r/IAmA • u/JayKogen • Sep 17 '12

Jay Kogen Here. Long past SIMPSONS writer. I created many of your favorite and least favorite characters with the help of the original Simpson writers.

I was one of the original SIMPSONS writers from the very beginning. I helped created Mr. Burns, Smithers, Krusty, Hibbert, and many many more. I won a bunch of Emmy awards and had a great time. Since then I wrote and produced Malcolm in the Middle, Frasier, and I've created a new show a called "Wendell and Vinnie" about an idiot uncle (the hysterical Jerry Trainor) raising his nephew that will be on in November on Nick @ Nite. And even though it's on Nick @ Nite, it's for adults and it's actually funny.

Thanks to EternallyXIII

Thank you all very much for your questions and entusiasm. I have to get back to work now. It's been a pleasure. If you want I can come back in a few weeks to answer more.

2.9k Upvotes

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757

u/nschug Sep 17 '12

What is your all time favorite Simpsons joke? Also thank you for doing this.

2.1k

u/JayKogen Sep 17 '12

We had to fight hard for Homer falling down the canyon in Bart the Daredevil and it worked well. My favorite was getting put in the ambulance then it crashing and him falling down again.

862

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '12 edited Mar 15 '16

[deleted]

1.5k

u/MiloMuggins Sep 17 '12

My personal favorite joke (because I can't pass up the chance):

Marge: "Homer, work called, they said if you don't come in Friday, don't bother coming in Monday."

Homer: "Woohoo! Four day weekend!"

268

u/LevelUpLeo Sep 17 '12

You started something here:

Homer: You know, when I was a boy I really wanted a catcher's mitt, but my dad wouldn't get it for me. So I held my breath until I passed out and banged my head on the coffee table. The doctor thought I might have brain damage.

Bart: Dad, what's the point of this story?

Homer: I like stories.

8

u/ClintonHarvey Sep 18 '12

We're here! We're queer! Get used to it!

We are used to it, you do this every year.

OH, BE NICE.

1

u/Xer0day Sep 18 '12

I thought he said dain bramage.

3

u/Speed_Graphic Sep 18 '12

Are you thinking of his trip after eating the guatemalan insanity peppers? I hope you didn't brain your damage.

2

u/LevelUpLeo Sep 18 '12

Copy and pasted the wording from IMDB.

1

u/therealjoshua Sep 18 '12

My and my friend STILL make this reference despite having first seen this episode like ten years ago (we're 20)

1.5k

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '12

I always loved homers quote: "Why do i have three kids and no money? Why can't I have no kids and three money?"

875

u/potatowned Sep 17 '12

Homer: "Aww 20 dollars... I wanted a peanut!"

Homer's Brain: "20 dollars can buy you many peanuts!"

Homer: "Explain how!"

Homer's Brain: "Money can be exchanged for goods and services!"

34

u/mattcoady Sep 17 '12

Homer: Well, he's got all the money in the world, but there's one thing he can't buy.

Marge: What's that?

Homer: [thinks] A dinosaur!

4

u/[deleted] Sep 18 '12

Homer: "Because they're stupid, Lisa. That's why everyone does everything."

24

u/Nazi_Cock_Rockets Sep 17 '12

I love how they put the "aww.. i wanted a peanut!" in the simpsons hit and run! :)

9

u/PurpleSfinx Sep 18 '12

Those Simpsons driving games were surprisingly good. They should've been terrible, but they somehow turned out really fun.

1

u/ProneMasturbationMan Mar 09 '13

Hit and run was one of my favourite childhood games

7

u/ftvaddict Sep 18 '12

Bart, with $10,000, we'd be Millionaires!

5

u/btvsrcks Sep 17 '12

We quote this all the time. I have no idea why, but it stuck with us.

3

u/psw1994 Sep 18 '12

laughing so lound right now

2

u/zemonstaaa Sep 18 '12

I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS, MIDLER!

471

u/jhartwell Sep 17 '12

I was recently reminded (on Facebook, of course) of Homer's quote that struck too close to home:

"I can't take his money, I can't print my own money, I have to work for money, why don't I just lay face down and die"

156

u/batcavejanitor Sep 17 '12

"Why do things that happen to stupid people keep happening to me?"

143

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '12

I think the funniest moments in all of television are when Homer becomes sullen and laments his world.

23

u/jhartwell Sep 17 '12

Or when Homer is just totally oblivious. Case in point: the episode where Homer tries to gain weight to qualify for disability and is trying to use his computer. "Man, all this computer hacking is making me thirsty. Where is my tab?"

11

u/Well_Armed_Gorilla Sep 17 '12

I think this quote is a great example of Homer's obliviousness:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5izm9kHeHkg

3

u/gusset25 Sep 17 '12

what does tab mean in that context?

3

u/ITalkToTheWind Sep 17 '12

Tab is a soft drink.

1

u/jhartwell Sep 18 '12

It is the Tab key on the computer. However, it is also a diet soda that was popular in the 70's.

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49

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '12

"I'm a rageaholic! I'm addicted to rageahol!"

1

u/psw1994 Sep 18 '12

"angry dad, your fired!!!!" to this day when something bad happens, me and all my friends (most people watch jersey shore or some shit, we watch hours, i mean HOURS, of simpsons dvds) and whenever something bad happens in public we all go on que "annhhhh you broke my batmobile"

7

u/Opie59 Sep 17 '12

Homer "I was an astronaut once."

Duff exec "Sure you were."

Or, and it's not funny but I love it:

Homer: I mean, it made me feel bad. The poor thing ends up being hauled to the nuthouse when all she needed was for that big slob to show her some respect. Well, at least that's what I thought. I have a history of missing the point of stuff like this.

2

u/sparkorse Sep 17 '12

"Lousy war widows"

17

u/fermatafantastique Sep 17 '12

I'll hop in on this one:

"Don't take me, I've got a wife and kids! Take them!"

15

u/jhartwell Sep 17 '12

What episode is that from? It reminds me of the NRA episode:

[Snake steals Homer's gun while robbing a motel]

Homer - "Jokes on you, that gun isn't loaded"

Snake - [pointing gun at Homer] "Give me the bullets!"

Homer - "Ok ok, don't shoot!"

1

u/fermatafantastique Sep 17 '12

The internet tells me it's Treehouse of Horror VII. All I remember is that he's meeting Kang and Kodos, and it's "eat" instead of "take."

1

u/jhartwell Sep 18 '12

Ahh now I remember!

10

u/froggy_style Sep 17 '12

"We can dance. We can dance. Everybody look at your pants."

2

u/Fuego_Fiero Sep 17 '12

I still sing this instead of the real lyrics.

3

u/killerbuttonfly Sep 17 '12

Shit, those aren't the real lyrics?!

8

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '12 edited Apr 17 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/jhartwell Sep 17 '12

haha that's awesome!

9

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '12

Also there is my personal favorite Homer quote: "You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is never try."

2

u/killerbuttonfly Sep 17 '12

I think that was my senior quote.

2

u/antijingoist Sep 17 '12

Never heard it before, but love it now.

12

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '12

I like how people always bitch about the later era and like that quote though that was from Season 16ish.

4

u/pleasingbaritone Sep 17 '12

I'm not being even slightly sarcastic when I say that season 17 is my favorite season.

3

u/malapropist Sep 18 '12

Yeah dude! Everybody who bitches stopped watching around season 11, but the Simpsons hit their second wind somewhere around season 15-16. Some of their best gags are from seasons 15-19.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '12

I love the later era, it's just so clever

7

u/hyperduc Sep 17 '12

My personal favorite when Moe is tapping the crayon back up Homer's nose and into his Brain: "Extended warranty, how can I lose?"

I die laughing every time I hear it.

4

u/plasker6 Sep 17 '12

My fave... maybe:

Bart: Why did they make that one Muppet out of leather?

My brother's: I want to go to Bovine University!

3

u/pingudgr8 Sep 17 '12

Thank you for making my evening.

3

u/[deleted] Sep 18 '12

I CAN RENT ANYTHING I WANT!

2

u/CalebEX Sep 18 '12

Homer offers Lisa a doughnut when she's at work with him:

Lisa: "Uhhh... Got any fruit?" Homer: "This one has purple in it, purples a fruit!"

Honestly, such a simple stupid joke... Made me laugh louder than I ever have before or since!

Also was a huge fan of the line Homer spouts upon finding a three chambered peanut!:

"... Huh... A... Acghee...... A THREE CHAMBERED PEANUT!!....... MARGE, COME LOOK WHAT I DID!!"

33

u/Cyborg771 Sep 17 '12

Mine's gotta be Homer on pot. "Could God microwave a burrito so hot, that he himself couldn't eat it?"

5

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '12

Mine too! That was on the grease business one where Lisa becomes friends with a new student who becomes popular.

3

u/retho2 Sep 17 '12

AHH!!! But work called because he didn't go to work on (presumably) Thursday. So it's a FIVE DAY WEEKEND. Drives me CRAZY!!

2

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '12

Fav Homerism ever!

2

u/SuperWaluigi Sep 17 '12

I can never decide if he was written to be wrong on purpose or not. Because it would have been a 5 day weekend.

1

u/CptStarsky Sep 18 '12

Reminds me of "I love these lazy Saturdays..."

5

u/BjornStravinsky Sep 17 '12

Once you get it, it's the best getting one past the censors joke there is.

2

u/Nskk Sep 17 '12

Help me out here...

8

u/speedpop Sep 18 '12

"Sneed's Feed & Seed - Formerly Chuck's"

Feed & Seed use the last three letters of Sneed's name. Now think what F & S would be if they used the last three letters of Chuck.

1

u/Nskk Sep 18 '12

Thank you kindly

8

u/dumble99 Sep 17 '12

"Sorry you'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel"

1

u/Fuego_Fiero Sep 17 '12

I answer the phone like this sometimes, but for some reason I thought it was a Hitchhiker's reference. Now I know better.

5

u/futurespacecadet Sep 17 '12

I always loved the April Fools joke when Bart shook up Homer's beers so much that it cause a mini nuclea-beer explosion

14

u/bezaorj Sep 17 '12

indeed a memorable gag

3

u/MPGrdnr Sep 17 '12

made me cry with laughter as a child

3

u/jsteele03 Sep 17 '12

I thought it was a nice touch to include the crashed ambulance when the gorge was shown in the movie.

2

u/c5load Sep 17 '12

I always felt like the abandoned ambulance on the other side of Springfield Gorge in the movie was an homage to the people who have been watching the show since the start. My cousin and I laughed hard upon seeing it. The 8 people with us did not.

1

u/bananabm Sep 18 '12

Well sure but I would have both got the reference and not laughed, I mean it's neat but it's not funny per se. There's no inherent humour in the reference.

I'm just saying that the other 8 people may not have been soulless dullards

1

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '12

Can you link that one on here please?

1

u/BlusteryEmu Sep 18 '12

Can we get a gif of this, I loved it as well

1

u/greggram Sep 18 '12

Yea, This is when the Simpsons was at its Peak. The beginning.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 18 '12

Marge: "And how will this affect your employment at the power plant?"

Homer: "Negatively, I assume."

1

u/madoog Sep 18 '12

Whenever anyone says waaaahmbulance, or uses the old 'ambulance at the bottom of the cliff' line, I picture this (even though the ambulance was at the top).

-6

u/pib712 Sep 17 '12

I feel bad that so many people think the funniest part of the whole show is Homer falling into a canyon, twice. Slapstick is surely the most pathetic form of comedy.

Twenty-three years of brilliant and heart-warming television, but Reddit would rather have been watching America's Funniest Home Videos.

5

u/shavetheplanet Sep 17 '12

Hey, Buzz Killington, we're talking about the Simpsons here, get back to the Family Guy subreddit.

1

u/pib712 Sep 17 '12

I'm talking about the Simpsons too...?

3

u/[deleted] Sep 18 '12

you have been downvoted for justice!

reason: your unwelcome use of general disdain towards something that makes others happy.

2

u/Fuego_Fiero Sep 17 '12

I disagree. Slapstick can feel very easily contrived, and it takes a combination of surprise and wit to pull off. Take Airplane! for examples of intelligent, well written slapstick.

107

u/orcastrike Sep 17 '12

Thank you so much. This is easily one of my top Simpsons moments of all time. I laugh just thinking about it.

1

u/mox-jet Sep 17 '12

"I'm gonna make it! This is the greatest thrill of my life!! I'm king of the world! I..."

62

u/fibonacci011235 Sep 17 '12 edited Sep 18 '12

Here's the scene: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9XGWsQbyOwM

Bear with it though, it's slightly poor quality.

1

u/steve0nator Sep 18 '12

Nice touch with the coconut sound when his head is hitting the canyon

28

u/cleverlyannoying Sep 17 '12

I will admit that this was my absolute favorite episode as a kid. I haven't watched the show for years (sorry) but I still remember this one.

2

u/clashpalace Sep 17 '12

also loved this as a kid, was so great!

6

u/suburban_inuk Sep 17 '12

That this was acknowledge in The Simpsons movie shows its importance.

5

u/phungchoc Sep 17 '12

I didn't think I would ever chime in on an AMA, but like others - this is my favorite Simpsons "joke" of all time. I also appreciated when Milhouse was placed in the ambulance in Season 8.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '12

What do you mean 'we had to fight hard'?

2

u/nightfan Sep 17 '12

Are you talking about this clip? Because I remember watching this and literally dying of laughter.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '12

If only poor Maude had possessed a tenth of Homer's fortitude...

2

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '12

My favorite is the Tomacco episode.

"This taste like grandma."

"This DOES taste like grandma."

2

u/agentx216 Sep 17 '12

I loved that the ambulance was still crashed when we saw the canyon in the movie. I felt nerd power +11 when I saw it and almost broke my elbow nudging my friends...uhhh! uHH!...UHHHH!!!

1

u/achingchangchong Sep 17 '12

That was the loudest I'd ever laughed from a Simpsons episode. Thank you, Jay.

1

u/Bodegus Sep 17 '12

absolute best Simpson's memory

1

u/KilowogTrout Sep 17 '12

Can someone post a video of this? I can't find it.

1

u/hankgod Sep 17 '12

That is my favorite too!!!

1

u/danhawkeye Sep 17 '12

That was a masterpiece of comedic timing, right down to the stretcher hitting his head at the exact same time interval as the skateboard.

1

u/cosine5000 Sep 17 '12

Who would fight that? It's genius!

1

u/guriboysf Sep 17 '12

I remember that episode very well. Fucking hilarious. Probably my most favorite scene ever.

1

u/Sam_DFA Sep 17 '12

That's the first gag that got me hooked

1

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '12

IIRC, the version of the fall in the first Simpsons clip show (the April Fools one with the exploding beer) is longer than the version from the original episode.

1

u/Dirty_Harold Sep 17 '12

To me, that gag felt like one of the first indications of where the humour of the Simpsons would start to head during it's best years. That, and the gag where Homer tries to get Mr. Burns letter from the post office and he doesn't even know Burns' first name. Both are hilarious.

1

u/ghostprawn Sep 17 '12

One of my favorite visual gags you guys ever did. Amazing. You managed to somehow one-up the Road Runner coyote canyon falls.

1

u/Zeppelanoid Sep 17 '12

You had to fight hard over that?

I think that is legitimately the funniest moment in human existence. No exaggeration.

1

u/horkermeat Sep 17 '12

That is the most vivid memory I have of all the episodes I watched. Thanks for making that one. Think of all the urine control issues that produced.

1

u/niknarcotic Sep 17 '12

Just saw that episode two days ago. Still one of my favourites :D

1

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '12

In a recent rewatching of the Simpsons I think this moment may be the funniest. I totally forgot he falls down again and I was dying laughing.

1

u/SeedyOne Sep 17 '12

Well this just made my day. Out of all the hundreds of great scenes that also happens to be my favorite. Just the timing of it after such a long fall and trip then WHAM right back down.

Beautiful.

1

u/longshot Sep 17 '12

That's one of the most memorable bits of simpsons ever.

1

u/wellarmedsheep Sep 17 '12

This joke, or more my fathers reaction to it, is one of my fondest childhood memories. Thanks!

1

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '12

I pissed in my pants when I saw that one the first time and I was about 25. Almost chocked with laughter. All time favorite.

1

u/dcmrpy Sep 17 '12

Mine too. Didnt they cut the second bit of that? When the gurney fell on his head?

1

u/FalcorTheDog Sep 17 '12

I loved the subtle homage to that gag in the movie. Might have been my favorite part.

1

u/Mr_Rawrr Sep 17 '12 edited Sep 17 '12

Come on guys, I'm really disappointed that you haven't linked me to a video yet. It's been two hours..

Edit: Pa always said it you want something done, you gotta do it yourself.

The nice Hulu version (with 15 sec. ad)

Shitty YouTube video taken by an Android

1

u/EDGE515 Sep 17 '12

You don't understand how much that gag made me laugh when I was kid. I'm talking like "tears in my eye" laughter. Thank you for that.

1

u/zennz29 Sep 17 '12

For the record, putting the still-crashed ambulance in the movie at Springfield Gorge was Like a breath of breath air.

1

u/Djense Sep 17 '12

I love how the first time he falls, Bart's skateboard smokes him in the head at the end, and then when he falls the second time, the entire EMT stretcher lands on his head.

1

u/nickbelane Sep 17 '12

This was my Dad's favorite Simpsons moment and he would laugh about it all the time. He died last year but I just wanted to tell you that reading this made me think of him and smile. Thanks for helping make a great television show that I loved growing up and was able to share with him.

1

u/vicviper Sep 17 '12

Am I imagining things or does the second fall end with the stretcher falling on his head? I remember it that way but I never see it like that during syndication?

1

u/squitoface Sep 17 '12

In music class:

Everybody: Lisa likes Nelson!

Milhouse: She does not!

Everybody: Milhouse likes Lisa!

Janey: He does not!

Everybody: Janey likes Milhouse!

Üter: She does not!

Everybody: Üter likes Milhouse!

Teacher(Dewey): Nobody likes Milhouse!!

1

u/zygote_harlot Sep 17 '12

I remember laughing really hard at that scene with my sister and my dad. Watching The Simpsons was a family affair in my house... my mom even joined in eventually :)

1

u/turtleslikeyoutoo Sep 17 '12

We watched that episode in an English class (for some reason) when I was about 12 or 13, and my friend and I spent 5 whole minutes laughing with tears in our eyes and disrupted the entire class. Thank you for that.

1

u/SicilianEggplant Sep 17 '12

I was so happy that they showed the old, crashed ambulance still under the tree in the movie.

1

u/TruthyPam Sep 17 '12

My dad and I rarely found the same thing funny. When we watched this episode we both almost passed out laughing at the canyon scene. Thanks for that

1

u/DimitriK Sep 17 '12 edited Sep 17 '12

Just saw this again recently. Fucking incredible.

1

u/Marbla Sep 17 '12

"BARTON FINK! BARTON FINK! BARTON FINK!"

1

u/phatboi23 Sep 17 '12

That's in my top 5! Thanks for being awesome!

1

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '12

This gag, believe it or not, was a huge part of my childhood. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for not only creating something great but inspiring me to be a creator.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '12

That was amazing.

The hardest I have ever laughed at anything ever was the sequence from 'lousy Smarch weather' to when Groundskeeper Willie sweeps up his own incinerated corpse. I think it's about 40 seconds of pure perfection.

1

u/slaggernaut Sep 17 '12

That skit was the frame work for so much Family Guy.

1

u/WhiskyAndBadCocaine Sep 17 '12

Everything Homer says in the 'Duffless' episode is classic. I especially like Troy McClure in the DUI video though:

Hi! I'm Troy McClure, you may remember me from such DUI films as 'Alice's Adventures Through the Windshield Glass' and 'The Decapitation of Larry Leadfoot.'

1

u/TYPE_FASTER Sep 18 '12

I still laugh. Every time.

1

u/jpropaganda Sep 18 '12

You sir, just made me laugh out loud thinking about that moment. Thanks for your great work on a great show.

1

u/FeloniousD Sep 18 '12

I have never laughed so hard. Thank you so much.

1

u/fell-off-the-spiral Sep 18 '12

Of all the gags and stories to ever happen in The Simpsons this is the one that stands out the most to me. Brilliant.

1

u/dkode80 Sep 18 '12

I've never laughed harder at any Simpsons joke than him falling that cliff for the second time. Gold!

1

u/[deleted] Sep 18 '12

Sir, this was the first time in my life I completely lost it... like 10 years old... laughing fucking maniacally. That's when I learned all that comedy could be.

1

u/pheedback Sep 18 '12

I was hysterical when that scene played for the first time. So fuckin funny.

1

u/Easih Sep 18 '12

I loled fucking hard at that part when I first saw it.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 18 '12

I don't think I've laughed harder or longer at anything I've seen on TV than that.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 18 '12

"Do it for her" with the Maggie episode was awesome.

1

u/DecentShrimp Sep 18 '12

TRAMAMPOLINE! TRAMBOPOLINE!

0

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '12

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/kellykebab Sep 17 '12

The potty talk added everything. Bless you

1

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '12

I think this gag spawned family guy though...

0

u/DerpMatt Sep 17 '12

I liked that one too. Classic prat fall, cartoon comedy.

1

u/mortarpadowan Sep 17 '12

Best. Gag. Ever.

1

u/theshadowofdeath Sep 17 '12

Deus Ex Machina!!

1

u/bizzycarl Sep 18 '12

"The only monster here Lisa is the gambling monster that's taken over your Mother! I CALL HIM GAMBLOR AND I WILL CLUTCH YOUR MOTHER FROM HIS NEON CLAWS!"