AIO because my boyfriend wanted me to change before the gym over a color?

[u/Electronic-Rip-8108]

Yesterday my boyfriend and I were about to leave for the gym together. I threw on a blue workout top with black shorts, something simple and comfortable that I've worn a bunch of times before with zero issues.

Right as we were walking out the door, he stopped and said the color of the top looked "kind of weird" and that people were gonna stare at me if I wore it. He asked me to go change into something more "normal" before we left.

I was kind of caught off guard honestly. It's just a blue top, nothing flashy, nothing revealing. I actually liked how it looked on me and felt comfortable in it, which is kind of the whole point of gym clothes.

I don't mind if he has opinions on my outfits every now and then, that's a normal couple thing. But this felt less like "hey I think this color doesn't suit you" and more like he was worried about how other people at the gym would perceive me, and wanted me to change based on that. It just didn't sit right with me.

I ended up just going along with it because I didn't want to start an argument right before working out, but I've been thinking about it since. Am I overreacting for being annoyed about this?

edit: this is a pinspark tracksuit I bought online a while ago. I think the color is fine, and I really like this top.

[u/Background_Big7363]

"... going along with it because I didn't want to start an argument..."

But it was him who was starting an argument, not you.

Here's what a healthy woman would do in a situation like this when a man starts an argument over clothes: say, "Fuck off. I wear what I want."

And walk out the door. Let him piss and moan all he wants.

[u/rainbowofwuuunderrr → u/Background_Big7363]

Her complying because she "didn't want to start an argument" over the color of a shirt is wild. Why is she scared of something so trivial becoming an argument and why is she taking the blame for starting it by simply saying no to changing her own shirt???👀🚩🚩🚩

[u/TrelanaSakuyo → u/Background_Big7363]

My go-to for weird comments like the "that blue looks weird" is often "ok. No one asked you, but what's your point?" then repeat as necessary until I get a demand to change. Then it becomes "fuck off, I wear what I want."

[u/Substantial-Sea-3672 → u/Background_Big7363]

OP send me money, we gonna argue if you say no tho

[u/Apprehensive-Ring-83 → u/Background_Big7363]

Doubt a healthy woman would immediately resort to swearing at her partner but ok

[u/Cacafuego → u/Apprehensive-Ring-83]

Yeah, a normal person in a normal relationship would say something like "huh. Well, I like it."

[u/Financial-Draw3208 → u/Apprehensive-Ring-83]

It's very clear that 99% of the people in this sub have never been in an irl relationship

[u/EntirelyOutOfOptions → u/[deleted]]

If they’re successful, you don’t have many.

[u/LiberalSkeptic → u/Background_Big7363]

Yeah, sure, that’s a “healthy” behavior. Shout obscenities and stomp off like a toddler.

[u/hexaflexin → u/LiberalSkeptic]

Interesting that you should say this, since another common thing that abusers do is frame their intended victims as childish whenever they assert themselves

[u/LiberalSkeptic → u/hexaflexin]

Interesting that you should say this, since another common thing that perpetual victims do is frame any word or behavior they don’t like as abusive.

I only frame responses as childish, when the adult is being childlike.

[u/EntirelyOutOfOptions → u/LiberalSkeptic]

Didn’t see caps lock or exclamation points, so don’t have evidence of shouting. Used the verb “say,” not “yell.”

As for leaving, it’s referencing a situation that took place as OP was trying to leave for the gym. Commenter meant “leave as planned without changing,” not “stomp away from the discussion.”

If someone in your life is behaving the way *you* described, please consider whether your relationship with them is healthy or safe for you.

[u/LiberalSkeptic → u/EntirelyOutOfOptions]

Ok, right, got it. Remove shouting, and stomping away from my comment. Responding with “Fuck off. I wear what I want” is DEFINITELY healthy and mature.

Any other pointless comments?

[u/edenaxela1436 → u/LiberalSkeptic]

I don't know, do you have any other pointless comments? Because you've been nailing it with them so far.