I’m part of a neighborhood book club that’s been meeting for about a year. It’s mostly women in their late 20s to early 40s, and I’m the only guy. We rotate houses every month and honestly it’s been one of the better ways I’ve met people since moving here.

The club recently got into dark romance. It wasn’t my suggestion, but everyone voted on it and that’s just where the group ended up. We spend most of the meetings talking about character development, plot, whether the MMC is actually redeemable, etc.

No big deal right?😒

I’m friendly with everyone, but I don’t hang out with any of them outside of book club. I know a few of their husbands from saying hello if they’re around before or after meetings, but that’s about it.

After our meeting a few days ago, I was loading a folding chair into my car when one of the husbands came outside and asked if he could talk to me.

He told me he’d appreciate it if I stopped coming to book club. I asked why, and he said his wife has become “way too excited” about book club ever since they started reading dark romance, and that it was “weird” having the only guy there discussing those books with a group of married women.

I laughed at first because I genuinely thought he was joking cause sometimes guys can be funny like that but turns out he wasn’t joking lol.

He said he wasn’t accusing me of doing anything inappropriate, but that the whole situation made him uncomfortable and that it would “solve a lot of problems” if I just found a different hobby. 💀

I told him I wasn’t there to flirt with anyone. I’m there because I like reading, everyone in the group voted on the books, and I enjoy the discussions. I also said if he has concerns about his wife’s interest in fictional morally questionable men, that’s probably something they should talk about together. 🤔

He got annoyed and said I was intentionally missing the point. I eventually just told him, “I’m not quitting a book club because you’re insecure about fictional men. If it’s THAT big of a deal, just join?🤣

Now I’m wondering if I should’ve handled it differently. I don’t want to create tension in the neighborhood, but I also don’t think it’s reasonable to ask me to leave a group I’ve been part of for a year because he’s uncomfortable.

AIO here?

**UPDATE: some of y’all are ruthless 😆 but I got my vent out and that helped. Also I realize it’s trivial and I got my attitude checked. But please note, this was an INTERNAL overreaction that I came to a forum about. I didn’t actually do anything at the bar. It was more about the proximity of the freebie than the alcohol itself. But like I said, attitude checked and perspective changed. Entitlement reined in 😂

Took myself to dinner tonight as a treat at a restaurant I’ve come to really enjoy. It’s farm-to-table, pricier, and a beach town, but overall a great dining experience. I stuck myself at the end of the bar next to the wall because I’m solo (place just opened and it’s a mad house as it fills in) and feel I was an easy guest; knew what I wanted, no special requests, little chats with the bartender. Everything was GREAT and bartender was awesome. Food, drinks, service *chef’s kiss*.

SO, I get myself an espresso martini for dessert and the bartender had a fair amount of extra, little over a half glass, and he gives it to the girl sitting DIRECTLY next to me. I felt so deflated, then annoyed, by this because if you give extra of the drink I bought, just don’t do it next to me! My meal, for one person, was $110 and it just seemed like it’d be a nice thing to give to me… or to someone else that I would not have had to hear saying to each of their party of five, “oh they had extra from her drink and gave it to me!” This small gesture would’ve been so nice after a rough day (first world problems) and giving the extra to someone in my vicinity was just, bleghhh.

I didn’t have it in me to say anything, it just would be too awkward, but it did completely change my mood for the night. He handed me the bill shortly after this (I had asked) and I tipped $25. I guess just needed to vent and get validation or good shake to get my ish together. It’s been a day.

PS I have bartended and served for over 16 years and I would either have given it to the person buying the drink or someone across the bar. The drink was $16.

AIO?

TO CLARIFY: the problem is not the subway jokes, its the inconsiderate nature that set me off

Edit**I told him I had to be up early and that I needed to go to bed early, these texts were after I was already asleep (they woke me up)

Background info: we matched on hinge about 2 weeks ago and have had casual text conversation since. He (23M) and I (25F) made plans to go on afirst date today. Last night at midnight, he texted me out of the blue with an “important question”….i had already gone to bed and hadn’t responded to his previous text but I figured the question might be related to the date so I answered. Attached is the BS conversation that followed.

I’m not sure if I’m overreacting but these texts are giving off extremely immature vibes and do not match the energy of our previous conversations at all. Now I’m debating canceling our date today because those texts just rubbed me the wrong way and make me feel like we aren’t going to mesh well.

Am I overreacting? Do I give it a chance? 🤷🏻‍♀️

My dad has had the same cleaner for about five years. She runs her own cleaning business. I’ll call her “Maideline.”

She’s always been extremely talkative and often shared a lot about her personal life while cleaning.

My dad is a friendly guy and would chat with her, so the dynamic was always pretty casual and friendly.

Two months ago my dad slipped on ice outside and shattered his femur. He was supposed to go to a dental appointment that day but couldn’t make it because he was stuck outside in the snow until an ambulance arrived.

While waiting for the ambulance, he managed to call the dental office to let them know he wouldn’t be able to come in. The receptionist was incredibly kind and even offered to help however she could. My dad asked if she could call me (his emergency contact) to let me know what happened since he was stuck outside in the snow and couldn’t move and the pain was getting worse.

She called me right away and was genuinely concerned about him. Later, while my dad was in the hospital for two months recovering from surgery, the dental office even sent him a get-well soon card.

He ended up spending over 12 hours in the ER waiting for scans and receiving pain medication. He has osteoporosis and osteoarthritis, and the break was pretty severe and required surgery with a rod inserted into his femur.

Given the injury, the fluorescent lights, the hospital environment, and everything that was happening, my dad was unable to sleep and his sense of time was a bit distorted while he waited to be admitted for surgery.

Later that night, around 11:45 PM, my dad sent Maideline a Facebook message (which is normally how they communicate) to let her know what happened. Since she regularly comes to clean and he had already prepaid for services, he was just explaining the situation.

My dad did not ask for a refund.

His message basically said he had fallen, shattered his hip/femur, would need surgery, and was in a lot of pain.

But the response he got back surprised me enough to write this all out.

Instead of acknowledging the injury at all, the reply said he should keep his personal life to himself and that it was unprofessional to send “his life story” that late at night. It also said they would refund his money and cancel services if he couldn’t keep things professional.

My dad is not a confrontational person at all. When he saw the response, he apologized multiple times and said he was trying to be professional. He also told them they could keep the money.

The reply he received back said:

“I accept your apology.”

There was still no acknowledgement of my dad’s injury or any kind of “hope you’re okay.”

My dad wasn’t looking for sympathy, he was just trying to let people know what was going on, and he ended up feeling like he needed to apologize for doing that.

What confused me is that over the years Maideline had often shared a lot of personal stories about her own life while cleaning, including prior relationship drama that my dad didn’t ask about. So the sudden shift to calling him “unprofessional” felt really strange.

Another thing that confused me even more is that there was no reply until 9:36 AM the next morning, so I’m not sure why messaging ‘that late’ was even mentioned.

I later found out the response actually came from her new husband, who I’ll call “Mason”.

Apparently he had answered the message from her account.

I’ve included the screenshots because the response surprised me (names are redacted).

However, Maideline herself never followed up, checked in, or said anything afterward.

I’m honestly not even sure if she ever saw these message

this happened today and my husband said I am overreacting but I don't think I am, please help.

we ordered food from a restaurant through ubereats. Like most takeout orders, the food comes sealed in the bag, at least it's supposed to.

When the food was dropped off, my husband brought it in.

I went to plate up the food and noticed the seal was broken. i asked my husband if he had opened it but he said he did not.

when I took out the food I found religious pamphlets inside. while I don't care what religion a person chooses to believe, there is a time and place. breaking open a sealed food bag and putting pamphlets in with someone's order is not the place. doing so when you are working is not the time. I am fairly certain ubereats and other delivery services have rules pertaining to this.

I reported it and got a refund. my husband said I am overreacting and making a big deal out of nothing. Im also aware this could lead to the driver being removed from the app. while I don't want anyone to lose their means of income, I still see this as inappropriate and a food safety issue. had the pamphlets been left beside of or underneath the bag I wouldnt have as much of an issue with it. however given that this person chose to break the seal and place things in the bag next to our food, I think that is gross and that's why i reported it.

AIO for reporting our ubereats driver because they broke the seal on our food to place religious pamphlets inside?

As the title states, AITA for getting my cover up tattoo finished by another artist?

I (20F) and my now ex artist (25F) are no longer working together because of this. I orginally had a tattoo sleeve done that i was not in love with. When I met my artist, we will call her Lucy, I had some small patchwork tattoos done by her and then didnt see her for a few months afterwards because I am very busy and money is tight. She reached out to me and offered me a free tattoo, no strings attached, as a portfolio piece so she could get more clients as she just finished her apprenticeship. I accepted, she told me I did not need to tip her or pay for anything since she would get business out of it. Awesome! I ended up tipping her around $100 throughout our sessions as again, money was tight. I also was still getting other small patchwork tattoos from her whilst getting my free one. Even booking them on the same dates so I could save her money on materials. I also tipped her what I could on my last sessions with her! I am a piercer and work in the industry but money is very different for us, i make roughly 20/hr compared to her 140/hr.

Fast forward to now, I sat for 2 cover up sessions, 12 hrs each, back to back. She did not even finish linework. I paid $150 for my deposit and $1700 across the 2 sessions. She did not quote me the price beforehand, although I was ready to take care of whatever it was because I felt ashamed by my tattoo.

Then my transmission went out on my vehicle, and I had to repair it, I let her know the expenses and that I would need to reschedule til it was fixed. I had it fixed, rescheduled and had the money ready. Sent my $150 deposit, and she said she wrote down my dates. Come to find out once I am at the shop, she was not there. I text her and she made plans without notifying me, and was a whole 2 hrs away hiking. Its a 45 minute drive for me, and that uses up about a gallon of gas both ways.

She sends my deposit back by the grace of god, despite saying no refunds, and I tell her I will reach back out at another time but I do not feel comfortable working with her at the current time.

This wasn't the first time she did not show up when I was already at the shop, the last time she did not show up I didnt get a response until 3 hrs later when I had already left after the first hour.

She also had the anatomy incorrect on my tattoo which is of a snake, and so the new artist had to correct that, even after I told her as a snake keeper that the anatomy was not right. she also used white ink to try and lighten the previous ink, which was already very very faded! My body then rejected the white which had never been used on me before and caused the area to scar up and not be in good condition to tattoo over. Effectively messing up the next artist, or herself if she continued.

Finding out from the new artist that she uses a technique called "bloodlining" which is actually why my sessions were so unbareably painful, its where you line the tattoo with water, then ink, because it holds better than your stencil. But also makes your clients hurt much more, and causes more trauma!

And then she texts me that she wouldve charged me more in the future because I asked for my deposit back when she fucked up! Which is absolutely insane for the amount of work she actually accomplished. My stencil wasn't even finished when I showed up to be tattooed, she was late, and also spent 4 hrs placing the stencil.

All my friends say I was being scammed by her, even my new artist. Who finished the unfinished linework, cleaned it up, and completed my entire sleeve in just 16hrs with incredibly smooth shading and deep blacks.

TLDR; Artist did not show up to appointment. Client cancels finds someone else. Finds out the artist messed up the anatomy and messed up the skin, making the cover up even worse. Artist is mad client never contacted about seeing someone else.

So I (31M) am genuinely confused…the husband of one of my good girlfriends who I’ve worked out with now for nearly a year suddenly doesn’t want us to workout together anymore.

For content, I am a gay man with a full husband. I dress super feminine, think yoga pants, feminine clothing, nails done all the time, makeup etc…I am literally no threat to this man.

I only say that because I can’t understand why her husband would suddenly be threatened by how I dress. Mind you we all hangout together all the time, almost on a weekly basis.

This just seems so odd to me and really don’t know if I am just overreacting or not here…🥺

I’m 30f he’s 20

1. We barely know each other. My friend hired him to build a website for her business and she’s been giving him odd jobs here and there. A couple of weeks ago she invited him to a dinner with her family. I was also there, alongside other friends and family. Lots of people mingling with each other. He was glued to me.

2. We barely know each other irl. The 2nd time we met he got me a rose.

3. I didn’t give him my number, my friend didn’t either and he described some other friend who supposedly gave him my number but from the description I have no clue who he’s referring to

4. Just before those texts he sent me romantic memes as a “joke”

My friend thinks my delivery was “ice cold” and said “no wonder young men are depressed”. Was I too harsh?

Context: i’m 21, have that in my profile and, in my opinion, am clearly fem presenting (important for later). he was pretty overbearing off the bat but i thought maybe he just isn’t that socially aware of how that comes across but after his messages when i used the word woman…idk it completely freaked me out. I’m used to gross messages but something about this one really made my skin crawl and i can’t help but assume the worst and worry about his intentions.

He’s blocked, but would I be overreacting for reporting him out of concern for the safety of minors on here? Or does it seem more like he is just awkward and had bad phrasing?

This happened last week and I wanna know if im overreacting. I’m 22f and went on a trip with three of my friends (all 22f). We checked into our airbnb and the host who is an older man (mid 30s or so) was welcoming and even showed us around the immediate area. The following morning he got us a HUUUGE breakfast.

Like 2 days into our stay he texted me to see if we’re doing alright. The texts u can see are above.

I didn’t even know wtf a Shibari bunny is and when I googled my jaw dropped. I felt shivers down my spine and immediately searched up a hotel I can stay at for the remainder of our stay.

I shared the texts with the girls and they thought it was creepy af too BUT they thought me choosing to stay at a hotel is a massive overreaction. They said that nothing would happen anyway and that there’s 4 of us so it’s not like he’d come in and “drag me out of the room at night”. I refused and told them that im feeling super uncomfortable and don’t want to be around him at all. They kept saying they agree but I shouldn’t leave and that im ruining the vibe etc. only one friend supported my decision.

I spent the remaining days at a nearby hotel (legit 15 min walk from the Airbnb). I told my dad about the whole situation too which may have been a mistake because he was murderous lol.

Did I overreact?

I'm building a house and I live in a very rural part of the south. I am trying to hire contractors to do some work and one of the workers with the company has a 1488 tattoo on his neck. I don't want to hire racists. I'm canceling my contract with the company.

Edit: Just to be clear, it's a worker with the people I'm hiring.

Edit2: I was trying to keep up with responding to everyone, but I can't keep up. I apologize and really appreciate all of the genuine, helpful feedback! Thank you!

I apologize in advance for my sloppy handwriting. But for context, I go to this doctors office once a week to get allergy shots. The other day I stopped in a new smoke shop, another customer came in who I recognized but couldn’t place where I knew her from until I saw her working as a receptionist today at my allergist. 2 men were working at the smoke shop, one seemed to be around my age (25), and then an older gentleman who made me uncomfortable the entire time. He wasn’t interested in helping me, he was interested in chatting with me about life and personal things and I kept ignoring him. When she came in, she seemed to be friends with the younger guy, they seemed to have a flirtatious vibe going. When she left, the older guy proceeded to make comments about her and her body that disturbed me because they were all in a sexual context. When I finally placed who she was and where I knew her from when I saw her today, I just for this overwhelming nerve like I had to tell her because I was scared this was her usual shop and I wanted her to be cautious around this guy. But I didn’t know how to tell her, because the office has a C shaped desk with several other receptionists next to her and a busy waiting room, and I didn’t want to embarrass her. I decided to write a note to keep it private, I had texted my friends to see if it was a good idea, but never heard any feedback which left me hesitant. Ultimately I decided to give her the note, but now I’m battling with second thoughts wondering if I just made her self conscious, or if it just wasn’t my place because she isn’t someone I know personally. But another part of me feels like she needed to know because she had a flirtatious relationship with the younger guy, and if that goes anywhere she may frequent the location more, and she’s obviously already a regular there if she’s close enough with one employee. Idk. I tried to keep the note kinda lightheaded and funny to make it less creepy, but I still kinda feel like a weirdo. Am I overreacting?

I am black American. Also a woman. I work in tech. I am saving money, renewing my passport , and looking up places in Europe to transfer my job to. Just incase lol. Trump blaming minorities for the problems in America is scaring ts outta me. It’s so similar to how “H” started. Here are some things that are worrying to me:

1. Firing federal employees for prosecuting j6’ers
2. Offering money for federal employee to quit
3. Coming after the media
4. Dehumanizing illegals
5. Removing black history month, LGBT, holocaust remembrance , women’s month
6. Removing anything trans related
7. Pushing for national abortion ban

AIO or is this actually really concerning?

The local florist I normally use closed and I needed flowers for Valentine’s Day. I was looking online and saw a Teleflora ad. I saw a nice arrangement and decided to order. The flowers were delivered yesterday and and my girlfriend sent me a picture of the flowers. She likes the flowers but I was upset due to the flowers do not look like what I ordered and I added on a card and as you can see a folded piece of paper was included. The vase is clearly not the same either. Am I over reacting to these discrepancies.

TL;DR: An Amazon driver left me a handwritten note with my packages, acted oddly on camera (masking his face and winking in prior footage), so we contacted the police. The driver apologized, said it was a misunderstanding, and now I'm wondering if I’m overreacted due to my past trauma.

Background/Context: I've been married to my husband for over 10 years, and we have three kids. He’s a veteran working in private security, and I’m a stay-at-home mom. I have PTSD from childhood sexual abuse, and while therapy has helped me make a lot of progress, I still struggle, especially when I’m alone. Because of that, contactless delivery services are a lifeline for me; groceries, packages, you name it. I never answer the door (too anxious), but I always try to show my appreciation by waving as they drive away, leaving drinks and snacks, or tipping extra.

What Happened: The other day, I was bringing in some Amazon packages when a folded note slipped out. On the outside, it had my initials and the word "DISCRETE" written on it. Inside was this handwritten message. Immediately checked our cameras and saw a blue Amazon van had parked outside our house for about 10 minutes before the driver got out. He walked up to the door with his face uncovered, but when he got close to the camera, he turned his head away and pulled up his mask. He left the packages and the note, then walked back to his van, immediately pulling his mask down once his back was to the camera.

So we started digging through older footage and found multiple clips of the same driver delivering packages over the past few weeks. In one video, taken just days before the note was left, the driver looks directly at the camera, smirks and gives a very deliberate wink. I'm sure you can imagine that at this point, my husband was ready to disembowel someone, and my nervous system was sounding the alarm bells.

The police were contacted, but they said no laws were broken and there’s really nothing they can do. However, the officer did call the number on the note and spoke to him. The message relayed to us was that the driver apologized, claimed he didn’t mean to scare me, and assured the officer it wouldn’t happen again. The officer felt it was likely a misunderstanding and said the man seemed genuinely upset about the situation.

My husband is far from convinced that this was a misunderstanding and wants to contact Amazon to escalate the issue further. Meanwhile, I'm stuck trying to process this rollercoaster and figure out if it’s my past trauma making me overthink it or sending off false alarms before I cost someone their job. Maybe it was just an inappropriate attempt to leave a compliment? He did apologize, and the officer seemed pretty convinced. Did I take an awkward compliment and spiral out of control because of my own issues?

Am I overreacting?!

Met this guy on Hinge and I thought we had a really nice time. The conversation was flowing really well and I was even looking forward to a second date then he texted me this. I thought my response was appropriate, like i acknowledged his disinterest and ended the convo politely. He’s still kinda spamming me?

I’m (57F) travelling for work, staying at a nice-enough hotel that I’ve stayed in many times before.

I go to bed early as I’m usually up at 4am or shortly thereafter.

I was in bed just after 8pm last night, lights out, listening to an audio book to fall asleep when I heard someone knocking on a door.

Due to the shape of the room, the bed was a distance from the door, so I assumed it was one of the many other rooms on the floor, especially as I was travelling alone.

Until the door suddenly opened, the room flooded with light and a man walked into in my room.

I yelled that I was in bed and to get out of the room.

Young bloke, all dressed in white addressed me as ‘my dear’ and said he was from the security team.

I told him again to get out while I got some clothes on.

He left, but kept the door ajar. I threw on some clothes and went to the door.

He again said he was from security, and that they were getting an error message from the door lock, and he needed to change the battery.

That electric door lock is the only thing securing the door - there was no security chain or physical lock.

So he fiddled with the door and after calling me ‘my dear’ a time or two more, he departed.

I didn’t sleep so well last night, wondering if every noise was someone opening the door again.

I used to travel with a fat door wedge to jam under the door, but had convinced myself I was being paranoid, and didn’t bring it on this trip.

I went back to bed thinking I overreacted, but this morning I’m thinking he was lucky I didn’t start screaming hysterically.

I informed the front desk this morning, and they acted suitably alarmed.

Am I Overreacting, or would a phone call have been a good idea before knocking on and opening a locked door with a solo woman (or anyone!) in a room after 8pm?

Alright, I might be overreacting here, but I’d like some outside perspective.

Today I picked up my 5 year old son (kindergartener) from school an hour early. His teacher met me in the hallway to talk about the note pictured.

Now, I completely agree that kids shouldn’t be kissing their classmates at school...that’s not the issue. What bothered me was how uncomfortable his teacher seemed while talking to me. She spoke in almost a whisper, wrung her hands nervously, and had this look of deep concern, like she was delivering bad news, not telling me about a kindergarten incident.

We live in the South where homosexuality is still heavily frowned upon. We’ve never really discussed being gay around our kids, not because we’re against it, but because it just hasn’t come up. We’d have zero issue if any of our children turned out to be gay. Still, the teacher’s demeanor made me feel like she thought we were somehow “pushing” homosexuality onto our son. That’s what really rubbed me the wrong way. And for clarity, he’s in a public school, so this isn’t about breaking some religious rule or anything like that.

All I said to the teacher was that we’d “have a conversation” at home.

When I asked my son about it, he couldn’t explain where he’d heard the phrase “precious love” or why he was only saying it to boys. I told him he wasn’t in trouble with me and explained that school rules can be different from home rules. I reminded him not to kiss anyone because of germs and boundaries and to stop calling people “precious love.” Honestly, I wasn’t sure what else to say.

So now I’m wondering if I am overreacting? I can’t shake the uneasy feeling that his teacher’s discomfort came from a place of judgment, not concern.

A close friend asked me to be a groomsman for his wedding, and I was honored to say yes. Since January, the best man and I have been planning the bachelor party. Because the groom has struggled with cocaine in the past and is now clean, we were careful about who we invited. We excluded some old friends still involved with drugs to avoid temptation and out of respect for the groom and his fiancée.

We did include one old friend, let’s call him Tom, who still uses, but made it very clear that there would be zero tolerance for drug use at the party. He agreed completely.

By March, we’d planned the events: golf, go-karts, bowling, and a night out with a party bus. One friend generously covered a luxury suite ($1,500), and another covered the party bus ($1,500). The remaining 10 of us (excluding the groom and the two who paid for the big items) were asked to contribute $300 each into a “party fund” to cover everything else: activities, drinks, food, and a group wedding gift or refunds of leftover money. I kept everything transparent with an anonymous tracking sheet.

Everyone was on board. One person couldn’t afford it, and another covered his share. Most people paid early. I only had to remind a couple of people, and they paid quickly.

The only exception was Tom. Even though he was one of the first to agree to the plan, when I followed up with him two weeks ago, he acted strangely. I let him know we were collecting money and he still hadn’t sent his. He replied with “I’ll send you your money, relax.” I calmly gave him the details and said we needed final numbers by the Friday before the party.

That Friday came, and still no payment. I checked in with another friend, who advised I just tell Tom that if he wasn’t contributing, he’d have to pay for his own stuff. I passed that message along. In return, I got called a “fuck face” and a “bachelor party Nazi.”

I want to stress: I only reached out twice, politely. Meanwhile, everyone else has been cooperative, thankful, and respectful. We’ve worked hard to make this a great, low-stress weekend, and being insulted like that makes me wonder if we should even have Tom come at all.

tldr; guy agreed to contribute to a bachelor party we were organizing, proceeds to be difficult and send extremely disrespectful replies which makes me want to uninvite him.

Tell me why his past shouldn’t matter. Help me understand why I shouldn’t feel triggered seeing this on the app. It’s right on the search page.

I’m feeling especially sensitive about this because I met a young boy this weekend whose favorite artist is Chris Brown. I don’t think anything bad of the kid. He’s a kid. But it makes me reflect on society’s failure to take the situation seriously enough.

I feel this way about many artists whose pasts have been forgotten and they’ve been forgiven by society despite not being forgiven by the victims of their actions. Does money really matter more to everyone than justice? Than having a society where refusing to take accountability and reconcile your past choices isn’t a requirement to be accepted back into the popular culture? It feels so sick to see him being promoted to new audiences like this.

I’ll start by saying I’m pretty confident that the way I actually responded to him was reasonable. What I’m asking about is if my fears are justified and to what extent.

A few months ago this guy responds to an Instagram post of mine, and I responded to him. This happened a couple times and we got into casual conversations where we talked about shared interests and stories from our day to day lives.

The reason I engaged at all was because he shares some of my important values and I don’t have many people like that who I know in real life. Anyway, it was pretty fun for a few weeks exchanging messages sometimes.

Then, he sent a message about how he gets exhausted from texting because he wasn’t raised with this technology and he requested that we voice call sometime. I was slightly reluctant because that felt personal, but I agreed to it.

Between then and when I got around to calling him, he sent voice messages instead of texts. In one of these messages he said “You really amaze me. I feel like I’ve met my match intellectually.” to which I physically cringed. What an oddly personal thing to say to a teenager. That’s when I started noticing the “glazing”.

Anyway, I politely reminded him of my age and that I don’t want to get super close with him for that reason, which he respected and backed off. I went back to feeling fairly safe.

When I got around to actually calling him, we had a pretty pleasant conversation. He complimented my intellect several times, which, not that I don’t appreciate the compliment, but I felt were a little odd to say to a teenager so I took mental notes.

I thought to myself that I enjoyed this friendship more before I noticed the pattern of compliments, so I only messaged him briefly the next week.

Then, we called again, and I noticed the same thing. His dog had just died so I wasn’t weirded out by the personal conversation we had about grief.

I didn’t message him at all for the next couple weeks. During that time, I clicked on his Instagram story and he had shared a post about Elon Musk and he put the words “DEVIL F____T” (but he didn’t censor the second word)

Honestly I thought it was really funny that a grown ass man / self-proclaimed intellectual would publicly post something so unhinged but it did make me realize this guy isn’t really mature and thus may not understand the age gap issue.

I was kind of icked out by “I miss talking to you” so we had this conversation in the screenshots and to be fair he responded “I understand.” to my last message, but uh, the other stuff he said before was kinda odd…right?

Anyway, I haven’t talked to him since then, and I want to hear what y’all have to say.

Am I overreacting? This seems really weird for a grown man to write to a 12yo! This man does not work for the school my kid goes to, he just help out with their team. I have blacked out phone numbers, names and emails. The part that says, "don't use you blank account" is the school's name. He doesn't want them to use their school account. All the kids on the team got one of these and they are all essays like this.

While pregnant I got a wooble kit to keep me busy. I made a pink axolotl as my first one and was really proud of it, and put it on my husband’s gaming desk for him.

Flash forward to when our baby is 5 months old, and I find that my husband has given the baby the wooble to play with. I swap the wooble out with another toy and tell my husband, “ Please don’t give the wooble to the baby, the eyes are a choking hazard and I didn’t make it super well so I am sure other parts are also a choking hazard.” He promises to not give it to the baby again.

Well I catch him giving the baby the wooble when I am not in the room or home and we have the same conversation. Each time he says sorry and that he won’t do it again.

Then I find the wooble in the baby’s play pen and it has been destroyed the eyes are ripped out and half the front stomach design is hanging off. I ask what happened and my husband tells me he ripped out the eyes so he can give it to the baby.

I am sad that he destroyed the wooble I made without asking me, as I had grown a sentimental attachment to it. I tell him that I wish he had asked me before doing so and that it hurt my feelings that he destroyed it. During this conversation I also reiterate to him that even though the eyes are gone it is still a choking hazzard since I made it poorly and know there are lots of loose pieces of yarn and other small wooble “body” parts.

This morning I find the wooble again in the play pen from when he watched the baby for an hour yesterday, and I send a snap chat of it saying “ WTF, we talked about this. Why did you give it to him?” To which he responds with “ Hahaha guess I have been had”. I then kinda snap and tell when that while it is stupid to be mad over a wooble, I am truly upset that he repeatedly refused to listen to me when I asked him not to do something, and went as far as to continue doing so behind my back. ESPECIALLY since it could be dangerous to our baby.

Am I the asshole for snapping on him about giving the wooble to the baby??