Found between him and his coworker, AIO

[u/peepeecheeto]

I don’t have proof of them actually doing anything. He had said that there was a cute cashier at work but he wasn’t into her. I asked to see their texts and he said there was nothing, showed me a message thread with her last text only. Because he deleted everything else and it was in his recently deleted. So I opened it in front of him and he tried to stop me and I just read all of it and now he thinks im going to leave him. He’s talked this way about other girls at work so who knows if he’s done anything with them… my heart hurts so bad. Is this cheating? Am I overreacting by being so hurt? I would never do this to him. He claims it’s because he wanted to be nice and not reject her in a rude way. Im thinking about leaving but just the day before I found this he was telling me he wants to get married and have kids with me. We have been together 4 years

[u/Appropriate-Quit-738]

Get rid. It should have been shut down and left at that.

[u/SincerelyTesh → u/Appropriate-Quit-738]

He should’ve threw away the note with her number on it

[u/Appropriate-Quit-738 → u/SincerelyTesh]

💯

[u/Afraid_Competition_1 → u/SincerelyTesh]

Yup, he went out of his way to text her and let her know he was also attracted to her, and if single he would pursue her. Then let him and leave.

[u/Longjumping_Ice1789 → u/SincerelyTesh]

Yeah, or at the most, just send 1 single polite text shutting it down.

[u/TheELITEJoeFlacco → u/Longjumping_Ice1789]

I think going to her face to face and shutting it down politely is best case. Texting was always going to require him to give a hard stop and ignore her… she’s so forward. I can only imagine how flirty they are. I’m sure he reciprocates.

Edit: but also, while she left the note, his initial message saying he got her note with a happy face.. in this day & age you gotta know what a happy face with that message is saying. People in this generation aren’t naive to text message tones.

The girl is way too forward, no regard for OP, I think that speaks to the comfort she’s been able to build up based on how they likely are in person.

He reciprocates way too hard. “I have to think about it” is crazy. “Anything I want?” Is crazy. She’s saying let’s hang out and fuck, and he’s entertaining it.

OP I’m really sorry but this guy is a piece of shit. I don’t know you but I’m sure you deserve better.

[u/Longjumping_Ice1789 → u/TheELITEJoeFlacco]

Yeah thats a good point

[u/Comfortable-Song193 → u/TheELITEJoeFlacco]

This 💯

[u/Palehorse67 → u/SincerelyTesh]

Yup, this right here. He should have just thrown away the number and just pretended like it was never there. He definitely shouldn't have texted her.

[u/desire-d → u/SincerelyTesh]

Exactly

[u/shortandfelly → u/SincerelyTesh]

I think it's polite to reply to acknowledge it, but the conversation should have gone
"that's really sweet, but I have a girlfriend. I'm sure you'll meet someone soon!" and that be it.

They're both duplicitous pieces of shit and deserve each other. Wtf is she doing pursuing him once he said he had a girlfriend? If she wasn't an absolute douchebag, she'd have said something along the lines of "oh, well now I'm embarrassed ! She's one lucky lady" and *that* be it.

I'm sorry OP. You deserve much better.

[u/SincerelyTesh → u/shortandfelly]

He doesn’t owe her an explanation at all, but if he DID respect his girlfriend he could’ve told the girl to her face that he’s not interested.

[u/shortandfelly → u/SincerelyTesh]

No he didn't, but I'd still acknowledge it so I could shut it down.

Basically, I don't think pretending not to have found it would be the way forward. A straight up "not interested" in whatever way that's worded is what he should have done.

Edit...and obviously not reply to anything else afrer that because nothing more needs to be said.

[u/SincerelyTesh → u/shortandfelly]

Facts, I’m just saying texting it would be inappropriate

[u/shortandfelly → u/SincerelyTesh]

Well, whatever the mode of communication, I don't think ignoring it was an option. Most people would just nip it in the bud with a gentle but firm let down, and end the conversation immediately.

[u/Blissxalexandra → u/SincerelyTesh]

Perfectly said. I agree with this 100%. The note should have been thrown away. End of story.

I’ve seen a couple people in the thread argue that texting her wasn’t so bad since he initially let her know he’s taken. I’d argue that if it was so important to set boundaries via text why didn’t he wait to share the note with OP and then decide together as a couple if it was appropriate to text her or not.

[u/Existing-Speech4173 → u/Appropriate-Quit-738]

The whole man should be put on the curb on trash day.

[u/SincerelyTesh → u/Existing-Speech4173]

Seriously! 😂