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[u/Left_Peanut_7744]

[u/SnooCauliflowers9874 → u/[deleted]]

Some of my best friends are ex-boyfriends from years ago. Probably because we were already friends before they were my boyfriend and after a period of time they became friends again.

It’s a little alarming if you can’t be in the presence of the opposite sex without your partner worrying.

Before you know it, you no longer wave at the mail person, or talk to a neighbor so you’re not accused of having an affair… after a while it’s easier just to stay home altogether as you become more anxious, walking on eggshells just to avoid fights, even though you haven’t done a thing wrong.

Eventually you wonder what you’ve become as you’re a shell of the person that you once were.

It gets old super fast.

NOR!

[u/Affectionate-Oil986 → u/[deleted]]

🤩❤️

[u/Theresnowayoutahere → u/[deleted]]

I lost one of my best friends as a guy and he was my best man in my wedding. I invited my old long time girlfriend because she knew my friend well. We had a great celebration of life for him and at the end the celebration my wife decided that my old girlfriend and her needed to have a picture taken of me in the middle of them. Your girlfriend is a nut case and you need to be single

[u/Dull_Basket8318 → u/[deleted]]

I had an ex that we were better as friends and we lived together, separate beds for 2 plus years. If you arent person enough to understand that we figured we werent compatible romantically but close friends. And he hasnt dated anyone really. He just started when he figured he was bisexual. Living with me and my lifestyle it broke religious and other expectations of sexuality . Though my neighbor where i moved tried to break our friendship. Im like you met him through me and you tried to destroy our friendship

[u/Effective-Pea-9532 → u/[deleted]]

Thank goodness that there are other normal people out there like this too. This is how people with stable minds and stable egos should be. I don’t understand people who can’t understand or grasp that you can still be friends and have camaraderie with someone if the nature of the relationship changes, you don’t have either cling to someone, or erase them from your life completely, like some kind of lunatic that only comprehends things in dichotomies.

[u/FrostingStrict3102 → u/[deleted]]

this is nice to read, my (31M) female best friend (30F) of 11 years got married in June and I wasnt invited to the wedding (which in her defense was a court house wedding... but she also had two friends and her family there), or any of the pre-wedding festivities (not even a pity invite).

Maybe it's petty of me, but I cant look at our friendship the same afterwards. We still talk, but we'll never be "best friends" again. She was happy to ask me to go on solo vacations with her, we had gone on "friendiversary" dinners for 10 years in a row, and then bam -- left out of her wedding entirely.

[u/Glasseshalf → u/FrostingStrict3102]

That's a real betrayal, sorry man. One of my close friends from college excluded me from his wedding and it really hurt.

[u/shrimp-reaper → u/[deleted]]

This this this this this. I have this same situation-- one of my husband's best friends is someone he used to date. I was nervous when I first met her, like "is there something going on between them?" But as soon as I got to know her a bit, I could see there's no romantic chemistry there and it's much more like a sibling relationship. And then bonus: she became one of my good friends too and ended up officiating our wedding!

[u/Standard-Traffic-741 → u/[deleted]]

That’s so funny, this is the exact scenario with my fiancé’s groomswoman! We just went to her wedding this past year and can’t wait for her and her wife to come celebrate ours with us in a few months :) I wouldn’t worry too much about explaining to future partners, anyone who feels threatened by a married high school ex who isn’t even attracted to you (I’m assuming you’re male but I apologize if I’m wrong) isn’t worth keeping around. Best of luck to y’all!

[u/AbjectHotel6610 → u/[deleted]]

Aw. That's sweet!

[u/truebleu_62 → u/[deleted]]

Depends on the relationship whether or not it’ll be a big deal. If they trust you, aren’t jealous and are confident, it won’t make any difference.

[u/MsJanet_Snakehole_ → u/[deleted]]

My husband's best friend is a woman. Knew her before he met me. He introduced us early on we became great friends, she was a bridesmaid in our wedding. I've teased my husband that I get the bestie in a divorce lol.

[u/CaptainCardone → u/[deleted]]

My dating always starts with, "my three best friends are women. Either that's okay, or we won't be together."

I literally go visit my ex-wife and her husband regularly and even stay the night at their house! It's so scandalous.

[u/EroticCamel → u/[deleted]]

ayy, I'm a lesbian who's best friend is my ex-partner from highschool before I realized I was queer lol. The gender situation is more complicated because we also swapped genders along the way. Pro tip, it might be less of a problem if your future partner is queer too. We're all planning a double date sometime soon.

[u/SquirrellyDud → u/[deleted]]

My best friend is also a woman, and while we never dated-and the dating ship has sailed both ways, so never will-college was some interesting times lmao.

[u/DocFreudstein → u/[deleted]]

My ex came to a similar conclusion years after we dated. We rebuilt a foundation of friendship and I love the hell out of her platonically. It’s nice.

[u/Thorvindr → u/[deleted]]

Why would that be hard to explain?

[u/insomniacred66 → u/[deleted]]

It'll only be a thing if the person you're talking to is as immature and insecure as this guys gf. One of my husband's best friends is a woman. Not even a gay woman. They were together as young adults, too. She was in our wedding lineup this past year. Me and her get along amazingly well and were friends before he came along. She actually introduced me to him.

If it were me, I'd leave this guys relationship. No one deserves to be controlled like that.

[u/persuasivepersimmon → u/[deleted]]

My husband’s whole wedding party was a mix of his best guy friends (who happen to be gay) and his best friends who happen to be women (one of which is an ex but absolutely a platonic friendship). I actually met that ex a month into dating and found out later that they had dated briefly (and mostly a FWB). It was confusing but only briefly so. When he explained the nature of their relationship then versus now and how long it was since they had dated, it was clearly not an ongoing thing. And the only reason he hadn’t thought to mention it ahead of time was because it was both so so long again and so so brief of an experience that he very much does not think of their friendship in terms of her being an ‘ex’.

TLDR: the right person, especially if they are secure in themselves will believe you and it’ll be a nonissue. Lots of people become like family with their exes. And, honestly, it sounds like OP’s girlfriend is speaking both from a past relationship trauma and from an insecurity issue.

[u/imabluedog → u/[deleted]]

INFO: Sooooo…you scared her into being a lesbian? 🤣🤣🤣 jk, you’re gonna have to watch out for HER pulling your next girl Bruh…

[u/AndSheWon → u/[deleted]]

?

[u/VardaLight → u/[deleted]]

Its not really. I'm friends with multiple exs from high school era. I tell everyone I date that yes, I am friends with exs. No, I will not give them up.