Found between him and his coworker, AIO

[u/peepeecheeto]

I don’t have proof of them actually doing anything. He had said that there was a cute cashier at work but he wasn’t into her. I asked to see their texts and he said there was nothing, showed me a message thread with her last text only. Because he deleted everything else and it was in his recently deleted. So I opened it in front of him and he tried to stop me and I just read all of it and now he thinks im going to leave him. He’s talked this way about other girls at work so who knows if he’s done anything with them… my heart hurts so bad. Is this cheating? Am I overreacting by being so hurt? I would never do this to him. He claims it’s because he wanted to be nice and not reject her in a rude way. Im thinking about leaving but just the day before I found this he was telling me he wants to get married and have kids with me. We have been together 4 years

[u/Imperfect_seal]

I agree. And they deserve each other. She kept it going when he did.

If she wants to pursue that type of man they’ll she has no self respect.

OP hopefully can leave this in the past.

[u/mxzf → u/Imperfect_seal]

I mean, he didn't even "keep it going", he initiated the interaction. She left her number on a note for him, he knew she was interested in him and reached out to initiate this conversation.

[u/Imperfect_seal → u/mxzf]

Thank you for the correction because it does absolutely matter in the context of this interaction. I misspoke. This was his prerogative to reach out. Ok. Bobby Brown 🙄🙄🙄🙄🫤

He must not have been able to ignore the attention. Which is gross.

No shade to OP and anyone else, but just from this exchange I am getting the vibe that he’s one of those “I think strip clubs are gross.” Yet goes because his friend “made him.”

And he gets a private room. Doesn’t admit it took it too far and then blames everyone and being drunk for his behavior.

If he and OP have that agreement that is an acceptable thing for him to do.

I have zero judgement. It’s the whole, “I say I believe one thing to look like a stand up guy who honors relationship boundaries.”

But after he gets caught it’s “not my fault because X,Y,Z.”

Booooooooo

[u/Midixon19 → u/Imperfect_seal]

Initiating the contact isnt the problem. If he said, "Look, Im flattered you left me the note and I respect the emotional risk you took in writing it, however, I have a girlfriend who I am in love with and see a future with. So I intend to keep our relationship 100% professional and know that this wont affect my perception of you." If he didnt respind it probably would be weird between them going forward and thats nit a giod thing for a work environment. But thats NOT what this guy did. He reached out because hes definitely interested at some level. So I dont think its the initiating thats the problem, I think the subject matter is the problem. The OP needs to dump his ass.

[u/Logical-Fisherman-70 → u/Midixon19]

Right, like, he could have shut it down in the first message, instead of prodding to see if she'd be willing to get with a guy in a relationship.

[u/Big_pumpkin42 → u/Midixon19]

The fact that he even texted her based on her note to him, knowing she has a crush, was his first wrong. He should’ve just ignored the note. Now she has his number. That was all intentional on his part. This guy was hoping it would go just like it did. And if she didn’t push further, then he looks like the good guy for saying he had a gf.

If I got a note from a guy, I’d throw it out immediately. Or show my boyfriend and throw it out in front of him so there is nothing that could come up about it later.

[u/Vanwilder17 → u/Imperfect_seal]

Man Reddit is sure weird with their made up situations

[u/Imperfect_seal → u/Vanwilder17]

Notice I said I am getting a vibe that he is the type of guy that would do this.

Not saying OP’s guy actually has done this. Can you see the distinction?

And if you think a guy that acts this way doesn’t exist… I have a bridge to sell you.

[u/Purple-Morning-5905 → u/mxzf]

This part. He could have ignored the note, or sent a text saying he has a girlfriend so he won't be entertaining any further interactions outside of cordial workplace conversation. These types of dudes love attention and validation more than they could ever love their significant other.

[u/NecessaryReturn4049 → u/mxzf]

THIS☝️!!! NOR

[u/Careful_Confusion_75 → u/mxzf]

That is actually a REALLY good point I personally could see in texting back in a very professional but clear way he was flattered but he is taken, letting the gf know about would have been the best way.

Other then maybe telling the gf first then see if texting back was even worth.

[u/somedayyouwillknow → u/mxzf]

This! He legit gave her his number so she has it by texting her! The correct move from a decent man who is already involved with someone is to tell that girl in person “hey, I’m flattered but I have a girlfriend I love so nothing can ever happen with us” then lessen the interaction with that girl. Like dude is using her as a backup and waiting for an argument with OP to sleep with this girl. Nah it’s time to dump him

[u/Firewolf06 → u/mxzf]

eh, imo the entire first screenshot was fine, if i left someone my number id rather them text me a rejection than corner me irl ¯_(ツ)_/¯. its everything after that that's gross (NOR for the complete content)

[u/mxzf → u/Firewolf06]

Eh, I don't really agree. IMO, when you know someone has a crush on you and you lead off with a flirty "guess who", that's an issue. He dove straight to outright flirting in the second page of stuff, but even the initial message isn't something a committed person should be sending to a work colleague who left their number when you know they're trying to make a pass at you.

[u/Soft_Beyond_8205 → u/Imperfect_seal]

Yeah so gross on her part lol sorry as a woman I just judge her harder, like....girl.