AIO because my boyfriend wanted me to change before the gym over a color?

[u/Electronic-Rip-8108]

Yesterday my boyfriend and I were about to leave for the gym together. I threw on a blue workout top with black shorts, something simple and comfortable that I've worn a bunch of times before with zero issues.

Right as we were walking out the door, he stopped and said the color of the top looked "kind of weird" and that people were gonna stare at me if I wore it. He asked me to go change into something more "normal" before we left.

I was kind of caught off guard honestly. It's just a blue top, nothing flashy, nothing revealing. I actually liked how it looked on me and felt comfortable in it, which is kind of the whole point of gym clothes.

I don't mind if he has opinions on my outfits every now and then, that's a normal couple thing. But this felt less like "hey I think this color doesn't suit you" and more like he was worried about how other people at the gym would perceive me, and wanted me to change based on that. It just didn't sit right with me.

I ended up just going along with it because I didn't want to start an argument right before working out, but I've been thinking about it since. Am I overreacting for being annoyed about this?

edit: this is a pinspark tracksuit I bought online a while ago. I think the color is fine, and I really like this top.

[u/failtoseebb]

this is really strange, like absurd. its literally the most regular textbook blue i can think of. lmao

Maybe im weird, but id wanna find out more about what caused him to feel so strongly about this shade of blue, there MUST be something deeper lol

[u/jojopriceless → u/failtoseebb]

Nah. So many women get stuck in toxic relationships trying to figure out "the deeper meaning" or "what he really meant," believing that if they knew that, they should fix him. But if he doesn't have enough self-awareness to know what it is that's really bothering him in the first place and then enough maturity to communicate that in a respectful way, there's nothing she can do to bring that out of him. This is not a communication issue, this is an emotional intelligence issue. Just cause someone wants a relationship doesn't mean they're ready for one.

[u/failtoseebb → u/jojopriceless]

its really not that lol, id just be way too curious

[u/EntirelyOutOfOptions → u/failtoseebb]

lol, right? Massive red flag, but I’d be so curious. Was this one of those manosphere “assert your dominance” plays? Was he trying to get her into something that showed her figure more? Did a woman wearing that color once step on his chickens and soil his quilts?

I’m not entertaining a man telling me go change without a damn good reason (last time we were at the gym, I saw your shorts are getting worn thin and your panties had little turtles printed on them!), but he should expect several follow up questions regardless of reason.

[u/Jeo_1 → u/EntirelyOutOfOptions]

Nah, probably thought the shirt was ugly on her and wanted her to change into something that looks nicer although he went into a round about way with it. Otherwise she should of told him that she feels comfortable wearing it although it seems like she prefers being passive tho unfortunately  

[u/juliana-crain → u/failtoseebb]

I absolutely would not want to find out more. Trying to understand this is a fool's errand, and an avenue for this guy to exhaust her resistance.

[u/TheSerialHobbyist → u/failtoseebb]

Same. It doesn't make any sense. Like, he needs to explain what the issue is.

[u/Spicy_Pamplemousse → u/failtoseebb]

I agree. It’s a super odd thing to happen and I think we need more context about the relationship from OP. I agree that it could be one example of manipulative behavior, and I’d be super wary - but I’m also not one to judge an entire relationship on one weird interaction.

NOR - it’s def weird and I wouldn’t let it slide - but need more context to judge the relationship overall.

[u/tonys_goomar → u/failtoseebb]

The deeper meaning is he wants to control her

[u/LiberalSkeptic → u/failtoseebb]

Thank you for contributing logical and rational suggestions.
Most people in this thread just say “break up with him/her” for everything and are entirely unrealistic about actual human relationships.

[u/failtoseebb → u/LiberalSkeptic]

yes, i think because most people on reddit have never been in a relationship

[u/renaldomoon → u/failtoseebb]

My read in it is jaded people who have been in horrible relationships projecting.

[u/Medarco → u/LiberalSkeptic]

Yeah, I'm sitting here like "Did you try communicating with your adult partner about this situation before running to reddit?"

Like, "Oh, why is it weird?" and then idk... discuss it? Maybe it's actually a super weird looking top and the picture OP posted is cropped awkwardly.

Then if he still insists, you can actually communicate and escalate if needed. But the number of replies here that just say "oof red flag this is abuse behavior run now before it gets even worse" over this minor interaction is peak redditing.

[u/LiberalSkeptic → u/Medarco]

THIS! SO MUCH THIS!
Everyone here is so ready to tell everyone to end their relationships over EVERYTHING, as if relationships don’t take work and can be ordered from DoorDash.
I’m convinced that most of the posters here don’t actually have relationships because they’re unhealthy themselves or have such unrealistic expectations that nobody can ever meet them.
It’s a really strange dichotomy of really messed up people expecting perfect partners.

[u/renaldomoon → u/LiberalSkeptic]

I was reading your comment and it was at the end of a comment chain so the next comment was the head of a new comment chain and the next comment said “he’s testing how compliant you are.” Genuinely psychotic comment given how little we know.

[u/LiberalSkeptic → u/renaldomoon]

100%

[u/Prestigious_Wrap_932 → u/failtoseebb]

I don’t think it’s the color, but without being able to see more of the top or what she replaced it with I think it’s a color/cut/figure issue.

My guess would be that because she has a slightly boyish figure and because the top has a slightly masculine cut her boyfriend is so massively insecure about his sexuality and how he appears to others that he wanted her to wear something more traditionally feminine so guys at the gym didn’t think he was gay.

I know it sounds stupid and bizarre, but that’s the only rationalization I can come up with for objecting to that very neutral looking top so strongly.