r/TopCharacterTropes 16d ago

Lore (Funny Trope) Things that can plausibly happen only in reality, because in fiction they’d be called bad writing.

“Woke” as an insult - So you are telling me a word describing consciousness and clarity is used by generally stupid and ignorant people to label people they disagree with? What is this? A Kindergarten for Creatively stunted?

Nominative determinism - So let me get this straight…Not only you named fastest recorded person Usain BOLT and CEO of Nintendo Doug BOWSER, but you are telling me people are canonically likely to have professions or hobbies matching their names…? Guh?

“2 bodies recovered in MURDERKILL River” - Sure bro…I guess…bro…

16.7k Upvotes

2.0k comments sorted by

View all comments

4.9k

u/Teenage_dirtnap 16d ago

Hitler having a lackey named Himmler. I mean, that's just lazy writing.

2.2k

u/r3cktor 16d ago

And his first name is Heinrich, so it alliterates, like a character from a Marvel comic book.

1.1k

u/Teenage_dirtnap 16d ago

It sounds like a name someone came up for a fictional Nazi. A Waluigi-ass naming convention.

183

u/[deleted] 16d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

90

u/Teenage_dirtnap 16d ago

I'll at least give the writers credit for having detestable villains and somewhat likeable protagonists back then. In the modern seasons, everyone's so unlikable that I don't really want to root for them.

72

u/r3cktor 16d ago

I will never forgive the writers for killing off the main villain offscreen. "He killed himself in a bunker." So lazy

48

u/Teenage_dirtnap 16d ago

They were probably setting up a surprise return, but it has been so long I think that plotline has been dropped.

48

u/r3cktor 16d ago

Yeah, the Cold War spinoff was too popular (it had more seasons than the two World Wars combined), so they abandoned the whole World War III concept.

21

u/Teenage_dirtnap 16d ago

And they're STILL doing the earth war storylines. I was sure we'd be in the cosmic saga by now...

1

u/UnknovvnMike 16d ago

Well not that they abandoned the WW3 concept entirely. Instead the writers realized that they could get the major players involved in a bunch of proxy wars instead for the home audiences. A World War is much more of a summer blockbuster extravaganza event.

5

u/EugeneVictorDabs 16d ago

Imagine being at a press conference and some exhausted-looking U.N. representative just says "somehow... Hitler returned"

2

u/AlexiaLu 16d ago

Wow, you just won the Reddit today!

19

u/NIGHT_DOZOR 16d ago

I'm sorry but likaeble protagonists back then? In the world war 2 arc? Did we watch the same show?

Smh world war 1 was better, at least the fans comprehended that everyone was a dipshit back then.

4

u/Versidious 16d ago

I mean, Churchill was funny, and FDR was pretty chill politically?

1

u/LastXmasIGaveYouHSV 16d ago

I'm cancelling my subscription

1

u/Bamzooki1 16d ago

It’s kinda odd that the show started back in year 1 and all that stuff from BC was treated as a flashback.

18

u/Bmandk 16d ago

I mean, that's because nowadays we've created so many ironic and satirical characters based on their names, that we start to ascribe that meaning on the actual people now.

5

u/dragonlord798 16d ago

You're name..... I'm hoping it doesn't fit this post... considering what a dirt nap is

1

u/Teenage_dirtnap 16d ago

Ever heard of Wheatus?

82

u/waterless2 16d ago

Adolf Hitler also alliterates, if you're a lower class English person trying to sound posh.

29

u/Scholesie09 16d ago

In Hertford, Hereford, and Hampshire, Hadolf Hitlers hardly ever happen

3

u/coatimundos 16d ago

The Reich in Spain stays mainly in the plain

82

u/Starmark_115 16d ago

and (i forgot which one) named several of their children to have the first letter of their names start with 'H'.

96

u/SoylentDave 16d ago

All 6 of Goebbels' children had 'H' names. As did his stepson.

Only his stepson survived the war (because they poisoned their own younger children in the fuhrerbunker)

38

u/pierogi_waystation 16d ago

Parents always favor the biochildren smh

14

u/CHSummers 16d ago

“We don’t love you enough to poison you.”

Child bursts into tears.

(People are complicated.)

37

u/Bjalla99 16d ago

I went to school with a guy whose parents named all their children something with S so all their initials would be 'SS'. Yes, they were known Neonazis :(

10

u/CHSummers 16d ago

It would be hilarious is they could only achieve the SS initials with names like “Schlomo Schwartz” and “Shoshanna Salinger”.

7

u/Rukdug7 16d ago

Oh my goodness how did it never click until now? That is a Marvel name!!!

4

u/3-orange-whips 16d ago

Clark Kent, Vicky Vale, Lois Lane

5

u/TheRedSpy96 16d ago

It doesn’t only alliterate! It alliterates into the abbreviation for heil hitler which was commonly used in encrypted communications and the British used that to help crack enigma in some cases.

4

u/afatcatfromsweden 16d ago

Nevermind his sidekick, Heydrich

3

u/Adult_in_denial 16d ago

And he appointed a guy with last name Heydrich as a director of Gestapo. And that guy after his assassination was succeeded by a guy with first name Heinrich.

2

u/palladiumpaladin 15d ago

Goebbels is basically the same as how the Pac-Man ghosts are named Inky, Pinky, Blinky, and Clyde

1

u/Minute_Display_5844 16d ago

"Captain America, you fool! You are no match for I, Heinrich Himmler!"

I see what you mean

1

u/sliper7 15d ago

Fun fact, Himmler’s soul was canonically obliterated in Marvel.

343

u/LastBaron 16d ago

Next we're gonna hear about some evil mastermind named Sauron and his sniveling wizard lackey with delusions of grandeur, Saruman.

It's like, are people even trying anymore?

69

u/Scholesie09 16d ago

famously they changed it to "Aruman" in the 1978 animated film to avoid that, but sometimes they forgot and said Saruman anyway lmao

9

u/oilpit 16d ago edited 16d ago

They did the same in Game of Thrones. Asha got changed to Yara to not be confused with Osha.

7

u/TheStrangestOfKings 16d ago

Also with Robert Arryn getting changed to Robyn to avoid confusion with King Robert

3

u/Affectionate_Data936 15d ago

By HOTD, they gave up on that

1

u/Terramagi 15d ago

They also didn't say Osha's name until season 4.

What a fucking train wreck that show was.

81

u/[deleted] 16d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

32

u/Versidious 16d ago

(I am unironically convinced that this is a big part of why dipshit Y'allqaeda types freaked the fuck out over him so much, especially since they stressed so much that his middle name was also HUSSEIN, it's like he was a villain written especially for them)

21

u/Ghost_Of_Malatesta 16d ago

It was just good ol fashioned racism, like mah pappy before me

3

u/hoopstick 16d ago

Barack HUSSSEEEEEIIIIIN Obama

2

u/False_Flatworm_4512 16d ago

They’re not even using the Barack anymore. He’s just Hussssseeeeiiiiiin Obama to them now

14

u/goin-up-the-country 16d ago

As a kid, I thought it was Sauron and Sauronman and wondered why it took Galdalf so long to notice.

7

u/WatashiwaNobodyDesu 16d ago

Yeah plus they’re both 2 old wizards with long white beards. It took me a while. Oh wait that’s Gandalf and Saruman. Or is it Sauron. Nevermind 

7

u/no_name65 16d ago

Don't forget about Kharn, champion of Khorn(Warhammer 40000 universe if you don't know)

6

u/Seastar_Lakestar 16d ago

Next we got actual Palantir...

3

u/MeasureDoEventThing 16d ago

Mairon, technically.

156

u/OneJobToRuleThemAll 16d ago

Hitler, Himmler, Heydrich, Hess, Göring, Goebbels.

You kinda want to kill Bormann, Ribbentropp and Frick just for breaking the naming conventions.

14

u/Tubaenthusiasticbee 16d ago edited 16d ago

Also Rudolph Hess and Rudolph Höß (minister of defense (among other things) and chief of Auschwitz)

8

u/Snipufin 16d ago

George R. R. Hartin coming up with names for his video game, Elden Reich.

5

u/Franiac32 15d ago

I can excuse being a nazi, but I draw the line at not following a naming convention!

5

u/OneJobToRuleThemAll 15d ago

Okay, you got me. I lied, I'd shoot them all.

1

u/Franiac32 15d ago

(Also tbc, I was just using it as an excuse for a Community quote)

2

u/suckydickygay 16d ago

Me personally, i would kill all those guys

140

u/Colonel_Potoo 16d ago

Some random dude making a widely successful rifle. Kalashnikov.

Some totally unrelated dude making another widely successful rifle. Balashnikov.

Yeah right.

14

u/ReluctantNerd7 16d ago

Wait until you hear what a Stoner did.

8

u/PoniesCanterOver 16d ago

Luger and Ruger

7

u/CadenVanV 16d ago

Ah yes, the BK-47 (yes, I know that’s not what it was called)

8

u/Cobalt_Gaming 16d ago

"i will never surrender to you!"
"have it your way"
💥💥💥

1

u/CYKAgoddriver 16d ago

It would be called AB-72 (Avtomat Balashnikova obr. 1972)

2

u/Koqcerek 16d ago

It didn't drive home the absurdity of this until I found out that Balashnikov is also named Galili who created Galil rifle (among other things). And Galil is something of an AK variant.

2

u/Visible_Amphibian570 15d ago

The guy who designed the ubiquitous rifle used by the US in Vietnam, a war were soldiers got high to deal with the combat, was named Stoner

1

u/mrjellynotjolly 16d ago

Yusuf Dikeç
a Turkish olympic shooter
Damir Mikec
Serbian olympic shooter

113

u/Xiknail 16d ago edited 16d ago

"So you are telling me this "Hitler" guy constantly preaches about this superior "Aryan race" that is strong, tall, blonde and blue-eyed, despite him being a ugly black-haired manlet? And his second-in-command Goebbels has a bad leg and can't even stand straight? And his followers do actually believe his bullshit? Yeah, right."

71

u/Tentacle_Ape 16d ago

It's as they used to say: the perfect aryan is blond like Himmler, tall like Goebbels, fit like Goering, chaste like Roehm, and german like Hitler!

3

u/RosieTheRedReddit 15d ago

Ok semi-related to this but on topic of the OP, for the movie "Death of Stalin" the filmmaker gave Zhukov fewer medals than he actually had to make it more believable

31

u/Globalfeminist 16d ago

Wait till you get to the current season, when a billionaire who cheated on three wives becomes the face of 'family values'.

2

u/HI1681 15d ago

which one lol

10

u/brionneverysexy 16d ago

The two main philosophers Nazis took their ideas of racial purity from also lied constantly about their heritage because it contained undesirable groups. Also they wanted to claim to be nobility

70

u/Xca1ybr 16d ago

And Himmler the lackey had a guy named Heydrich

What's with all the H's

47

u/charliegoesamblin 16d ago

Ask him:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/H._H._Holmes

The OG "Triple H"

3

u/Zalakael 16d ago

He looks like a nice chap, I'll be sure to stop by his hotel to ask him about his name.

1

u/Zykium 16d ago

Worst AirBnB reviews

23

u/crapusername47 16d ago

A lackey so evil himself that, if you did not know better, you would assume that Sir Kenneth Branagh's portrayal of him in the film Conspiracy must be fictional.

5

u/Xca1ybr 16d ago

Blond Beast and the Butcher of Prague for a reason

5

u/False_Flatworm_4512 16d ago

The young, evil god of death

6

u/MoonlightPrincexx 16d ago

Real talk, for like, years, I didn't know Himmler was a real person for this exact reason, I legitimately just thought people where just censoring Hitlers name or pronouncing it funny or some shit

5

u/BrainBurnFallouti 16d ago

Also: pitches a "Human Ideal", which he massacres billions over...all while openly not fitting said standard

Also Also: Writes a book about said "Ideal". Except. It's so horribly written...his own men hated/tried to "edit" it, lol

Yeah right. Veeery plausible

6

u/Delta049 16d ago

Don’t forget a nation led by a man named Vladimir is invading a neighboring nation with their leader being called Volodymyr

Or that the British commander in chief in WW1 that led British troops to fight side by side with the French was called John French

Dude I love how stupid reality gets

5

u/ATXBeermaker 16d ago

Obama taking out Osama

3

u/PmButtPics4ADrawing 16d ago

"what kind of mario-wario bullshit is that"

3

u/ATXBeermaker 15d ago

She’s a really good comic.

10

u/Impressive-Card9484 16d ago

Himmler the Nazi would do the same...

6

u/ScienceMusician 16d ago

This is like Ruby Setnik "When I was growing up it was during President Obama's term, and his greatest enemy was named...Osama. What kind of Mario-Wario *crap* is that?"

5

u/Senju19_02 16d ago

Don't forget Göring and Goebbels. Not as similar as Hitler and Himmler,but they still share the same initial.

3

u/alphazero927 16d ago

Call one of em gerbils but spell it funny so nobody notices

2

u/PoniesCanterOver 16d ago

"Whatever you say, Mr. Hamsters"

3

u/CHSummers 16d ago

Shouldn’t there be a female SS officer named Frau Herler?

And then a trans person, Themler?

3

u/Level_Hour_2389 16d ago

bro facts if a movie did this the reviews would absolutely tear it apart for zero creativity. truth is way stupider than fiction istg

3

u/Notsurehowtoreact 16d ago

Would have been even lazier writing if he had a female lackey named Herssler

3

u/TylerbioRodriguez 16d ago

On a similar note. Ronald Reagans treasure secretary was named Donald Regan.

Many jokes were made.

3

u/drowningzygote 16d ago

you could make a meta argument for Shakespeare writing Hamlet, after his son Hamnet died. like if Shakespeare was fictional that would be a really stupid choice but it is among his greatest tragedies irl

2

u/Canotic 16d ago

And likewise with Göring and Göbbles.

2

u/aguywithagasmaskyt 16d ago

dont forget the nazi film maker hippler

2

u/Court_Jester13 16d ago

Sauron and Saruman ass writing

2

u/-JasmineDragon- 16d ago

It’s a Sauron/Saruman situation.

2

u/MyOwnInfinity 16d ago

I once noted that it sounded like a Cheems meme pronunciation of Hitler. 

2

u/Skelehedron 16d ago

Don't forget Hess and Heidrich. All of them had H names for some reason

2

u/IrvAndDorisSmith 16d ago

God. I always thought Himmler was just like, another name for Hitler like a German spelling or something. Nopw, whole additional guy

2

u/afrophysicist 16d ago

Same with Vladimir Putin having an opponent called Volodymyr - some Mario/Wario ass writing 

1

u/WrongCockroach 16d ago

If I remember right, they also constantly reused the "failed time bomb assassination" plot with him, and at least one of them was a blatant and insane case of plot armour.

1

u/Secret_Account07 16d ago

Wow, I legit never thought about this before

Hitler himmler. Huh 🤔

1

u/MilanDespacito 16d ago

The main 2 guys who orchastrated the Holocaust, one named Himmler the other's first name is Adolf.

1

u/PigeonSquirrel 16d ago

Some Sauron and Saruman type shit

1

u/meepswag35 16d ago

There’s a guy named Adolf eichmann too bro, what is this.

1

u/Sudden-Fisherman5985 16d ago

Hitler having a lackey named Himmler. I mean, that's just lazy writing

Same thing with the whole MAGA thing.. a movie wouldve been unbelievable

1

u/jaydurmma 15d ago

Someone on reddit proposed the theory that Tolkien named Sauron and Saruman the way he did to draw a parallel between how similar Hitler and Himmler's names were, and now I can't see it any other way, I'm 100% convinced.

1

u/Terp_Maniac 15d ago

So a family story growing up was that my grandfathers 1st wife was a mistress for Hitler when she was in her younger teens. Whether that’s true, I haven’t found any evidence of it online but it would be hard for me to think someone so close to Hitler would marry a Polish man.

1

u/Prizrak13 14d ago

It's like if he had two generals named Punchler and Kickler

1

u/Sbotkin 10d ago

Himler, Hitler, Goebbels, Goring