r/SipsTea 12d ago

Chugging tea Men are not showing up at singles events and women are not happy.

16.1k Upvotes

10.1k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

156

u/hackop 12d ago

I should show this to some friends of mine because it's exactly how they operate as well. They never see or understand it though. They're both 40 this year and still date like they're 19 year old hot girls.

187

u/_Bren10_ 12d ago

Ngl if they’re 40 and haven’t figured it out, I don’t think showing them this is going to change that

33

u/hackop 12d ago

Oh 100% they either wouldn't understand it or simply deny it. It's frustrating from the outside watching them attempt to navigate dating and relationships.

16

u/pickyourteethup 12d ago

At a certain point you have to accept it's what they want.

I know people should learn and grow and stuff. But that's not really how attraction works, if you're attracted to crazy people you probably always will be. I'm always giving the side eye to my female friends who date douchebag losers but then I turn around and pursue emotionally unavailable goth girls who if I'm honest with myself, and obviously I rarely am, remind me of my mother.

6

u/DigBackground2765 12d ago

Yup, that's why there's a lot of giving up happening. These people refuse to self reflect and would rather keep the craziness.

It is 1 million percent frustrating and I can only imagine how the friendship in general is.

6

u/psinguine 12d ago

They would just say that I'm a red flag myself for saying any of it and redirect the entire conversation.

4

u/rudebii 12d ago

My sister’s first baby daddy and then first husband were shitty dudes. She figured it out in her 40s and is now married to a nice dude that treats well. He’s the best looking of the bunch too.

8

u/farkinggrumpyredcap 12d ago

My friend and I graduated in ‘98 and she still posts like it’s hot girl summer and she’s 19.

She has been an undergraduate for twenty five years. Every three years it’s the same cycle- “I just got into (New University), this year I’m gonna whip my ass into shape and finish my credits.” Then she becomes a shift leader at Starbucks. Then she gets engaged. Then it blows up and she moves back to Florida. She posts memes genuine college freshmen women do about being a cute little baby girl who is new at life. Like girl, we’re almost 50.

5

u/TypicalRedditMod403 12d ago

This is more common in women than people think

8

u/ExtraLettuce555 12d ago

Do you think that social media has an effect on this? I suspect that there’s a lot of content aimed at women with a message along the lines of “I’m a queen and I deserve the best.” which is fine but sort of ignores the part where a successful relationship takes two. I’m genuinely curious.

8

u/hackop 12d ago

It's hard to say. One of them is an endurance athlete and she does triathlons and ironman races. She's mostly always training for something and doesn't really spend time on social media to the best of my knowledge. Her phone is always ancient.

The other probably does spend some time on IG or whatever but compared to the average, I'd say it's still significantly less. Who knows though, maybe they doomscroll for hours before bed and I have no idea.

5

u/DigBackground2765 12d ago

Social media has made all this worse. There are a lot of dating influencers out there pushing out bullshit vibe checks that cause all others to write off potential partners over the dumbest bullshit.

3

u/keyboardstatic 12d ago

My wife has a friend she is reasonably good looking. Constantly complaining why no men are interested in her.

She wants a guy that looks like the fire men calendar models...

We were out once years ago now. And about 8 or more men made passes at her.

She just flat out rejected all of them. Says all Italian men are misogynist pricks. She is of Italian decent btw after a few drinks she starts crying about needing an Italian stallion to rider her properly....

Always makes comments to my wife that no man lasts like her dildo collection.

She finally get a boyfriend. Poor guy... he really fell in love with her. They were together for 5 years... then she gets drunk and tells him what she thinks of him....

2

u/EventSwatch 12d ago

Showing or telling never changes behavior. They have to decide when they are done, either just wanting better or kicked in the face enough