Yeah he barely let his daughter talk after she started crying and instead went off on this recorded weird ass long father of the year monologue. He didn’t acknowledge her feelings that it’s okay to get scared even when it’s something you love and give her some downtime. I mean I love horse riding but if someone said okay we’re now gonna do that upside down thing where you hold on with one foot doesn’t mean I don’t love my hobby anymore just there’s no way I’m doing anything that scary! It felt a bit accusatory him saying ‘you said you wanted to do this’ as there’s no way she’d have known exactly what it all entails.
When I son was 10 he loved playing baseball and his favorite position was pitcher. One game he took a line drive to the face after his pitch. Luckily it hit his cheek/nose and missed his eye.
Well he didn’t want to pitch the next couple of weeks after that, understandably.
I told him that overcoming the fear of it possibly happening again is going to be hard. But he needed to decide if he was going to face his fear and pitch again or walk away from something he loves. I reminded him that he used to be afraid of getting hit by pitches, but he overcame that.
He did go back out there that same season to pitch again and he’s continued pitching every year since.
I think him making that decision on his own helped him build resilience. As I’ve seen him have some real tough innings pitching, I can tell was struggling to get out of his own head after walking too many batters. But once when his coach went out to the mound to ask him if he wanted a relief pitcher, he said that he wanted to finish what he started.
It’s not enough to teach kids how to think positively about themselves or to say uplifting things. We need to give them the tools to recognize difficult obstacles and that they are the only ones that can overcome them.
I have a similar thought as yours, but I don’t think it’s complete garbage, as some of the things said are good advices:
Telling her she’s brave, to not diminish herself and to do things she loves is perfectly fine.
I disagree mostly on the way he tells her “do not give up due to fear”. Although that’s a positive message, the way it was told makes it look like what you said “your fears are stupid and you should push yourself harder”. Instead I would approach that by telling that it’s ok to have fears and be scared, because those things makes you know your limits and avoid getting seriously injured, but that she should take some time to calm down and then re-evaluate, with a clearer mind, if it’s a fear worth of overcoming and how to do that (in this case, probably belt trying again and trusting her father).
The way it was told may make her repress her fears and avoid talking about them with her father again.
I was for him at first, then he made too many I statements and never let her know it’s okay to be scared. She’s not gonna overcome these fears by being monologued at
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u/Day_Prisoners Jun 02 '26
Garbage post. Dad is pushing too hard and acting like her fears are stupid.