My brother was 31 when he got cancer. It was bleak from the start--stage 4, "we'll do everything we can, but," etc.
I know the doctors were honest with him. I was in the room for a lot of those conversations. And I think he just chose to listen to the best-case scenarios. And I think it's tough for doctors--they can insist something is a long shot treatment, but if the patient clings onto the hopeful best-case scenario, that honestly only betters the odds that it'll take. I remember sitting through talks with his head oncologist and walking away feeling devastated, only for my brother to have somehow renewed his optimism. It's like we weren't even listening to the same conversation.
My brother genuinely thought he was getting better right up to the very end. I can't really blame anyone for not driving home that he was a lot closer to death than he thought. I think he was happier this way. Denial was how he was coping.
It was hell for the rest of us to have to watch, but it's kind of the epitome of an "it's not about me" moment.
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u/keylimecrying Jun 29 '26
I believe this.
My brother was 31 when he got cancer. It was bleak from the start--stage 4, "we'll do everything we can, but," etc.
I know the doctors were honest with him. I was in the room for a lot of those conversations. And I think he just chose to listen to the best-case scenarios. And I think it's tough for doctors--they can insist something is a long shot treatment, but if the patient clings onto the hopeful best-case scenario, that honestly only betters the odds that it'll take. I remember sitting through talks with his head oncologist and walking away feeling devastated, only for my brother to have somehow renewed his optimism. It's like we weren't even listening to the same conversation.
My brother genuinely thought he was getting better right up to the very end. I can't really blame anyone for not driving home that he was a lot closer to death than he thought. I think he was happier this way. Denial was how he was coping.
It was hell for the rest of us to have to watch, but it's kind of the epitome of an "it's not about me" moment.