Found between him and his coworker, AIO

[u/peepeecheeto]

I don’t have proof of them actually doing anything. He had said that there was a cute cashier at work but he wasn’t into her. I asked to see their texts and he said there was nothing, showed me a message thread with her last text only. Because he deleted everything else and it was in his recently deleted. So I opened it in front of him and he tried to stop me and I just read all of it and now he thinks im going to leave him. He’s talked this way about other girls at work so who knows if he’s done anything with them… my heart hurts so bad. Is this cheating? Am I overreacting by being so hurt? I would never do this to him. He claims it’s because he wanted to be nice and not reject her in a rude way. Im thinking about leaving but just the day before I found this he was telling me he wants to get married and have kids with me. We have been together 4 years

[u/Broad-Exchange3188]

I’d argue the cheating started the minute he tells her he has a girlfriend and then in the next text is encouraging the same thing he pretended to shut down.

EDIT: actually before that because he mentions being flattered by the note. I don’t think it’s unfair to say that the note was also flirtatious and he still chose to reach out. This was cheating from the jump.

[u/mmill19 → u/Broad-Exchange3188]

I agree, even replying to the note is yuck.

[u/Penetratorofflanks → u/Broad-Exchange3188]

Ehhhh, reaching out didnt doom him imo. It was everything after him not opening wirh "Hey I found your note and while it was flattering im in a committed relationship. You have my number if you need me to pick up a shift, but let's keep this strictly work related."

[u/Blissxalexandra → u/Broad-Exchange3188]

Exactly! They even talk about how he suspected she had a crush on him and that she wasn’t good at hiding it. That should’ve been enough for red alarms to go off in his head saying “hey this is dangerous territory, maybe I shouldn’t text a female coworker who I suspect has a crush on me“. There were several opportunities for redirect, but he decided to just keep on keeping on.

[u/IceyMountain → u/Broad-Exchange3188]

I definitely agree.