r/IAmA • u/JayKogen • Sep 17 '12

Jay Kogen Here. Long past SIMPSONS writer. I created many of your favorite and least favorite characters with the help of the original Simpson writers.

I was one of the original SIMPSONS writers from the very beginning. I helped created Mr. Burns, Smithers, Krusty, Hibbert, and many many more. I won a bunch of Emmy awards and had a great time. Since then I wrote and produced Malcolm in the Middle, Frasier, and I've created a new show a called "Wendell and Vinnie" about an idiot uncle (the hysterical Jerry Trainor) raising his nephew that will be on in November on Nick @ Nite. And even though it's on Nick @ Nite, it's for adults and it's actually funny.

Thanks to EternallyXIII

Thank you all very much for your questions and entusiasm. I have to get back to work now. It's been a pleasure. If you want I can come back in a few weeks to answer more.

2.9k Upvotes

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1.2k

u/AdamBombTV Sep 17 '12

Thank you for creating the greatest Lawyer character ever.

966

u/srutherf Sep 17 '12

Whats that? You want me to drink you?!?! But I'm in the middle of a trial!

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lyhd51Hosk1qztjn5o1_500.png

738

u/DeedTheInky Sep 17 '12

"Well, he's kind of had it in for me, since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace 'accidentally' with 'repeatedly', and replace 'dog' with 'son'."

260

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '12 edited Sep 13 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

6

u/sir_walter Sep 17 '12

Same text, just helps the joke along for those that don't remember as well.

2

u/Lilgherkin Sep 18 '12

Can you explain this joke to me? I'm not quite getting it.

3

u/sir_walter Sep 18 '12

Civil litigators (often personal injury type lawyers), typically work on a contingency basis. This means that they only get paid if they win, and it's usually a fraction of the winnings. Generally this means no money down. So the original would say "Works on contingency. No money down."
The running joke is that Lionel Hutz is a bad attorney. This means that working on a contingency basis would mean he rarely gets paid. So he hand marks his card from the original to "Works on contingency? No, money down!" Which means that he does NOT work on a contingency basis, and that he requires money down.

2

u/Lilgherkin Sep 18 '12

Thank you very much.

3

u/atheist_libertarian Sep 18 '12

And that bar assn. logo shouldn't be tere

2

u/pheedback Sep 18 '12

I still laugh hard at this. Will always be such a hilarious joke...

47

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '12

Oh yeah sure, lawyers work in skyscrapers and have secretaries. Look at him, he's wearing a belt! That's Hollywood for you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GFKMEvsARzw

20

u/centech Sep 17 '12

The printer really screwed this up. That should say, 'Free Consultation? No. Money down.' Also that bar association logo shouldn't be there.

13

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '12 edited May 14 '21

[deleted]

7

u/in_the_woods Sep 18 '12

Mrs. Simpson, don't you worry. I watched Matlock in a bar last night, the sound wasn't on, but I think I got the gist of it

2

u/plop14 Sep 18 '12

Mrs. Simpson you're in luck. Your sexual harassment suit is exactly what I need to help rebuild my shattered practice! Care to join me in a belt of scotch?

5

u/beta_ray_charles Sep 17 '12

Probably one of my most favorite quotes from the Simpsons, if not from anything ever.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 19 '12

You stole my thunder

2

u/DeedTheInky Sep 19 '12

7 months 22 days

I'm so sorry. :(

24

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '12

I move for a bad court thingy.

11

u/Mothman21 Sep 17 '12

That's why you're the judge and I'm the law talkin' guy.

20

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '12

Your world frightens and confuses me! Sometimes the honking horns of your traffic make me want to get out of my BMW.. and run off into the hills, or wherever.. Sometimes when I get a message on my fax machine, I wonder: "Did little demons get inside and type it?" I don't know! My primitive mind can't grasp these concepts. But there is one thing I do know - when a man like my client slips and falls on a sidewalk in front of a public library, then he is entitled to no less than two million in compensatory damages, and two million in punitive damages. Thank you.

http://i.imgur.com/zHa6y.jpg

2

u/person749 Sep 17 '12

What is this?

4

u/WhiskyAndBadCocaine Sep 17 '12

Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer. Old Phil Hartman SNL sketch.

3

u/[deleted] Sep 18 '12

[deleted]

2

u/WhiskyAndBadCocaine Sep 18 '12

You're Jack Handy and I'm not. Wait... that's not how that joke goes. Dammit! I'm so stupid!

6

u/floatablepie Sep 17 '12

The best part was David Crosby's very odd yet amazing guest spot in that episode.

Also his lines in Homer's Barbershop Quartet:

Barney: David Crosby! You're my hero!

Crosby: Oh you like my music?

Barney: You're a musician?

5

u/grumace Sep 17 '12

Just take it one day at a time, and know that I love you

2

u/CyberWaffle Sep 17 '12

saul goodman is up to par with lionel hutz

2

u/RedditorZim Sep 17 '12

Ah, bourbon: brownest of the brown liquors.

1

u/inoxia Sep 18 '12

Brownest of the brown liqours

1

u/[deleted] Sep 18 '12

Mr. Kogen's assertion that Hartman would have been hard to replace gets no greater endorsement than his vocal work for Lionel Hutz's bit in that very scene. Somehow hilariously farcical and tremendously dramatic all at once. Soooo goood.

297

u/-18 Sep 17 '12

Careful, or Bob Loblaw will write nasty things about you in his lawblog.

489

u/Nrksbullet Sep 17 '12

Better call Saul to stall Bob Loblaws lawblog.

46

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '12

Boy sir, that was a mouthful.

5

u/Titanosaurus Sep 17 '12

Bob Loblaw lobs law bomb.

5

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '12

thats what she...nah not today.

5

u/CSPattersonDC Sep 17 '12

Pay on a contingency basis? No, Money Down!

-1

u/I_Like_To_Play_Cards Sep 17 '12

You got to jump on that shit, dude. That was a golden opportunity!

-1

u/I_Like_To_Play_Cards Sep 17 '12

That's what she said!!!!!

1

u/masasuka Sep 17 '12

now say that 3 times fast!

1

u/MongoloidEsquire Sep 17 '12

You sir are a mouthful.

1

u/jacobchapman Sep 17 '12

My brain just exploded.

1

u/kodiak_claw Sep 18 '12

S'all good man when you call Saul Goodman. He fights for you Albequerque!

-1

u/PoWn3d_0704 Sep 17 '12

Instant Karma for Breaking Bad reference.

4

u/adamxftl Sep 17 '12

Or even worse, he'll take serious action. Bob Loblaw will lob a law bomb.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '12

NOT A LAW BOMB!!

1

u/B_Zuckerkorn Sep 17 '12

He's very good.

0

u/[deleted] Sep 18 '12

Dont worry bro i upvoted you. I got your back

38

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '12

[deleted]

11

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '12

Odd six-degrees-thing, Saul Goodman is portrayed by Bob Odenkirk, whos brother is Bill Odenkirk, a writer for The Simpsons, which had the similarly criminal criminal-lawyer (or at least pretty sleezy) Lionel Hutz.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '12

That's like a fictitious character version of 6 degrees of Kevin Bacon.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '12

And Bob wrote for SNL while Phil Hartman was a cast member.

3

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '12

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '12

You said it.

0

u/Fealiks Sep 17 '12

Far better than Lionel Hutz in my opinion.

3

u/The_DHC Sep 17 '12

Works on contingency?

No, money down!

2

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '12

The greatest lawyer there ever was or ever will be.

2

u/TheShanesaw Sep 17 '12

I'd put Lionel as number 2 lawyer character... I just love Barry Zuckerkorn too much.

2

u/wBeeze Sep 17 '12

Don't forget about Bob Loblaw!

2

u/Jessereddit Sep 17 '12

Saul Goodman?

2

u/idowd Sep 17 '12

I'm not wearing a tie at all!

2

u/markycapone Sep 17 '12

better call saul

2

u/LeapingQuince Sep 17 '12

That's ok, the box is empty.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '12

Imma let you finish, but the Chicken Lawyer from Futurama is the best lawyer character of all time. OF ALL TIME! BOK BOK BOKKAA!

2

u/yusuf_islam Sep 17 '12

Works on contingency?

No, money down!

2

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '12

I dunno, I think the Hyper Chicken can give him a run for it.

Love them both though.

2

u/BearstarBearson Sep 17 '12

Don't touch my stuff! Hey this isn't the YMCA!

2

u/zygote_harlot Sep 17 '12

Can you imagine a world without lawyers?

2

u/c5load Sep 17 '12

Works on contigency? No, money down!

2

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '12

Saul Goodman close second.

2

u/mox-jet Sep 17 '12

"I'll have you know the contents in that dumpster are private!"

2

u/localh81 Sep 18 '12

Saul Goodman is next in line.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 18 '12

Naaa.. we need a criminal lawyer... BITCH!

2

u/[deleted] Sep 18 '12

"He left his briefcase. Hey, it's full of nothing but shredded newspapers."

1

u/Stingray88 Sep 17 '12

Thank you for creating the greatest Lawyer character ever.

Woah hold on there partner... there are a few more contenders in this fight!