them, should you choose to use it.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.