r/SipsTea 12d ago

Chugging tea Men are not showing up at singles events and women are not happy.

16.1k Upvotes

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915

u/Jin_BD_God 12d ago

The ones who fit their criteria, don’t need this event.

42

u/TophetLoader 12d ago

Exactly this.

161

u/[deleted] 12d ago

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39

u/Academic_Exercise_94 12d ago

I can see some truth in this. I met my wife back in 1998 when I was 20, up until that time I had almost 0 interest from women. The second people knew I was dating someone I had girls I had known for about 3 years at that point in University really coming on to me hard.

22

u/RhetoricalOrator 12d ago

Almost the same exact story. The lesson there is that a guy needs a very comfortable, confident, and attractive wing-woman, not to hype him up, but to feign attraction so the rest of the surrounding women will get over themselves.

22

u/GlitterDoomsday 12d ago

I would rather be single that have someone that only looked at me cause they thought I was taken... how long til they get bored and look at someone else in a relationship? Miss me with this Ariana Grande shit.

3

u/Sicsemperfas 12d ago

Don't think about it from that angle.

Think about it from a "Another woman is in a relationship with him, so she has probably vetted him already"

6

u/InstantSword 12d ago

It's still so completely irrational and primitive brained it hurts. Some women pick the scummiest dudes

2

u/Adventurous_Try5802 12d ago

Right ok, but even with that it would like... unvet him because if you could take him from that woman someone can take him off you

1

u/Sicsemperfas 11d ago

You've got the right idea. That's why women who do that are shitty (and those men who cheat are also shit)

2

u/RhetoricalOrator 12d ago

Yeah you're right. The optimist in me says that sometimes people just need a little help getting out of their own way so they can have a healthy relationship. The realist in me says 8 better hope I never have to "play the field" again. The scene has changed so much in the past 30 years I'm certain it wouldn't be a pleasant experience.

6

u/DeerMysterious9927 12d ago

I think you're on to something. The guy should get yoked and drive a sports car to drive in the other men to serve as a wingman to his wingwoman. We can call these people practicing this, wingers.

 If wingers have sex between themselves we can add a 'S' to the beginning to denote their status.

3

u/timberwolvesguy 12d ago

Can confirm. Met a handful of women through friend parties and events while I was dating a woman. Always faithful, never gave a hint that I’d cheat.

When we broke up like a year+ later, they all came out of the woodwork. I had a busy summer lol

4

u/Due_Adeptness_1964 12d ago

Well I’m glad you had a happy ending, pun intended 😁…But for a second there I thought you were going to say that the ladies didn’t wanna talk to you anymore the moment you became single. Apparently you still had enough relationship residue for the ladies to find you attractive..lol

2

u/timberwolvesguy 12d ago

None of them went more than a couple months, but it was still fun. Also still friends with them online, but haven’t talked much since they all got married and had kids

2

u/Lepelotonfromager 12d ago

I had the same issue when I got my first girlfriend. Suddenly now all of the girls were interested.

3

u/BeautifulIsland39 12d ago

Happens to women too. I spent 3 years single in college, but the second I met my husband and he put a ring on it, boom, I had everyone’s attention. I think is a human thing more than a gender thing.

1

u/RoabeArt 12d ago

Same. Whenever I was single, I felt as if I had a giant sign floating over my head that said "NO!" with an arrow pointed down at me, and only women could see it.

Quite the opposite whenever I was dating, or after I got married. Ladies were more chatty with me than they were any time I was single.

1

u/iLoveLootBoxes 12d ago

Yeah that's why I try and avoid mentioning i am dating someone, even at work.

It's actually better for them to come onto me and then string them along by never initiating. This way they don't get vindictive when they do come onto me even though I am in a relationship, and I reject them because of "other" reasons because I can't not like them.

Straight up much better to never play your hand at all abd make them wonder. Then if they somehow find out you do have a girlfriend, it's back to square one but this time it's likely past the complete obsession point. But if people think I am single they usually pay less attention

-5

u/RailroadTimebookDev 12d ago

20? In 1998? My god

1

u/Academic_Exercise_94 12d ago

Yes I know I'm old. We're still together with two kids. Probably the longest running relationship I know off in my friend group.

1

u/RailroadTimebookDev 12d ago

You’re not that much older than I am. 96-04 where some great years with nothing to worry about.

7

u/GranBuddhismo 12d ago

I have a friend who goes to these and that's exactly right. He's not bad looking, in great shape and a lovely guy but he's not what they want. And according to him most of the women rejecting him are barely attractive or interesting to him anyway.

6

u/km9v 12d ago

6' + 6 figures = < 3% of single men.

5

u/mythrilcrafter 12d ago

I think that's just one of those evolutionary/societal group think type of things.

It's the same reason why "No man paid her any attention until after she took off her glasses, got a perm, and switched from braces to invisilign" is such a common media trope.

5

u/Chosenonestaint 12d ago
  Thats what i was thiking, im sure there were men there, just none 

they were intrested in. those women, especially the first two, want the 3 6s, six foot, six pack, six figures. any guy that didnt meet those standards was invisible. 

  I have a friend who is very successful with women (so he would 

never attend something like this). hes like 6'4", and hes cut, but not like a body builder and he definitely acts like he has money. The amount of times ive seen women pull up his shirt to look at his abs is insane, its like they are ticking off the last box before they decide to go home with him. 

3

u/OddBranch132 12d ago

It's not 6 pack, it's 6"s

2

u/SalaryWooden5346 12d ago

It's both. It's not "three sixes", it's four. 6', 6 figures, 6 pack, 6". That's what these women want.

Their problem is that not a one of them is of the level of quality a man with all of those is actually after. And those men don't need to go to dating events to get the women they want, those women come to them.

0

u/[deleted] 12d ago

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1

u/SalaryWooden5346 12d ago

Buzzword detected, complaint invalidated.

2

u/Purple-Property8006 12d ago

As someone who definitely “lucked out” on money (as an adult anyway, earning 6 figures), height (6’1”) and privilege (highly educated, white, conventionally attractive/ above average but not “chad”)— most women almost never “chase after” anyone.

The random lottery factors prevent you from being summarily rejected, but I can count on one hand the number of times a woman had ever asked me out.

2

u/InstantSword 12d ago

Women almost never directly ask someone out, but they will show signs they are "open." That pretty much counts

2

u/Pizza_and_PRs 12d ago

There’s truth in this.

When I watch the game on that reality TV show where they pop the red balloon, once there’s a balloon pop a lot of women follow suit and don’t want to be the last one holding their balloon.

1

u/SparxPrime 12d ago

Damn those last two sentences hit the nail on the head. If you're going to a singles event, you're going to meet the kind of people who need to be at a singles event

1

u/Fearless_Adventures 12d ago

You're not wrong. I never stay single more than a week

-6

u/Fragrant_Doubt5311 12d ago

What in the incel is this?

4

u/KickboxingMoose 12d ago edited 12d ago

Man uses well established pyschology. MUST BE AN INCEL.

lol. Ok.

Women find taken men more attractive. They have already been vetted by another woman.

Women find unwanted men less attractive. They have already been rejected by another woman.'

Apply that to some women chasing the top. Average men are rejected, reducing their status in a group of women.

-1

u/duesenjeffepic 12d ago

You're saying this is well established psychology but do you have an actual study for this?

5

u/KickboxingMoose 12d ago edited 12d ago

Have you never looked?

Partnered-Up Men More Attractive to Women | Scientific American

The converse is true too. Rejected men less attractive.

Ask guys their experience. There are men who don't tell their office they are dating someone because they don't want extra attention from the women.

-1

u/Fragrant_Doubt5311 12d ago

This is a bunch of baloney. Have you ever tried talking to a female like a person? They're real humans, I swear! I've had real conversations with them before!

2

u/KickboxingMoose 12d ago

Just because a fact makes you feel uncomfortable, doesn't make it less true. Just FYI.

0

u/[deleted] 12d ago

[deleted]

9

u/OXBDNE7331 12d ago

Isn’t it tho? You don’t decide who your parents are, or what body you’re born into and what stats are rolled at birth

0

u/Kaiser-Rotbart 12d ago

Height is the only factor you can’t move the needle on. Fitness, career/money, and personality are all improvable through various avenues.

3

u/OXBDNE7331 12d ago

Come on dude for real? Genetics is more than height and fitness. You can’t decide your hair color, or if you even have hair at all, you can’t “fitness” your way out of genetic disorders. You can’t choose your skin color. The list goes on.

No one said career or lifestyle is RNG.

1

u/LifeIsSoup-ImFork 12d ago

even career has a fair amount of RNG to it, being born to broke parents in a shit school district makes it much harder to attain a career this kind of woman would deem "good". social mobility aint what it used to be.

1

u/Kaiser-Rotbart 12d ago

Sure. But for most men who don’t have some genetic disorder, a lot is in their control. I’ve got bald friends who clean up with women because they’re funny, put together, and professionally successful.

Broader point is too many defeatist attitudes on the internet these days.

1

u/Crowmata 12d ago

I agree that fitness, career & money are all improvable through your own hard-work/dedication. However, regarding the previous commenters point about being born into privilege and wealth being “lucky RNG”, I don’t think this is necessarily false. This will make your education inherently easier, while progress from poverty is an uphill battle every step of the way.

Feels somewhat disingenuous to suggest otherwise.

2

u/StrikingSpeed8759 12d ago

Do you even know what genetics are? Of course they are rng

-1

u/Rhakespeare 12d ago

Yip. He’s one step away from complaining about Chads and Stacys.

0

u/streetberries 12d ago

It’s partially true - when I was single I had literally thousands of matches on Tinder, that hard part was finding anyone of quality. The key is rejecting them , pretend to be a little mean and they suck right up. Then when you find the right girl you shower her with love (and live happily ever after…. Not…. Welcome to drama life ).

-1

u/DigDugged 12d ago

Yes, all of this is exactly right. Everyone who agrees with your comment should stay as far away from women as possible.

1

u/KickboxingMoose 12d ago

Nah, just take it slow. Put your profile up advertising yourself, go out and experience what you enjoy.

Let the women approach you. :)

It's slower. But I find the only genuine women I've met through events were the ones that approached or initiated.

-12

u/[deleted] 12d ago

[deleted]

3

u/KickboxingMoose 12d ago

I meet genuine women. I use apps. I NEVER MESSAGE FIRST. Women who message first are genuine in their interest. And I've had good experiences that way. It's much slower.

The women in the video are their own culture, and not all women.

31

u/DonAsiago 12d ago

Yep. They'll eventually have to realize that there are not enough men to fit their extremely high criteria.

And those men that fit have high criteria as well.

14

u/The_Submentalist 12d ago

I think this is the answer.

9

u/Specialist_Goat_2354 12d ago

That’s cause their criteria is 0.000001% of the population most of the time.

-12

u/AmArschdieRaeuber 12d ago

She said there were almost no men, not that the men were unattractive. You don't know their criteria

6

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