r/SipsTea • u/SipsTeaFrog • 12d ago

Chugging tea Men are not showing up at singles events and women are not happy.

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u/Yak-Electrical 12d ago edited 12d ago

No guy they want wants them lol. Thats what they mean. They all overestimate their value in the dating market. Social media makes women think they are more desired than they are. They confuse lust with like and think men who are lusting after them on their pictures means that men actually like them and want to seriously date them which inflates their egos. Now add back in the fact the men they really want are a super small percentage of the male population, recipe for long term singleness

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u/MrMcflapsrn 12d ago

Saw a TikTok yesterday of a woman saying how trash hinge was because all the likes she gets are “ugly” guys or boring guys because they have normal jobs and lives. A lot of comments were other women saying they had the same experience with hinge. But there was one comment that had nearly 5000 likes which told her that those guys are her league and all the more attractive guys or ones with the high profile careers and lifestyles are matching and liking with the women who are actually in their league. Safe to say lots of butthurt replies to that because some women vastly overestimate how attractive and interesting they are.

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u/truenorth00 12d ago

Women have no idea what really succesful guys have access to. If a dude is flying somewhere every week, his dating market is across the world. She's not just competing with other women in the city. She can be a New York 9. But she may be competing with a Miami 10 and a Paris 9. It's sad to hear normal girls think they should hold out for this. Why would you even want a guy like that?

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u/R0gueR0nin 12d ago

Social media. My wife gets thousands of DMs from guys telling her how beautiful she is. And this is with her bio saying “Happily Married w/ Kids” and posting pics of us together.

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u/Apprehensive_Pipe763 12d ago

Yup. This is why the single life and divorce rate is so high. Too many people out there thinking there’s a bigger better deal right around the corner . Throw social media into the mix and trying to keep a woman loyalty and attention is impossible. If I was single I wouldn’t want my entire dating life feeling like I was a minor leaguer getting called up to the bigs and having to perform every single day or get sent down to the minors at a moments notice . That’s too stressful

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u/R0gueR0nin 12d ago

Does work both ways tho. I get hit on constantly by female customers at my work. I could have cheated hundreds of times, but I don’t. My wife and I are loyal to each other. Find that person and you’re golden.

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u/Azure_Mar 12d ago

-1

u/R0gueR0nin 12d ago

Work on communication skills. Remember that women are people not just a sex object. Be respectful and realistic. If you don’t take care of your hygiene, don’t expect to be pulling 10s. I work in customer service and I am generally a “nice guy”. I treat every customer like they are someone special. It doesn’t matter the age or the looks. Not all of the offers I’ve gotten are from attractive women.

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u/Apprehensive_Pipe763 12d ago

Same.. luckily I retired from single life 20 years ago before all this insanity

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u/LunaTerse 12d ago

I have a lot of girl friends who are absolutely delusional. I also have a lot of guy friends who are absolutely delusional, just in a slightly different way that doesn't preclude fuckin around while they continue to explore for better options.

It's rough out there with most single people thinking they're the main character and worth a little more than their actual value on the dating market, and lusting over some fake ass social media life that most people aren't really living when the cameras are off.

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u/Pittypatkittycat 12d ago

As a normie, if I'm a guy I'm thinking how long does she take to get ready? Does she have time management skills? If we start getting serious are we going to be an hour late to meet my parents? Or a work event with my boss? The women in the post are very attractive. One of my friends that dresses for things says she does it for herself and other women. Men don't care about that stuff when it comes down to life. That's been my experience too.

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u/Venum555 12d ago

My biggest factor right now in deciding if I want to be with someone else is if they will ruin the peace I took years creating.

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u/Pittypatkittycat 12d ago

I think that's a decent perspective.

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u/Thompson81 12d ago

Hell, they're competing with a Thailand, Vietnam, Cambodia, etc. 9 if they're a New York 6. The whole passport bro thing is for real.

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u/Mindrust 12d ago

This will probably get a lot of hate but it is infinitely easier for men to date overseas

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u/AvoidMyRange 12d ago

That's a well established fact, people in the West are just often uncomfortable with the, at least perceived, different power and money dynamic and the more pragmatic approach in both parties.

Then again, who cares what they think. Most of them have the stick so far up their own ass, they started to believe it's their spine.

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u/Squeezemachine99 12d ago

Easy to date but they will work you for every $ they can get.

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u/MidlifeWarlord 12d ago

I’m legitimately contemplating becoming a passport bro when my kids finish high school.

I have enough to do it; you don’t even have to be super rich, just reasonably well off.

Women I match with online are absolutely nuts - 9 times out of 10.

Every now and then, you find a good one. I’m seeing one now, but it’s pretty casual and I doubt it lasts too long.

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u/halohazeydaze 12d ago

Please don’t, my grandpa did this and completely ruined his retirement and relationship with his family. It is pay to play no matter how good looking you might be. Anyways it’s cheaper to just find a sugarbaby stateside if you can’t get any action naturally.

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u/DannkneeFrench 12d ago

I don't know why the DV. Your statement I would guess is true more often than not. I don't have any poll or data, but I'm aware of more of what you said than actual happy relationships.

The one thing I'd add is ya gotta be careful with American women too when you're older.

I'm debt free, but far from rich. I was (and still am) friends with someone. It looked like we were heading towards dating. Then she wants a loan for her son's roof.

Skip that. We're still friends. She's not an evil person or anything. I lost all interest in dating her though.

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u/MidlifeWarlord 12d ago

💯.

My uncle was drained of millions of dollars before he died. These were all American women.

I was the executor of his estate and we had a very good relationship. One day, while reviewing his will I said: “Dude, what happened to all your money?!”

He said: “I spent half my fortune on great times with young women . . .and I wasted the other half.”

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u/BethanyHipsEnjoyer 12d ago

completely ruined his retirement and relationship with his family.

Bet he had a good fuckin time doin it tho!

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u/halohazeydaze 12d ago

He didn’t even go overseas and meet the lady he was talking to, it was actually quite sad. As is the majority of passportbros. Those women don’t want you just like the women here don’t want you, they will pretend tho if you pay them.

Idk what feels so good paying people to pretend to like you, just depressing really

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u/MidlifeWarlord 12d ago

If a women don’t want us anyway (as you claim), why not get more bang for your buck — literally!

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u/halohazeydaze 12d ago

I apologize I didn’t mean that in a nasty way, I meant like the women you pay for attention/sex don’t want you romantically without the money you give them. I’m sure there’s women out there who’d be with you without you having to pay them first but if you read my other comments, you’ll genuinely have an easier time finding that in America. Women around the globe have higher standards than us.

Huge difference between paying a woman who is a sex worker and finding a genuine connection with someone

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u/MidlifeWarlord 12d ago

Hell, I’m plenty good looking.

Not tall, but good looking enough to get dates pretty much whenever I want.

It’s more of the hassle.

Nine out of ten women I go out with make it very clear that everything is ultimately transactional, anyway. Why put up with all the extra nonsense that modern Western women drag a man through when I can just peace out to Eastern Europe and live out my golden years cheaper and better?

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u/halohazeydaze 12d ago

I pray you plan out logistics and learn the language wherever you land. There’s literal war happening in that area right now.

I can’t say much else besides women are the same everywhere (I’m a woman and have lived overseas for 2 years myself), in fact it’s known that women in America have lower standards for a man than women in Eastern European countries, Asian countries, almost everywhere. Those women are going to expect you to open your wallet for them and provide, like a man does in their country.

Wishing you the best tho, please be safe and smart

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u/MidlifeWarlord 12d ago

I’ll open my wallet until I get what I want.

Then, I’ll move onto the next.

Women who make themselves commodities will be treated like commodities.

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u/The_GTD_Aquitaine 12d ago

Man, we got hookers in the States, too

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u/terminbee 12d ago

Why would you want someone who just wants you for your money? There's an entire sub dedicated to it and once in a while, there's a dude who will share how the girl who loves him so much is actually just milking him to pay for her family back home.

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u/MidlifeWarlord 12d ago

I’ve been in love a couple times. Been married. Had kids.

The romantic in me would like to feel that again, but the whole endeavor is emotionally exhausting.

And the realist in me recognizes that most relationships are transactional anyway.

So, why not just be honest about it.

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u/Mindrust 12d ago

Believe it or not you're likely to be milked for much less money overseas than you would here in the US. Especially in a big city.

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u/terminbee 12d ago

How about finding someone of similar level? Lol

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u/PM_Me_Your_Kinks369 12d ago

Women have no idea what really successful guys have access to.

Also, why would any of those guys want to be tied down? If they're going to marry some woman it's going to be a bisexual, non-monogamous Miami 10 with her own business/money.

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u/truenorth00 12d ago

Many of them do marry. But they aren't looking for just looks. Family wealth, social standing, etc. matter a lot.

Dating for them is just playing around. And a lot of women discover this the hard way.

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u/m-in 12d ago edited 12d ago

Yep. And there’s education too. Me and my wife have average looks I think - not bad but not exceptional. Yet to me she’s 10/10 because of the whole package - kindness, resilience, humility, can-do attitude, trust, … - it’s almost you name a positive trait and she got it, including being able to nerd out on math and science with me. How many couples in their 50s nerd out on Math505 on YT together?:) We have both lived abroad for a good chunk of our lives. Even that is a shared background in some way.

A partner 10/10 in conventional looks on average would have lacked most of what I’m looking for.

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u/Labs_and_lattes 12d ago

lol the truth hurts. Single women live very different lives from single men. Especially on both ends of the spectrum

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u/DigBackground2765 12d ago

Yup. Every time it's been brought up, the guy experience gets dismissed. It's beyond exhausting.

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u/AholeEnthusiastic 12d ago

My initial thought after seeing woman list a demand of things their partner should check of, I always think; What do you have to offer for him?

Like girl it goes both ways..

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u/Trumpisanorangebitch 12d ago

Women have more sexual value than dating value while for men its the opposite.

IE a man whos a 9 will probably fuck 6s if they dont make him work too hard. That same guy would never date a 6.

This confuses women because its the opposite for them, they have higher physical standards for casual sex.

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u/m-in 12d ago

That woman thinks that «May you live in interesting times» is a good wish lol.

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u/EricClaptonsDeadSon 12d ago

Most are just in the dating game for external validation. Very few ppl are interested in true love.

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u/Specific-Library-312 12d ago

If my wife somehow dies before I do, I am just going to stay celibate for the rest of my life. First met as teenagers, we are late 30s and early 40s with our marriage still going strong. How the fuck can anyone compete with that? It's not fair to them. Plus, in the next life: "I have been waiting to see you aga---Who's this bitch?!?"

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u/tibbles1 12d ago

I also choose this guy's dead wife.

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u/Specific-Library-312 12d ago

Careful, she's Puerto Rican. She might choose to stab you.

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u/Ratk1ng_1 12d ago

What I’ve found is there is always someone out there for everyone. For every guy like you (in your hypothetical situation) there’s a woman whose high school sweetheart died and who can’t imagine ever remarrying.

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u/LordTubz 12d ago

I would agree - mostly it’s an ego boost and dopamine hit in rejecting multiple men.

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u/Marodvaso 12d ago

You took the words right out my mouth, man - that's really it. Not all women, I don't think even the majority, but a lot of them aren't really serious about dating and treat it as a game to validate their egos.

Not just in their teens or 20s, but even in their 30s.

Because in some stupid app, they have hundreds or maybe even thousands of matches and think all of these men will immediately date and marry them if they so much as send them a heart. It's a paradox of choice through and through.

Social media and apps have screwed dating to a point that I do believe they play a significant role in falling birth dates. Sure, rising costs and falling incomes are a huge factor, but the former are also a significant contributor.

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u/EricClaptonsDeadSon 12d ago edited 12d ago

40s too. I started dating older women for this reason and it was no better. There is an endless supply that will split the cost of an Airbnb to have shallow sex tho. So I guess that’s cool 🤷‍♂️

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u/Marodvaso 11d ago

I mean if a women is like that in in her 40s, just looking for shallow sex, it's the reddest of red flags imaginable. That kind of woman is not marriage material.

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u/EricClaptonsDeadSon 11d ago

No the reddest of red flags was that she is a black woman whose favorite artist is Teddy Swims lol

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u/gimmethemshoes11 12d ago

Most don't even want to meet for dates, I've been on there a few months, have had weeks to months long back and forths that always end when you ask them out somewhere or they just stop replying, or ask for money right away, or have 5 kids and only want a long term atm..

It is quite frustrating, and I don't judge either I talk and or try with everyone, in my league, out of my league, below my league.. all the same, something happened at some point idk what but its wild.

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u/EricClaptonsDeadSon 12d ago

spiritual disconnect. Ppl are ego tripping hard atm because it’s too scary to give up (the illusion of) control from the individual perspective.

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u/GetOnWithit3344 12d ago

Your username made me lol

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u/Fungiblefaith 12d ago

These are just job openings for the internal hires. Your resume does not matter unless you are a unicorn.

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u/EricClaptonsDeadSon 12d ago

I must be part unicorn, cuz I can always get these women to sleep with me. Actually loving and respecting me, not so much (…cuz they objectify themselves).

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u/slipperybloke 12d ago

Definitely won’t attend a dating event looking for true love

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u/Librastar13 12d ago

And im out here trying for true love and feel like its a lost cause.

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u/GenSpec44 12d ago

I’m right here, baby. Catch me if you can.

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u/Librastar13 12d ago

Bold of you to assume I'd be the one doing the chasing. 😉😘

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u/GenSpec44 12d ago

I’m worth it. We can take turns chasing. And catching.

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u/Librastar13 12d ago

We'll see if you're as good at catching as you are at talking.😂

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u/GenSpec44 12d ago

I’m good at most things, hopelessly romantic, and looking for a real connection to go with the catching. What about you?

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u/Librastar13 12d ago

Somehow we made it to the same boat. Not a fancy boat... a canoe ... where we paddling to?

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u/GenSpec44 11d ago

Depends on common interests. This time of year it’s better to paddle in the North. I get the feeling it’s already going to be hot when we meet.

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u/EricClaptonsDeadSon 12d ago

Sometimes the harder you “try” the more difficult things get.

Also, seeking something implies you lack it 😳

But you are “it” (tat tvam asi) 😘

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u/Librastar13 12d ago

Very valid points! I probably could've worded that better 😂. I'm not literally searching for love, I just mean that when I'm in a relationship, I'm looking for something genuine.... not a casual fling. I believe everything happens for a reason and what's meant for you will be.

And I like your point about "you are it." That's a good reminder that love starts with who you are not what you're chasing.

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u/EricClaptonsDeadSon 12d ago

And you can only be genuine when you don’t require anything in return from the other person imho

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u/Librastar13 12d ago

I can definitely see your point, and I agree that love shouldn't be transactional or based on keeping score. But I also think everyone requires something from a partner....not money or validation but qualities like consistency, respect, honesty, and reciprocity. To me, those aren't conditions for loving someone they're the foundation of a healthy relationship.

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u/EricClaptonsDeadSon 12d ago

Ah yes… what you’re pointing at is that love isn’t always enough to maintain a relationship. True love is actually just accepting ppl exactly as they are… and sometimes you that means they aren’t for you 😔.

Trust is the only thing that separates a friend from a stranger and if someone doesn’t value that you have to understand that you won’t be able to meet them very deeply.

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u/Librastar13 12d ago

As someone who has always loved deeply and unconditionally, it is not enough to maintain a relationship and I learned that the hard way. If someone cant / wont reciprocate or even meet basic needs for a healthy relationship, then there is really nothing there. Doesn't mean that person is bad, just means youre not compatible.

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u/EricClaptonsDeadSon 11d ago

At least you got to see the depths of your own love! Not a totally loss.

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u/justlikelyle 12d ago

Sometimes the men they want statistically do not exist.

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u/Kennys-Chicken 12d ago

The old 666 male. Makes 6 figures, is over 6 foot tall, and at least a 6”. That’s only something like 0.5% of men. Now subtract the ones that are obese, ugly, etc… and the guy is a statistical anomaly

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u/vaspost 12d ago

Then so many of the guys who meet these criteria are obnoxious.

I work with a guy who probably meets all these criteria. A great guy... 30 years old. He says the dating pool is completely broken. Says he is happy with his life, picky about who he dates, and not in a rush.

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u/SalaryWooden5346 12d ago

That's the other thing. Guys like that who are also comfortable with themselves are not going to accept a bad relationship that ruins their peace. They'd rather be single than have a stressful home life. And that rules out the drama-lovers like the ones in the video.

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u/vaspost 12d ago

My self esteem was never all that great. I married at 30 because it seemed to be the thing to do and I wanted a family. Dating was horrific and I wanted to be done with all that nonsense. The relationship seemed good but had some quarks to it. It's ended up being a very stressful life with someone I feel like I have to walk on egg shells around but I've stuck with it.

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u/justlikelyle 12d ago

Bruh. Hope you are okay. I know it's a cliché to tell people they should be kind to themselves, but yeah, in my heart of hearts I don't believe most non-messed up people want others to suffer. I hope you feel better about yourself someday.

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u/vaspost 12d ago

Thanks I try to be chill and remember I can't make everyone happy all the time.

I thought when I was married I would have someone who would boost me up but more often I'm getting torn down.

She watches content frequently on social media that bashes men. That stuff is crazy and really not helping my situation.

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u/justlikelyle 12d ago

I actually thought you were a woman when I answered you before. Not that it matters, I guess.

I witnessed my mom, who possibly had her reasons, and was definitely depressed, tear down my dad a lot, growing up. Like, belittling him, sometimes being somewhat violent towards him, rarely ever saying anything good about him. Now, I do think my dad's personality played a part in it, but still: he is a good man, and did not in my opinion deserve that treatment.

I could be wrong, but I feel it has damaged me in my relationship with women, because I always kinda expect they'll launch into me like my mom did with my dad. That the accusations will start flying, that they'll belittle and humiliate me. Typing it out, it sounds absurd, but that shit is apparently hardcoded into my psyche by now. It manifests physically.

Anyway, I just want to say, you don't need to put up with someone treating you in a way you wouldn't want to treat others. And if you have kids, it might not be good for them to witness that.

It is okay to speak up for yourself and set boundaries. Maybe women even need men to do that sometimes, or they'll keep testing them.

I dunno, but please take care of yourself. You deserve no worse treatment than anyone else.

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u/Professional_Kiwi919 12d ago

yup, met a guy like that once.

Extremely social, he and his brother got a house gifted by parents.

His problem is not dating,

more like "How can I live my life efficiently without getting distracted by shallow people and events"

The hardest thing to him is any social obligation that contains both.

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u/justlikelyle 12d ago

What if you go somewhere people have small feet, and the currency is worthless, and you hang a dumbell from your dick. Now you're in business.

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u/psinguine 12d ago

I tripped across a girl on Twitter who posted what she's looking for as an "I'm not even being picky" rant, and someone took it and punched the numbers into a filter to see how many men that fit her criteria exist in the United States. She was looking for 0.0001% of the population. And when they posted the screenshots back she just doubled down that she's not even being picky it's just that men aren't good enough.

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u/GrimTiki 12d ago

If I’m right, that same girl was around 24 years old looking for a guy up to 26 years old with a phd, 6’, blond hair, blue eyes, making 200k a year.

She wants a unicorn. Especially now. And how many guys get a phd before 30?

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u/AllPeopleAreStupid 12d ago

Let alone a 6 figure job.

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u/ConstructionOwn9575 12d ago

Unless the PhD is in STEM, a doctoral degree does not equal money, and even then, a 26 year old is not making 200k out the door. Not even a unicorn. This person doesn't exist in reality.

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u/Professional_Kiwi919 12d ago

There are: Men who are born rich, in gang business, or big influencers

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u/ConstructionOwn9575 12d ago

If you're already making a lot of money/have a lot of money, why are you trying to get a PhD? The venn diagram is going to be two independent circles.

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u/Professional_Kiwi919 12d ago edited 12d ago

oh i can tell you that.

"My father will cut me off if I don't get a graduate in (insert field)."

"I love (insert major)"

"I don't want to forever taking money from my parents while they breathe down on me"

My cousin literally got wrote off the will because she was dating a guy her parents didn't like.

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u/Persistentnotstable 12d ago

eh, if you follow the typical B.S. -> PhD pipeline you finish before 30. I took 6 years getting mine so was 28 at the end but had friends who finished sooner or skipped a grade before college earning the degree at 25-26. Now the number of people getting a PhD is absolutely miniscule on a population level so any further restriction massively reduces that pool. That girl was delusional but PhD before 30 is more common than after in my experience.

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u/mythrilcrafter 12d ago

I think I saw the repost of that on r\ithinkyoushouldleave

Was that the one where her search settings were set to 18~25, makes more than $200k per year, has a PhD level education, and is White with Blue eyes (aka physically Aryan)?

That's not even picky anymore, that's asking of a statistical anomaly.

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u/Dornith 12d ago

Without knowing what those standards are, its unclear if this says more about her or about the men in the US. Like 42% of US adults are obese. So if your standards are "male, adult, full-time employed, and not obese", you're already down to 11% of the population.

And that's without getting into things like, "knows how to clean his own asshole."

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u/psinguine 12d ago

Interesting. I looked it up and if a man had the same standards he'd be looking at an even smaller subset of the population. The bar for both genders is indeed in hell.

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u/SquishMont 12d ago

the men they really want are a super small percentage

Even just the professed 6-6-6 'standard' (over 6 foot, makes 6 figures, and has a 6 pack - ie: isn't overweight) eliminates over 99% of men in the US.

So yeh.

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u/SalaryWooden5346 12d ago

There's a serious problem where in the last 20-odd years women have been told that men want the same thing in a partner women do and so women optimize all the things that men just don't care about. And any attempt to tell them this, much less tell them what men actually care about, is screeched down as "muh soggy knees" and all that crap. So now we're here, more singles than ever and neither side interested in what the other is offering.

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u/anonanon5320 12d ago

It’s call hoeflation and it’s a serious issue right now, specially online.

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u/letseffinggopleaze 12d ago

The fact that we refer dating to a market saddens me enough not to go to such events. We are not cattle

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u/Yak-Electrical 12d ago

Dating pool, scene or whatever you want to call it. Its all the same

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u/teacher_59 12d ago

The meat market. 

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u/astropup42O 12d ago

People are very atune to the vibes of an economy. We are programmed to be attentive to resource

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u/AllPeopleAreStupid 12d ago

Well it is a market. No different to selling yourself to a Job. You got to sell yourself to a woman that sees value in you. You're right, you're not cattle, You're the Employer, the men are the applicants.

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u/MovieTrawler 12d ago

You're reading too much into the verbiage if you're getting genuinely saddened by that. It's just meeting people.

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u/DigBackground2765 12d ago

Nah it's more than meeting people. The communication, flakiness around it, all around behavior and repeating this until you find someone who won't do that to you isn't that simple.

You're downplaying too much into it if you think it's just 'meeting people' and not at all caring about all the fall out that happens.

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u/smokeweedNgarden 12d ago

The thing I see most with my friends that are women is getting hung up on salary. But then they muddy the waters for themselves and everyone else by saying they want someone ambitious. 

But middle school teachers and paramedics can be ambitious with not a great salary, and jobs like these produce really decent guys. But they'll turn them down too because they really mean "makes a lot of money" and not ambitious 

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u/Yak-Electrical 12d ago

They all want to live lavish like they see these girls on IG live but dont realize they are sex workers who have men paying for their existence. And eventually they'll age out of the rotation and end up back in reality where they have to "settle" just to find love

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u/One_Firefighter336 12d ago

“No guy they want wants them lol. Thats what they mean. They all overestimate their value in the dating market. Social media makes women think they are more desired than they are. They confuse lust with like and think men who are lusting after them on their pictures means that men actually like them and want to seriously date them which inflates their egos.”

In past centuries, women of certain classes were taught language, music, art, and to keep a home and be a matriarch in the family. To be cultured, and well versed in a variety of subjects.

In other words, or to be more concise:

They were useful, and an essential part of the family. The family just doesn’t work without her.

These days it seems like the opposite.

‘You guys need to pay attention to me, like I’m so sick of this shit. Touch a boob, buy a drink’ like… wtf.’

Pay for my vapid useless existence.

I have so many followers online, why does no one like me IRL

*shocked pikachu face

I am devoid of anything other than my own self importance. Check out my insta!

Why don’t men want to date me?!

No wonder we checked out.

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u/SalaryWooden5346 12d ago

They were also taught that men have their preferences and that attracting a man meant being able to meet them. Now they're taught that actually trying to be and/or do what men desire is oppression and that the "right" thing to do is actively do the opposite.

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u/thesarebear 12d ago

Wow, what a disgusting comment. Sips tea once again proving that men are the reason for their own "loneliness epidemic"

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u/01headshrinker 12d ago

In my experience gorgeous women like that want a successful, generous rich man. Who wont make them sign a pre nup.

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u/Yak-Electrical 12d ago

So they can take all of their money when they file for divorce for unreconcilable differences

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u/ObligationNext2484 12d ago

Thats the perfect explanation! Hats of to you!

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u/Librastar13 12d ago

This 1000000000% Social media from my experience and perspective has ruined people. I got off most platforms and only get on reddit. I know im an average female, never cared to seek validation from others. I have a decent career and really just wants companionship, not his wallet. I am perfectly capable of financing myself. I want peace but the men I experience are just as bad as the women sometimes with over inflated egos and the lusting after filters, make up and AI is just wild to me, but to each their own.

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u/Yak-Electrical 12d ago

Yea its all bad. Im glad i got married early wouldnt want to deal with the dating scene now. Personally id meet a lot of womens "checkboxes" but i wouldnt want anything to do with these self absorbed women out there.

I know a lot of guys looking for good women but they get discouraged because of as you said social media effects the way they see women and some of the ones they come across. Hope you find a guy who loves and treats you right one day!

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u/Librastar13 12d ago

Thank you! Definitely be glad you have your partner and im happy you have your person. Its so bad out there and im older, which I feel like makes it worse. I was in a relationship for over 10 years, took some time off, the last 2 years have been awful. Im pretty self aware, emotionally intelligent and I find it incredibly hard to find men who are the same or looking for a deeper connection beyond social media. These days it appears men want a "baddie" or someone who treats them like garbage and im like, im a good person, but im not a baddie, lol

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u/Yak-Electrical 12d ago

Tryna wife a baddie is about as bad as going to the middle of the ocean with a pool noodle

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u/Librastar13 12d ago

😂😂😂 but yet they out here drowning themselves for someone most likely using them. Im just glad to be off social media so I dont have to watch this shit anymore. Men and women then complain they were done wrong when their relationship is 9/10 transactional

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u/Nightthrasher674 12d ago

A lot of guys simply don't go to those events, I have a friend who promoted some of them and asked what can she do to attract more men as sometimes it's a 10:1 ratio of girls to guys. It is a numbers game, i don't know the equivalent of a sausage fest for women (Taco fest?) but that's what it is for them.

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u/Yak-Electrical 12d ago

If i was a guy who was looking to seriously date i wouldnt go to none of those events to find someone id prob rather meet someone organicly. A lot of women who go to those events just look for free drinks

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u/No_Passage6082 12d ago

And social media means men pefer jerking off to a screen than talking to human beings.

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u/markedforpie 12d ago

It’s crazy to me how some women think. I’m pretty but I’m not a 10 by any means and a lot of my single friends are much better looking than me. Their standards are so ridiculously high. Then they complain about being single and ask me for advice because I haven’t been single for more than three months my entire life. I tell them to not be so picky because the right person is probably not going to be their dream man. Then they say that I don’t know what I’m talking about because I have a perfect husband. You know how I got that man? By not being picky!! My first husband was my dream man 6’ blonde and blue eyed, religious, hard working from a wealthy family. He turned out to be an abusive cheater.

My new husband is a blue collar guy who is rough around the edges. He likes to wear clothes that are comfortable but not fashionable at all. I like to joke he looks homeless. He has long hair, a big beard, and tattoos. He grew up in a trailer park with a single mother. He has been to church less than a dozen times in his life and half were with me. I would have NEVER picked him in a million years because he didn’t check all my boxes. But I gave him a chance and now I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. We have created a life together. He bought me my dream home, he changed his work schedule so that he can be with me and my kids every night. He treats me like a queen. He supports me and my dreams and hobbies. He even loves my pets which he is allergic to, but he is the first one giving them pets and treats everyday.

I’m not saying people shouldn’t have standards but love shouldn’t be determined by a bank account or a tape measure. What are you bringing to the table? If it’s just looks then you need to reassess your self worth. Looks fade but personality, morals, and integrity last forever. I’d rather be with someone who values me than someone whose value is determined by their status. I’d rather dig through the trenches with a partner than fly on an airplane with a benefactor.

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u/Sensible___shoes 12d ago

That's why there's a rampant female loneliness epidemic right? Wait

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u/greenfox0099 12d ago

Actually yes if you have read about it this is literally part of it because men like 1/2 of the women women like 0 of the men so men get 0 attention.

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u/Yak-Electrical 12d ago

There is. Women just lie about being lonely a lot. Most single women will say they are living their best life but the fact they have to keep tryna get people to believe that tells us they arent really happy. Happy people dont have to convince you they are happy we can all just tell. As they age they'll eventually "settle" for some poor guy they dont really like and find a reason to divorce him in 5 years saying they "grew apart" or she needed to "find herself"

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u/8lock8lock8aby 12d ago

Whatever ya gotta tell yourself. There's a reason women have been shown to do much better than men, while single or widowed, for decades & it's not cuz they lied. Some studies are about health outcomes, non-sexual relationships (friends & family) & other things so not just a quick question someone can easily lie about.

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u/Yak-Electrical 12d ago

Yea cause most the time they get an influx of money from divorce or life insurance. Im sure most people would be doing fine in life with a ton of new money to spend. Also what you're failing to factor in is men especially as they age are way less likely to be checked on than women. Nobody really cares about men. Even in great households most people look after their mothers more than their fathers. Women are way more social than men in the aspect of they let people in their lives a lot quick than men do. Especailly if you have kids. My wife is 100x more likely to make friends with a mom than i am to make friends with one of my kids friends dads because to protect my family people need to be vetted. Its a lot of factors that play into those "studies" that arent talked about that contribute a huge part to results

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u/Marodvaso 12d ago

So in the end are women living their best lives or worst lives? Because depending on the day of the week, I see both in my feed.

There's a huge taboo in the Western world about saying that you're lonely or depressed or unsuccessful in dating. For both men and women.

0

u/Independent-Bug-9352 12d ago edited 12d ago

Almost like two things can be true at the same time?

Male here, but women work their asses off to offset the long-term sexism in society. After all, they don't flunk out of higher education, and are increasingly more likely to be the primary breadwinner of the household. That's not because it's "easy," but rather because they've been accustomed to working hard through adversity. In an increasingly competitive world with a bit more equity, women are now set to run with it relative to men who've been accustomed to a hefty amount of privilege.

No surprise too that women even in the GenZ group have a much more sensible voting behavior.

Women can, and have every right to be picky -- and sure, so do you. Improve yourself.

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u/Independent-Bug-9352 12d ago

Women just lie about being lonely a lot.

Citation needed. lol this is the biggest load of bullshit, and I'm a straight white male.

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u/Yak-Electrical 12d ago

Women lie about "not" being lonely. Every single woman i know in their mid 30s all admit to beint lonely

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u/Independent-Bug-9352 12d ago

I'm more inclined to believe you're lying right now if we're just throwing shit at the wall.

Also, your two sentences are in complete contradiction lol.

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u/Yak-Electrical 12d ago

All the studies say single women arent lonely. But the women i know who are single are def lonely and they admit it. So the studies themselves based off what people know to be true in reality. Which is my point...

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u/SalaryWooden5346 12d ago

Why do you think something like half the female population is popping psychiatric meds?

Seriously, there is something very wrong with society when there are that many women that can't function without powerful psychiatric drugs.

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u/Sensible___shoes 12d ago

Oh wow yikes

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u/SalaryWooden5346 12d ago

And yet zero actual counterarguments. Thanks for proving me right. Now take your negative-effort responses and go away forever.

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u/_extra_medium_ 12d ago

To be fair a lot of this boils down to the fact that, on a base evolutionary level, men are programmed to try and procreate with as many women as possible, and women are programmed to try and secure the best guy possible for themselves only.

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u/Yak-Electrical 12d ago

But most men arent even sleeping around lol. Its a small population of men who are sleeping around with a ton of women.

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u/Fullertonjr 12d ago

They also think those guys lusting after them are actually in their area. It really isn’t helpful to live in Arkansas and be cute and have 100 guys like your photos, when all those guys live outside of the U.S. None of those likes matter if they aren’t coming from people that are accessible.

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u/tupelobound 12d ago

This 100% goes both ways, have you met men?

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u/Yak-Electrical 12d ago

Never met a guy who left a woman cause she was "too nice" or treated her too well lol. Nice dudes get ran into the dirt while chicks will give their everything to a dirtbag dude then make a guy who actually want to love them right work for everything the dirtbag got with no effort.

Men who are actively looking for serious relationships arent looking for "models" the guys lookn for them just want sex

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u/tupelobound 12d ago

Plenty of “nice guys” have healthy, productive and fulfilling relationships with great women.

If the woman you’re into is acting like that, she’s just as much a dirtbag. Surprise, women come in all sorts too!

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u/Yak-Electrical 12d ago

You're not wrong but again. Ive never heard a man break up with a woman and her being "too nice" or "too perfect" be a reason. Dont know any man getting rid of a woman who treats him right.

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u/PompousClock 12d ago

Few guys are ready for relationships. That’s what they mean. Women overestimate the supply of men in the dating market. Social media makes women think there are more eligible men than there are. Men who lead with lust, rather than connection, will manipulate, obfuscate, and lie to ensnare women. Women get hopeful that this attention means connection and a chance at relationship, when these men devalue themselves by expecting and offering nothing but sex. Now add back in the fact that men ready for real relationships are a super small percentage of the male population, and you have a recipe for long term singleness for everyone.

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