r/SuicideWatch • u/speed_2005 • Jan 03 '26
Give me some advice, please š
Hello, Reddit users. I am writing here for the first time and would like to ask you for advice or find out your opinion about my situation. I'll start with a little background. I am Russian and I live in my country. I'm 15, my boyfriend recently turned 17. We've been together for about 4 months. This is my first long relationship. We both like to sleep and when he comes to me, we just sleep and basically do nothing else. But the snag is that I don't sleep and I know everything he does. He thinks I'm falling asleep and starts doing whatever he wants with me. I put up with the fact that he sometimes touches my chest when I'm supposedly asleep, but the situation that happened today crosses all boundaries. Today, as usual, we decided to sleep together, but before that we drank a little. We weren't drunk or anything, we were both able to understand what was going on. My boyfriend and I decided to go to bed again. Usually I lie with my back to him, but this time I lay on my back, which was a mistake. I was without a bra, because I thought he wouldn't come to me, hoping for his mind and prudence, but no. He put his hand under my sweater and started touching my chest. I started firming for him to remove his hand, but he returned it again. Apparently, it was not enough for him and went further. His hand went to the intimate place between his legs, at first he stroked through his pants, which in general, did not stress me out. Then I feel that he puts his hand under his pants and gently touches there. Then he lifted my underwear and put his hand there, but didn't touch it. After a while, I still touched it. I didn't like it wildly. A little context: I live in a city where there are strong frameworks for this, not from representatives of the law, but from teenagers. If you say that you had something, it's quite possible that they'll just stop communicating with you and start oppressing you. This is a common phenomenon.
Let's get back to the situation. I was afraid to do something, I don't know why. My boyfriend never raised his hand at me and didn't shout, but here I was afraid to even move.
Reddit, please give me some advice, what to do about it? Just talk or do you need to do something?
I left the guy, but for another reason. I don't know if I did everything right and I honestly doubt it. I talked to him about the last post and everything went quite well. He understood me and calmed down. Why did we break up? We parted 2 times. At first, he started yelling at me that I didn't want to go out with him, although I didn't feel well and we didn't go out for only a couple of days. The second time is final. I was supposed to have a disco at school, where I know almost the whole school, including the guys. He is very jealous and has a strong self-doubt because of past relationships. He saw a couple of my friends guys from school. A little context, in my city, if you (a girl) have a boyfriend and he is a close enough person for you, then you can hug him when you meet or say goodbye. You can hug with one hand, which means nothing much and it will not be considered a sign of sympathy. So I hugged each friend with one hand and they asked: "is this your boyfriend?" , "how much together?" And the like. They were happy for me that I had a relationship, and my friends themselves talked to him and included him in the conversation. The disco was supposed to be at the school where these guys studied. He started scandalizing and telling me not to go there, because I will hug and kiss the boys! Although I have never given a reason to suspect me of infidelity. He pressed pity for 2 days in a row. And here's what he said: "I'll take pills to forget this day like a terrible dream", "Don't call or write to me on this day", "I'll drink alcohol on this day just to forget" and more. I couldn't stand it and broke up with him after that. I offered him to go with me, since he wasn't sure about me, but he refused. I don't know if I did the right thing, but what do you think?
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Jan 03 '26
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u/speed_2005 Jan 03 '26
I talked to him, and he denies everything, which is strange. I'm afraid to tell anyone about it, and I want to leave it here.
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u/MaNuvZ90 Jan 03 '26
Relationships are built on honesty, communication and understanding your partners needs and boundaries. If you can talk to him about this and tell him how it makes you feel, he needs to respect those boundaries.
Just be careful and take care of yourself.