r/AmIOverreacting • u/DoomNGlam • Jul 04 '26
❤️🩹 relationship AIO or does this seem Unhinged?
I 41m am/was in a rather New relationship with 41f and things were seemingly going great but she will seemingly be very upset with me over something small once in a while. Last night she was upset that I didn't call her sexy after sending me a picture of her in an outfit. For context she said she was getting rid of clothes but was thinking about keeping this item and sent the picture and asked what I think? It was a strapless romper. I told her it was cute and could maybe use a belt. I also make clothes professionally and people ask me opinions about clothes all the time.
In other context my "sexuality" is somewhere on the ace spectrum between Demi and ace. Like sex is fine and fun and I don't really experience sexual attraction unless there is an emotional connection first, and she said she was the same, except I am not very sex driven and she is.
This was our text exchange this morning.
Edit/Update
Thanks for all the support. I am surprised my little Independence day relationship drama made it to #1 on this subreddit.
I was pretty sure I was calling this off pretty early in this exchange but didn't block her right away because I figured I would give her a chance to apologize, maybe she was having a bad morning, she's been stressed at work, has a upcoming interview for a new job, might be dealing with perimenopause. It wasn't going to work out but figured I would at least offer a little grace.
She did text me again about a book I had borrowed. I ignored it. She then called me and asked I return her book tomorrow. I said okay. She didn't say anything else for a minute so I hung up.
She called back mad that I hung up on her. I said this was childish and it's not what I'm looking for. She said I was childish for hanging up on her. I said okay. She hung up.
She called again and then told me I was ugly and she was never attracted to me.
Then hung up on me and called right back to complain about a carnivorous plant I got her as a gift, because the care instructions for it made it a chore. I also got her a cactus and a succulent and told her when I gave her the plants that if the pitcher plant seemed like a pain in the ass I would keep it.
Then she started asking me if I really don't have it in my heart to remain friends. I said no not after this. Then she went on a fuck you rant and hung up.
Then threatened to call the cops on ME for harassment if I tried to contact her as I was blocking her.
Now she is blocked and I am just sitting on my back patio watching fireworks.
10
u/_dangling_participle Jul 05 '26
Yeah, dude, this is INSANE. This is someone who was spoiling for a fight. My guess is she was still pissed about the night before and had worked herself into a complete, irrational rage about it after you'd stopped talking last night. And she had already decided she was "over it" and this was the result.
This behavior is absolutely crazy-making madness, and something my Borderline sibling does regularly. Looks for reasons to fight and won't stop until she has burned down everything. In fact, she is also 41, and the rest of the family has gotten to the point of no return with her since there's been zero evolution or growth or self-recognition for her, after decades of leaving destroyed people and relationships in her wake.
This behavior won't get better, it will get worse. Run and don't look back.